--My father is Emperor Gaozong of Tang? My mother is Wu Zetian?
--Hehe, that doesn't stop me from picking up trash.
The moment Li Changying opened her eyes, a maid in the Tang palace fed her a lethal dose of poison.
"Time until death: 59 seconds, 58 seconds, 57 seconds... Host, would you like to bind the Trash-Picking Life Extension System?"
Broken tiles from the Tang palace, +1 second
A thousand jin of coal ash, +1 hour
A discarded painting by the Crown Prince, +5 days
A memorial discarded by Emperor Gaozong, +10 days
An old fan replaced by Empress Wu, +10 days
A discarded writing brush of Di Renjie, +8 days
The System said, "Let's work hard and get cracking at picking up trash. Within twenty years, I guarantee I'll help the Host earn a hundred years of extra life and claim first place in performance!"
Li Changying said, "Nope. I refuse to hustle."
If there was a shortcut, she would never take the long way. If there was a loophole, she would never waste her energy.
Every time her remaining lifespan reached thirty days, Li Changying would lie flat and do absolutely nothing.
The System: "!!!"
Everyone in the Tang palace knew that Princess Anding was a remarkable young woman, beloved by all the nobles inside and outside the palace.
Li Zhi: "Whenever governing the country frustrates me and I can't help throwing things to vent, A Ying thoughtfully stays by my side."
Li Hong: "I'm not good at painting, but I love to paint. Only A Ying praises me sincerely, without pretending, and quietly collects all my discarded paintings."
Empress Wu: "Whenever my heart is heavy, A Ying brings me my favorite wine and a fan, letting me write calligraphy to my heart's content and express myself."
Di Renjie: "Princess Anding is benevolent, filial, respectful, and frugal, a model for all young women."
Wu Chengsi: "Why am I the only one who's different from everyone else? Every time my cousin comes over, she makes me furious and causes me to lose gems and pearls, jade and gold-embroidered robes... She's picked my whole fortune clean!"
After Princess Anding entered the Daoist order, everyone realized she was an enormous lucky star.
Build sewage pipes, generate biogas, and turn waste into fertilizer.
Use coal ash to make cement, and broken tiles to build tall walls, bringing roads to every village.
Climb a mountain and find high-yield potatoes; go down to the river and enjoy a bumper fishing harvest. Pray for rain in a drought and it comes; pray for disasters to end and they stop... She can even identify the culprit in the wrongful case of the neighbor, Wu Dalang, at a glance.
How could she be merely Princess Anding? She was a blessing to the Tang dynasty!
Worshipping her makes perfect sense.
Li "Lazy Fish" Changying: "???"
She only wanted to live comfortably.
Tang princesses were expected to practice at a Daoist temple, and the neighborhood was full of outdoor latrines. Every morning, when the east wind blew, the smell was overpowering.
To eat the French fries and spicy hot pot she craved, she had to turn coal ash, broken tiles, and other waste into useful things to earn reward points and exchange them for food from outside the Tang dynasty.
Whenever there was a drought or natural disaster, Li Zhi made the palace staff set an example by tightening their belts. She wasn't about to live in hardship.
As for Wu Dalang's wrongful conviction, it would have been fine not to save that wastrel, but he offered too much.
The System, which had long since given up: "I thought we'd finish last in performance, but it turns out we won big in the end!"
(Draft of the blurb saved on 2022.12.02)
Theme: Protect the environment, turn waste into treasure, and live life with a positive attitude
