Slacking Off in the Paranormal Investigation Bureau

Everyone in the mystical world knows that over two thousand years ago, a madwoman once fought her way up Kunlun Mountain alone, causing all the immortals to perish. Fortunately, the madwoman’s soul was ultimately destroyed, and the human world entered the Age of Declining Dharma. The madwoman herself, Di Jingfan: ...Sorry, I didn’t die. After waking from a long sleep, she learned that the mystical sects had already split her body into twelve pieces and hidden them away, and that she was still the enemy of the entire world. Di Jingfan: Emmm... Di Jingfan: Fine, then I’ll find my body and crush every last one of those bastards this time. So she immediately invited Min Qingliu, who had just been accepted into the Investigation Group: “Lend me your body. I’m going to join the group disguised as you.” Min Qingliu hesitated. “Sis, what are you going there for?” Di Jingfan replied with perfect diction, “Obviously, to slack off.” And when she found something to eat, she’d gobble it up. · The Investigation Group gained three interns unlike any others: bottom-ranked rookie “Min Qingliu,” Wudang’s good-for-nothing Mo Youqian, and rich, foolish Zong Xingyi. Put those three together, and you’d get a truly earth-shaking disaster. They went on missions every day and botched them every time. Either a mysterious person would knock them out and steal the credit, or the evil ghosts would turn completely stupid on the spot. A few times, they even ganged up on the clients. The team captain, Yue Min, who chewed blood-pressure pills like candy, calmly said, “It’s fine. Interns are all useless.” “Min Qingliu”, Di Jingfan: “Hehe, I’m so useless.” Mo Youqian nodded furiously. “Right, right. I’m good-for-nothing.” Zong Xingyi shyly lowered his eyes. “Mm-hmm, I’m so stupid.” As life in the group went on in utter chaos, the forbidden sites of the mystical sects were being picked off one after another by a mysterious person. Even the gatekeeping Shiva was twisted into a pretzel and hung from a tree as a taunt, leaving everyone in a panic. Until one day Yue Min accidentally found a suspicious object in Di Jingfan’s drawer. When she pulled it out to take a look, she discovered it was Shiva’s head, made into a lantern. Yue Min: ? Everyone: ?? In full view of everyone, the late-arriving Di Jingfan calmly shut the drawer. Then blazing black flames erupted. She smiled faintly. “Perfect. I’ve got all my body parts back now. Shall we settle our old scores? Let’s make it easy and all come at me together.” Mo Youqian and Zong Xingyi: ??? You were all pretending, so why are you the most outrageous one?! * [Reader’s Guide]: 1. CP is a beautiful monk. He has little screen time early on. 2. Parallel world, modern immortal-realm setting, not traditional mysticism, with a touch of Eastern fantasy. 3. The mystical elements are made up after referencing materials. Please don’t take them seriously. Theme: My fate is mine to control, not Heaven’s.