How Is Being a Widow Not a Career?

After this overworked office drone died from working overtime, she transmigrated as the daughter of a minor official. Bai Tu Dao: I'm going to lie flat and give up (peaceful.jpg)

She discovered she'd been given a marriage exchange with a nobleman who was about to die.

Her: A widow? That's practically a secure government job.

She was barely alive and just wanted to lie flat like a salted fish, enjoying each day as it came. She wanted nothing but food, drink, and fun.

If she died...

Wouldn't that be perfect? She could go back to the modern world and get her beloved phone.

After she married in and saw her husband lying in bed, she prayed earnestly: Since you're going to die anyway, leave me with a little memento before you go.

A relative scolded her: What a vicious woman! He's ill, how can you expect him to give you a child?

Husband: ...

Then he watched helplessly as she cleared out all the valuables in the bridal chamber.

Husband: ?

Every day after that, he watched her lie in bed even more than he did.

At a palace banquet, assassins attacked the emperor and the guests scattered in every direction. Only Bai Tu Dao stayed where she was: I can't be bothered to move.

Emperor: So loyal! Reward her!

After marrying in, she took lying flat to its logical conclusion: if she could sit, she wouldn't stand; if she could lie down, she wouldn't sit.

While the palace ladies schemed and plotted against one another, she seriously researched whether the twice-cooked fresh fish had been garnished with perilla or catnip.

While the princes busied themselves with palace intrigue and forming factions, Bai Tu Dao was pondering how the season for plump crabs followed the summer feast of shad.

While her cousin stamped her feet with jealousy, Bai Tu Dao yawned in bed and instructed a craftsman to build an outdoor barbecue under the grape trellis, where she could grill pork belly, chicken wings, and quail.

While her political rivals waited, solemn in their phoenix crowns and robes, at the gates of the Empress Dowager's palace, hoping to make a good impression when they paid their respects, Bai Tu Dao secretly fished dried meat from her sleeve to feed the cat.

After some time, the cousin whose marriage had been exchanged with hers asked tentatively, with pity, "You must be having a hard time, little sister?"

Bai Tu Dao nodded furiously. "My husband's mansion is gilded and full of delicious food. Every day is like New Year's, and I've gained ten pounds. Losing weight is so hard."

Her cousin: ?

And so Bai Tu Dao ate, drank, and enjoyed herself every day. Then she looked up one day and found that her husband had become emperor, and she was now empress.

Bai Tu Dao's family was renowned in their neighborhood. Though they were all minor officials, generations of marriages had built up their connections and brought prosperity to the clan.

Her father was confident about his precious daughter's marriage: "As long as you marry into the capital, our family will make sure you can throw your weight around in your husband's household!"

His daughter did indeed marry into the capital, but her husband eventually became emperor.

Father: ...

How was he supposed to live up to that boast?

Emperor: Go ahead and throw your weight around. I'll protect my empress.

*

When Yun Shou, a member of the imperial clan, first heard her name, he asked, "Bai Tu Dao Yao? White rabbit pounding medicine?"

"Bai Tu Dao, no medicine," Bai Tu Dao said emphatically. "I was given this name to wish me good health."

Years later, Yun Shou would think: So you were the medicine that healed me.

Theme: Optimism and cheerfulness