Even Yang Jian Can't Do Anything to Me

After the Battle of the Investiture of the Gods, Daji went into hiding, kept to herself on her mountain, and tried to live quietly. Then she raised a mischievous little fox spirit who gave her no end of headaches.

One day, the little fox spirit went out and didn't come back. When Daji went looking for her, she found her dear daughter tied up by a pig demon, bawling, "You pig-headed idiot, do you know who I am?!"

The pig demon roared, "Do you know who I am? Do you know who my senior brother is? When he gets back, he'll rip your skin off and tear out your tendons!"

The little fox spirit yelled, "Your senior brother is nobody! Even if Yang Jian showed up, he couldn't do anything to me!"

Daji had been about to rush out to save her daughter, but stopped short. "..."

Before long, the long-quiet Yang Residence at Guanjiangkou received a visitor with a hairy face and a thunder-god's beak.

Sun Wukong dangled a little fox from his hand and walked up to Yang Jian with a knowing smile. "Little Sage Yang, your daughter wants to kill my master and eat him. How are you going to settle this?"

Yang Jian, who had suddenly become a father: "...?"

-

Please note:

1. This story features melodramatic pregnancy-and-flight plotlines and child-rearing.

2. A slice-of-life story: a little hellion, a laid-back mother who just wants to lie flat, and an utterly exhausted father.

3. Some Investiture of the Gods, some Journey to the West, and a mountain of my own made-up ideas. This is wildly invented and altered, my own take on fanfiction!!! Fans of prehistoric fantasy, don't read this!!!

4. The main story is based on the ending of the original Investiture of the Gods. Yang Jian and Daji are on opposing sides in the original, so if you have a problem with the premise, go take it up with Xu Zhonglin!!! If you can't accept it, don't read fanfiction!!! Don't bring your expectations for original fiction into fanfiction with established stories and rules!!! This is not a wish-fulfillment story!!! And don't bring fanfiction settings from who-knows-where into mine!!!

5. [Important]

I've been writing Yang Jian/Daji since 2017. In six years, I've written six Yang Jian/Daji stories. Since there are so many, and I don't want to rehash old material, [each one explores a new setting]. If you're wondering why someone is one way instead of another, is it possible that [I've already written them that other way]?

If you want to see a certain kind of plot but haven't found it here, could it be that [I've already written it in another version]? This may be your first time reading my work and you may have things you want to see, but this is my Nth time writing this pairing. I don't want to write two stories with similar plotlines. I want to try something new. That's understandable, right?

Just think of it as my own radical reimagining. This pairing has been a dead fandom for six years, and I've been the only one writing for it. I'll write and write and write until I've come up with [ten thousand worlds and ten thousand possible paths]. I'm the only one keeping this quiet little fandom alive, so [I'll write it however I want]! I take my writing seriously, but I can't satisfy everyone's tastes. [If you think there's something wrong with my writing, you're warmly welcome to write your own], join the dead fandom, and help improve its quality. It's your duty. Then I can lie flat. Yay! (I really do want to live the life where food is brought straight to me.)

6. The main story has an open ending; the extras have a happy ending. Child-rearing takes up a lot of the story. What? You want to know why I wrote it this way instead of what you expected? Go back and read point 5.

7. More Yang Jian/Daji stories can be found in my author page's collection: I Draw Eyeliner for the True Lord, I Am the True Lord's Darling, The True Lord Is So Charming, Am I Really the True Lord's Bedmate?, I Urge the True Lord to Act Like a Decent Person, and I Pretended to Be Yang Jian's Evil Disciple and Kissed Him.

8. I'm tired. This list of notes is longer than the blurb.

Cover artist: @Jing He Yi. Commissioned exclusively; please do not use it elsewhere.

Theme: Family education is of utmost importance.