City Drifter: B. Black Heart

I think life is actually not what you say. If you say it this way, is there still love in this world?

This is the first time I left a message on Bing's post, and I feel very emotional and ashamed. In fact, more than ten days ago, I saw everyone talking about your lost beauty in the group, so I stopped by to take a look, but she was so shameless. The reason why I didn't leave a word was not because Bing's writing was not good, but because the sad words made me feel inexplicably heavy, so I didn't know what to say. Watching Subjugation, I felt that Bing was a man with too much sadness, but after reading this article, I realized how strong you are. Your life is tortuous but also wonderful. I may be of a similar age to you, but I have always been well protected by my family and have never suffered much. I have the loneliness of wandering in a foreign land, but I have never had to worry about livelihood issues. I have always been a student, so I may not understand the intrigues in the workplace, but I can also understand the pain of being betrayed by someone you trust. Looking at your life, although there are all kinds of difficulties, you are so strong in facing it, and then think about myself who is always complaining despite being cared for by so many people. I am very touched and ashamed. Nine times out of ten, life will be unsatisfactory - there are always unsatisfactory moments on the road to growth. All along, I have always been selfish and hiding in the ivory tower, refusing to grow up because I don't want to face this ugly adult world. But after all, we are not Peter Pan. So we can't live in Neverland forever. The adult world is cruel, but we will eventually become an integral part of it. So I admire your strength even more, because you face your growth so bravely. Even the calm steps are filled with stumbling throbbing and sentimentality. This year I will graduate and start working. After reading your article, it is an encouragement to me. After breaking away from the wings of my parents, I may also encounter storms in the future, but when I think about some corner of the world, there are actually people who have experienced or are going through the test of wind and rain like me, I will feel that I am no longer alone. I have always liked the sentence: tomorrow is other day. We are lucky because we are still young. If we fall, we will come back again. Everything is possible and it is not too late. We are just on the road. Ps. I just posted the unfinished review in a flash~ bursting into tears... Happy Chinese New Year!

This is the first time I left a message on Bing's post, and I feel very emotional and ashamed. In fact, more than ten days ago, I saw everyone talking about your lost country beauty in the group, so I stopped by to take a look, but she was so shameless. The reason why I didn't leave a word was not because Bing's writing was not good, but because the sad writing made me feel sad.

Reading Bing's article for the first time, I think Bing's experience is really rich and painful. Yesterday Bing asked the question of life and death in the group. This is something I, a child, have never thought about, because I feel that there is no need for a reason to live. Only by living can you change something. Even if you can't change others or the world, you can at least change yourself and make yourself happy. Life is inherently short. By the time you find the reason, life may have already left you. I feel that I am not a happy person, but I live happily every day, making my friends feel happy and bringing joy to them. Although sometimes those negative thoughts will always make me very unhappy, but if I really want to sink, I will never be able to float up. Yesterday in my diary, I suddenly remembered my 17-year-old self. Maybe it was because of the youth of Zhida and other friends in the group that I missed it very much. Although I am studying, I have changed a lot in the past four years. Although I still care about my friends, I have become very protective. I still remember that when I left home for the first time and went to Beijing to study alone, I cried all night after reading a letter from a friend. Every time I read it, tears filled my eyes. Every aspect of life is difficult for me. I always feel that I am a very idiot. Others can easily learn to calculate and compete. I have learned it for a long time, but I still can't do it now. Even some small things in life, I can't do it like a normal person. I didn't dare call home because I didn't want my parents to know I was crying. The tears ran away in the first two years. Then life seemed to get smoother inexplicably. Every time I go home, I feel like time is standing still with my friends. My family and friends have not changed, but I am changing. Why did I take the exam to Beijing? I just had a vague feeling that I wanted to get rid of the ignorant state at that time. When I was a sophomore, I seemed to have found another way out of my current situation, and I have been working hard for it ever since. For a clumsy and timid person like me, it takes a lot of determination, a lot of shivers, and a lot of dust to make a bold move. In fact, in the eyes of others, it is just a big deal. In my diary, there are all traces of struggle, and I hardly recorded any warm feelings. Although touching will still happen, touching seems not to be the theme. There is always a price to pay for growth, and ignorance is also a kind of happiness. But for me, it's unbearable. I would rather cry and find the truth than be ignorantly happy. So I always think the worst of people in a dark way, and then when I encounter betrayal, I accept it quite tolerantly. I can't frame others, but I always hope that I can prevent myself from being harmed, at least mentally. People are just that, friends and lovers are just that. Despite this, I still hope to treat everyone around me sincerely. My biggest gain in these four years is learning to give. You don't give your feelings in return, just because you want to be nice to others, even if you encounter betrayal. Giving itself is a pleasure. But paradoxically, people who give more and become more open must actually be very defensive. I wasn't even aware of being defensive, but a best friend told me about it. She decided to be my best friend since she was a sophomore in college. She has been proactively caring for me for the past three years. Most of the time she was met with cold treatment, but she definitely understands me, especially my dark side. After my sophomore year, I only cried in front of her. She was the only one who knew that I cried easily and would cry for hours at a time. I feel very lucky to have many friends around me, and there are also friends who understand me very well and tolerate me, even if they are selfish. Because I am more selfish than them. During the Chinese New Year this year, I was alone in the dormitory because I had to do an internship. I didn't call home, I just sent a text message saying that I wouldn't go home to celebrate the New Year this year. It was very heartless and not warm at all. This is my most indifferent year, just like my most indifferent birthday at the age of 19 (people's lunar birthdays and solar birthdays will overlap in 19 years, and the next one will be when I am 38 years old). But I won't cry anymore, and I don't even have the thought of crying. The school cafeteria is closed, as are many facilities. I used to lose my temper and scold the school, but now I don't even have the desire to scold the school. What's the use of being an angry youth? Habit is a terrible thing. Loneliness, disappointment, and even death can be used to it. When my grandfather passed away, I didn't feel very sad because I was already prepared for his death. Moreover, during the more than ten years when I was growing up, he and my grandmother immigrated to the United States, just to immigrate their children. They immigrated to the United States at the age of over 60. I can't imagine what kind of life they lived. However, no matter how respectable I think they are, it is difficult for me to have a feeling of admiration, as if a respected elder has left me instead of a relative. I can't reduce my indifference to his death. No matter how guilty I am, I can't help but be indifferent. I was not a filial daughter. I always did my own thing willfully. I didn't expect my family to feel so sad when I left them, but I always said things like "just do whatever you want" that goes against your will. But even if they told the truth, would I stay? I am very home-loving by nature, but there is always a strong feeling that urges me to pursue something. I don't even know what I want, but I don't want to be like this. I firmly believe that one day, I will go back to my original place and live an ordinary life. That is my ultimate goal, but before that, I cannot do this. I always ignore the care of people around me, so I wait for the day when I will lose them forever. I can't put down my own affairs and devote myself to my relationship. So it's better not to start. The sad thing is that even at the age of 17, I was not a person who could dedicate everything to my passion, never, so it was also a lack. It seems that the flowering season has passed without blooming, so I long for those children who are still living in the flowering season, those children who run rampant regardless of the consequences. I believe that a person's destiny is determined by his or her personality, and I feel more and more that my personality, which is deeply rooted in my bones, has profoundly affected the trajectory of my past life. Although they bring me not all happiness, but that is my fate, I cannot get rid of it, I can only keep going. But I believe that on the same path, some people can always make themselves happier, as long as they are willing. The above are all talking to myself and there is no comment on Bingda's article. I just feel that the loneliness and sadness revealed in Bing's article are somewhat similar to my short past. Although my experiences and setbacks are definitely not comparable to Bing's, I still really hope that Bing can be happier, because there are many people in the world who are as unhappy as Bing, and forcing a smile is still smiling, or at least trying hard to smile. Life becomes more colorful because of struggle and smiles. My classmate said that the best way to express his unhappiness is to write an article. I believe Bing also understands this very well:) However, I have something to say, but I can't express it well. The human body is like a closed jar, and dark things are trapped inside and cannot come out. But I've gotten used to it by being sullen. Wouldn't it be painful to pour out the contents?

I think Xiaobing's article is really good. It would be even better if some plot was added. Xiaobing could consider writing it into a story about his own life. I remember a literary master once told me that if you want to write a good article, you must first let others understand your article, because writing is for others to read (MS Xiaobing is for self-entertainment = =), so since then I have given up writing articles filled with rhetoric. Although many people now like that kind of gorgeous writing, I will never write it again. Writing is very tiring and a waste of time. The point is that many people can't understand it, and the pile of articles seems empty and will not let people experience plain emotions. He also said that if you want to write a good article, you have to write the original character from the people around you or even yourself, add the meaning you want to express, and change him/her to become a typical character. No matter how exquisite a person's idea is, as long as it is not derived from life, it will not be a good work. I plan to communicate with him again after I go home this holiday. He has read a lot of books. I have never admired anyone who engages in literature in my life. Now I admire him~~~bye~~I will come here to tell you about it after I gain experience, HOHO. Others say that the writing I write is very soft, as if it is made of water, which makes me feel depressed. I also want to write an atmospheric article~~atmospheric~~~ (I was criticized by PIA, so I have to push myself even further.) But a friend of mine said, write an atmospheric article? It's so simple. If you replace love with intrigue, it becomes so grand. I fainted at the time. Where can I, a little brat like me, find this kind of experience? Reading a book is nothing more than talking on paper, so I'll just write about a child's growing up experience... (MS Xiaocai I wrote about is still a little kid now, ahhhh, I really want to write about him growing up later) Xiaobing must have felt that he has grown a lot recently. You can consider writing an article about growth. You don't have to write about real life. You can bring this idea to the subject matter you want to write about. You can write about magic, you can write about the palace, you can also write about JJ's most popular time travel (ah, I have absolutely no BS time travel intention), or even write about Danmei. Write a manuscript, write a plan, and write a long article. You will definitely be able to write a good article. Cry, I also want to write like this, rolling~~Why don't I grow up~~Walling again, I don't want to grow up, I want to continue to live a degenerate college life~~(Here I am again, I just started to lament that college is short = =) Khan, am I sick today? So much nonsense. Don't think I talk too much... Don't think I talk too much. Don't think I talk too much. Don't think I talk too much. Don't think I talk too much. Don't think I talk too much. (Repeat machine)

Xiao Zhi's words moved me very much, and I was also very pleased. It is enough to have a confidant in my life. God opens the same door and closes another door. Often thinking about the beautiful things in our lives will strengthen our confidence in life. "There's a heaven above u, baby." I often say this to myself. One day we will find the heaven that belongs to us. As long as we persist and work hard, one day there will be a dawn that belongs to us. Wish you: Happy New Year! Be happy every day.

In addition, I would like to tell Xiaobing that it is the same everywhere. JJ is a microcosm of the entire society, and JJ also embodies the current situation in China. I know who you are talking about, especially one of your best friends. I agree with what you said. You can trust a person, but don't completely trust anyone, no matter who it is, including your best friend, including me who you met online. No one is perfect, and no one will give all his heart to others, but no one will be absolutely profit-oriented when becoming friends with others, so treat others well, but do not give everything to them. I am very worried about you treating people like this. There will be scammers even on the Internet. Although the Internet is illusory, it is also made up of people. We should treat it the same as dealing with reality. Don't give up on yourself, let alone lack confidence. You have enough life experience and you have certain literary skills. If you combine the two, you can write good articles. When your writing resonates with others, that's when you succeed. Don't put too much pressure on me and wish you good luck with your work! But... The body comes first. = =

I wanted to cry when I saw it. Xiaobing finally found the article that suits him. Although I can't see you during the Chinese New Year, I will chat with you online. If you don't experience pain, how can you be happy? There is a sentence that I have read over and over again N+1 times: When God opens the same door, he will close another door. Every time you lose, think about it, there will always be compensation. When you get it, tell yourself, don't be proud, any good thing has to pay a price. Think more about the fact that there are so many friends around you. Even if human nature is selfish, they still care about you in many trivial things. Cherish yourself now, cherish every joy, cherish every minute and every second, then life will be meaningful. Although I haven't left society yet, I don't know Xiaobing's pain. But every time I read something you wrote, I feel that the protagonist is very lonely. This feeling makes me feel very uncomfortable, and it also makes me afraid of growing up. But people have to face it one day. We must learn to face it. But I very much hope that you can be happier and smile more, and that you no longer have a melancholy face in the photo. The first thing you do every morning when you wake up and smile at yourself in the mirror will make you feel better throughout the day. Looking forward to the update, JJ needs such good articles. :) PS, Happy New Year (MS I have forgotten this, sweat, sweat)

Kan kani dian

The prodigal son has the feelings of a prodigal son. He pours a glass of wine and warms up with you. The road will eventually go on.