The Years I Swapped Bodies with Dazai

In the year 22XX, my grandmother left me a full-dive otome game.

In the game were Hanyu, a student from Namimori; Camus, a newcomer at the distillery; Komi, a new student at Jujutsu High; and Igarashi, a newcomer to the Port Mafia.

The player ID was Aurora Gellert Dumbledore. That's right, I was in my chuuni phase, and the names above were me and my secret identities.

A mysterious force in the game triggered an unknown event, and Dazai and I switched bodies. To cover up my chuuni secret identities, I did the following:

Before his period, Dazai stuffed himself with crab meat. I didn't stop him, and even cheerfully handed him ice cream to distract him. As a result, the passing Koyo smacked me hard on the head. After enduring painful cramps, Dazai threatened to cut off my beautiful, long, straight black hair. I promptly headed to the Port Mafia headquarters, gathered all the subordinates Dazai could summon, and prepared to perform seppuku in front of them.

Akutagawa: ?!

Dazai, who had nearly lost his qualification to be a male walking pile of sludge, expressionlessly dug up all my secret identities and shot me in the head. Since the game had a child-protection mechanism, all I saw was Dazai holding a gun and performing the wise act of shooting watermelons, tomatoes, and grapes. Then I saw a group of fake booze mourn the watermelon, a group of sorcerers go mad over the tomato, and the Port Mafia hold a moment of silence for the grapes...

I was deeply shocked. The gap between the two-dimensional and three-dimensional worlds was truly enormous, so I turned down Dazai's desperate confession.

Reader's guide:

1. This is an otome game. Naturally, I've raised the affection of all the characters you're supposed to pursue.

2. Dazai is the male lead because he gets a lot of screen time, but the heroine's CP isn't necessarily with him.

3. Shinichi and Ran, Kyo and Sonoko, and Heiji and Kazuha won't be broken up. The others are uncertain.

4. The heroine will always look sixteen from the outside in the later part of the story. Her game ID makes it obvious she's something like the great-granddaughter of G.G.A.D., so she'll have very strong magical talent. Her golden finger is absurdly powerful.

5. The main story is told in first person. If you don't like that, please don't read.

Theme: A universe of wild ideas