[Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Crackfic] A Life of Whitewashed Cups and Meals

Believe me, I really am a pure-hearted, upright young man. At most, I have a slight obsession with marshmallows. So... Dango-brow, stop looking at me with those admiring eyes. I'm not gay! Eyeshadow Guy, you purebred masochist, stop dropping to your knees in front of me every chance you get! Depressed Uncle, give me a break. I really have no interest in conquering the world! Vacuum-Sealed Loli, it's fine if you like being naked, but get off my bed first! I'm a law-abiding, upstanding citizen! I refuse to become some kind of world-conquering big boss! This is the story of a marshmallow alien who transmigrated without realizing they'd transmigrated. You don't need me to tell you who the protagonist is, do you? A snarky comedy. Lighthearted and silly. Everyone is completely out of character. No CP. Probably. PS1: This story was inspired by a dream I had. The plot is bizarre, and it left me personally reeling in embarrassment, so I decided to post it and let everyone share in the awkwardness. PS2: I started this on a whim, so updates are irregular. PS3: The music mentioned in the blurb is Sound Horizon's "The Day I Shot Down My Lover." See the lyrics in the prologue section titled "A Few Words." Other Katekyo Hitman Reborn stories by the author: A fake pineapple-haired boy works to overturn his canned fate → A shut-in's tragic tale: first transmigrating into the Second Vongola boss, then into XANXUS →