This Is a Survival Reality Show, Not a Fishing Game

My new novel, Don't Chop Off My Head, I'm a Treacherous Official, is now out. Please add it to your collection! ** Brilliant, confident, flamboyant, flirtatious celebrity bottom X uptight, abstinent older man, stern inspector top [A deadly game of cat and mouse between a serial “killer” and the head of the investigation team] After completing 101 missions in an infinite-flow world, Xiao Fen retired successfully and transmigrated into an ordinary passerby in a domineering CEO novel set in the entertainment industry. The moment he opened his eyes, a uniformed staff member told him, “You're under arrest.” Xiao Fen: Is this a new way to lie flat and enjoy retirement? His predecessor was a background character barely mentioned in the book, an obscure star with no real talent for acting, singing, or dancing, who'd debuted on looks alone. Timid and meek, he accidentally signed up for a brand-new variety show and became a minor contestant eliminated in the first round. No Escape is a reality-show manhunt challenge. The production team has celebrities and civilian experts play criminals, then pits them against a top national investigation team led by an elite chief inspector, alongside assault team members, criminal profilers, intelligence specialists, and more. Contestants who manage to avoid capture each time can win a huge cash prize. Xiao Fen, so broke he doesn't even have a System: How much did you say? Fang Siting, former tactical analyst at the Special Investigation Bureau and special inspector in its Operations Division, is uptight, abstinent, and never smiles. A workaholic, he always fastens his collar to the very top button and has handled more than a hundred major criminal cases without a single defeat. Plenty of criminals take one look at his solemn, imposing face and are so terrified their legs give out. The show begins While the other contestants try every possible way to conceal their whereabouts, Xiao Fen disguises himself, puts on an incredible performance, openly flirts with Fang Siting, and walks away right under the investigation team's noses. While the others wish they could flee to the wilderness, Xiao Fen goes on a late-night joyride with the investigation team, then drives off in full view of everyone. There's also a midnight scissors altar, a series of skinning murders in an ancient town, a maze of secret rooms in an old mansion... While the other contestants rack their brains to complete the challenges, Xiao Fen goes on dates, beats up scumbags and criminals, then quietly takes all the credit. If anyone asks, Inspector Fang is his alibi. At the start, the livestream chat said: [Who is this guy? He's so dull, what a waste of a pretty face.] [A rich kid with no brains is really the best they could get for this show?] [If he isn't caught in the first ten minutes, I'll wash my hair standing on my head.] After it aired, the livestream chat said: [This is so outrageous, it has gone completely off the rails.] [Fake criminals expose real crimes. Fighting crime starts with me!] [Who said my Fen-ge was just a pretty face? He flirts so well my legs have gone weak.] [Fen-ge actually winked at the King of Hell, Fang! Does he have a death wish?] After Xiao Fen repeatedly escaped right under his nose, Fang Siting swore he would beat him one day. The two of them did nothing but argue and fight in front of the cameras. Viewers around the world worried about Xiao Fen's safety every day, never expecting that after the finale, Fang Siting would propose to him. [Oh my god, the couple I ship is real!] Content notes: 1. Very important: This is an alternate modern world! The bottom transmigrates into a domineering CEO novel! Alternate world! Alternate world! It's very, very loosely based on reality! My own setting and version of the entertainment industry, completely detached from real life! The setting serves the plot, which is extremely unrealistic!!! There's no logic. 2. Same-sex marriage has only just become legal. 3. Very important: In case anyone missed the first note, I'll say it again. Some scenes are incredibly over-the-top and ridiculous, detached from reality. That's just my taste and writing style. 4. Some plot points foreshadow later developments, so this isn't a standard wish-fulfillment novel!!! If you want instant gratification after just a few chapters, please click away. If it's not your cup of tea, please don't be mean. Thank you. But if you're willing to stick around for a few more chapters, you might be in for a surprise. 5. There are harem-seeking tendencies, but everyone has their reasons. 6. Readers who are particular about morals, historical accuracy, or ethics should proceed with caution. 7. My writing skills are limited, but I'm working hard. If it's not for you, please click away. And thank you to the sweet readers who stay. I love you all so much (heart). Pre-release: Don't Chop Off My Head, I'm a Treacherous Official. Please add it to your collection: Sinister, ruthless tyrant top X sweet-talking, adorable treacherous official bottom Yin Wudu is the protagonist top of The Tyrant's Sweet, Dotting Top Scholar. Abused in the cold palace as a child, he grew up volatile, cruel, tyrannical, and autocratic. One of his great pleasures in life is experimenting with human-body cuisine. Today he'll pull out the censor's tongue and stir-fry it with bamboo shoots; tomorrow he'll toss the chancellor into a pot of boiling oil and fry him until crisp. Unfortunately, Fu Li has just transmigrated into the censor who is about to lose his tongue. The System tells him that if he waits until the Great Liang dynasty falls, he'll receive a hundred million in prize money and return to his original world. Knowing the plot, he understands that in a few years the tyrant will destroy his own empire after a love-hate struggle with the top scholar. The problem is, how many years? The book never says, and the tyrant is about to get him killed. To hasten the dynasty's fall, the terrified censor Fu can only do his best to flatter and appease Yin Wudu while supporting every move that could bring down the empire Yin Wudu's headaches flare up, and he doesn't want to deal with state affairs, so he plans to have a eunuch govern in his place. The entire court cries out that the eunuchs are ruining the country. “You say Eunuch Wang sells offices, promotes his cronies, persecutes loyal officials, and does every evil imaginable... He's endured all these insults for His Majesty's sake, so His Majesty can rest. Please reward Eunuch Wang.” The officials: ??? “Besides, he's the only one in the entire court who has found good doctors and medicine to ease His Majesty's headaches. If he's not a loyal minister, then are you alarmist officials?” Eunuch Wang, who wants to seize power: secretly gets rid of the poison meant to harm the emperor. Censor Fu definitely has something on me. “Your Majesty, everyone else only cares whether the government falls into chaos. I'm the only one who cares about Your Majesty's headache.” Yin Wudu: Are all censors this considerate? A few days later, the officials watch in horror as the all-powerful Eunuch Wang grovels before Fu Li. * An enemy nation invades. The court's generals are either useless drunkards or factional schemers. Just as the chancellor is about to suggest sending the great general to war, Fu Li rushes to stop him. “The people at the border aren't nearly as important as His Majesty's safety. The great general must stay in the capital and protect His Majesty! You there, gate guard, the one who looks weakest, you should go. That's my recommendation.” The gate guard, a capable man with no knack for politics: I've been fortunate to meet a benefactor. I won't let you down. Yin Wudu: He loves me so much. The officials: The Great Liang is really going to fall! A few months later, the border campaign ends in a great victory. The neighboring countries surrender, and Great Liang's territory doubles. * The censor, “honest, upright, and incorruptible,” praises the tyrant so eloquently that he makes history, reaches new heights, and turns him into an unprecedented, peerless sage ruler. Fu Li scratches his head: I think I achieved my goal (staying alive), but maybe I didn't (bringing down the dynasty). Then the officials suggest filling the imperial harem, and Yin Wudu refuses, saying he likes men. Without thinking, Fu Li speaks up against the opposition and supports Yin Wudu. “Men can also enter the harem as male consorts and attendants.” With no heirs, the dynasty is sure to fall. Yin Wudu is delighted. “Since Censor Fu supports it too, then enter the palace at once. We'll hold the coronation ceremony in a few days.” Fu Li: ??? Can someone explain why a flower has sprouted from the head of this gloomy tyrant? Censor Fu: Wasn't this a proper political intrigue novel? Only when a green vine coils around his slender, pale ankle and winds up his calf does he finally remember that this tyrant also has a reputation for living a life of debauchery. #I survived another day# #Today, Censor Fu confessed his love to me again# #Waiting for my wife to praise me every day# #My wife is so good at running the country, amazing# #A guide to the cold, arrogant emperor's self-directed romance# P.S.: ★ The top is a hybrid of a vine spirit and a human. Little flowers bloom on his body when he's happy or embarrassed. ★ The plot is ridiculous wish fulfillment, with a sweet romance. ★ The top is a genuine tyrant at first, the kind history books would condemn without mercy. Theme: The law is vast and just, and no crime goes unpunished. Preventing and fighting crime starts with me.