I Got the Male Lead's Script in a Fake Heiress Novel

[A shameless flight of fancy from my experimental period. Over-the-top and nonsensical.]

[Free-spirited good girl X refined scoundrel, sulky and scheming]

Su Zhixia had had enough of being a good girl. She was hiding under the covers reading a novel when, in a single moment, she transmigrated into a book. She opened her eyes, full of trepidation.

In a story about a real and fake heiress.

The fake heiress had stolen someone else's place, was dripping with fake sweetness, and was ruthless in her schemes. To secure an arranged marriage to a wealthy old man, she schemed and did everything she could to crush the real heiress, who'd grown up in the countryside.

The real heiress was a sweet but airheaded beauty with tear ducts on overdrive. She was framed and bullied every day, but don't worry about her. As the heroine, she'd suddenly wake up one day and swap bodies with the wealthy, disabled old man.

Su Zhixia's heart pounded. Was she the green tea or the airhead?

The rainbow-colored hair in the mirror made her vision go dark.

Damn it! She was the cannon-fodder little sister, forever being deceived by her green tea fake older sister into targeting her airheaded real older sister. She was rebellious, she was a punk, and in the end her disabled old-man brother-in-law would stand up and mercilessly crush her to bits.

Su Zhixia looked around the luxurious mansion, sprawled on a mattress worth a million, and drooled.

Great. For the sake of staying alive and owning a seaside mansion in the capitalist future, no one was going to stop her from being the perfect wingwoman for her sister and brother-in-law. She'd cling to her airheaded sister, sponge off her and her brother-in-law, and climb straight to the top.

Except

At long last, she didn't have to be a good girl anymore. She let loose and managed to become a big name in an online "punk family" group, with a crowd of lovestruck followers behind her.

"Sister Xia, take a look. Here's the list of imperial consorts who want to marry you online. Pick one."

Faced with a group of boys sporting explosive hairstyles in every color of the rainbow, Su Zhixia didn't know what to do.

She went to get lunch at school, and some cool, aloof, noble guy bumped his food into her uniform.

Her die-hard fangirl shouted, "Hey, you! Don't think you can get my Sister Xia's attention!"

She went to a bar to see what it was like, and kept "coincidentally" running into a man with flushed cheeks and an outwardly chaste demeanor.

Su Zhixia took the drunk guy home, only for him to claim she'd trespassed. He pointed at her front door and said, "This is my house!"

And that wasn't all. The man was over six feet tall, but right there he performed a perfectly flat fall.

Or "accidentally" tripped and spun a full 360 degrees, hoping to fall into Su Zhixia's arms.

Even when Su Zhixia rode her bike, she ran into people pretending to get hit. A handsome man lay down on the ground, and when he woke, he parted his thin lips and said, "I've lost my memory."

Su Zhixia: ? Ha. Men. What a pathetic trick.

Wen Xiuhuai came from one of the most powerful families in the country. He was handsome, and countless scheming admirers tried to get close to him, which he found tiresome.

Then he met a girl who seemed to glow with golden light. At first, he thought he needed to see an eye doctor. Then he discovered his older brother had swapped bodies with someone else.

All right, so he was the normal one.

Thinking of his grandfather in a vegetative state and his disabled older brother, he studied such strange books as How to Be Friends with Girls and One Hundred Ways to Make a Rebellious, Airheaded Girl's Heart Flutter. He was determined to get a little of that golden light.

It all worked out...

He forgot what his original goal had been, and Su Zhixia's gaze grew stranger and stranger.

One day she asked him to run an errand, the next to do her homework, and the day after that to collect her love letters. He spent his money, lost his heart, and was completely hooked.

But when he asked what their relationship was now...

Su Zhixia: Aren't we good friends?

Unable to sleep in the middle of the night, Wen Xiuhuai decided he wouldn't indulge this heartbreaker anymore. He called to tell her they should stop keeping in touch.

Su Zhixia: You're special. You're not like other boys.

Wen Xiuhuai fell silent.

The next day, he pointed to a seaside mansion and asked, "Do you like this? I have one."

Friends and family: Promise me you won't be a pathetic simp, okay?

Reading guide: 1v1, goofy and unthinking heroine, poor logic, pulp fiction.

Theme: Say what you want out loud. If you have a dream, go after it!