The Serpent Gu Beauty: Infinite

Major rewrite in progress. Don't read yet!

When asked what it felt like to have a thousand Gu worms devour his heart, Lu Zhenbai smiled sincerely and said, "It tickles. Feels pretty good. Want to try?"

The last surviving bloodline of the great shaman of Southern Xinjiang, he had peerless talent, but also bore the heaviest curse of the Age of Declining Magic. His spiritual meridians had vanished, and all spiritual arts and spells would end with him.

Gu worms were poisonous, but the human heart was more poisonous still.

Human desire often led to self-destruction. The clans all fell into ruin, the spiritual veins of Huajing were shattered, and all that remained in the world were charlatans and a few ascetics who had no idea how to practice properly. They all said the prophecy had come true.

They believed it was all because of him, or It.

The only shaman in the world who hadn't lost his spiritual powers, the cursed figure of legend, Lu Zhenbai, whose heart had been cut out as a child, said, "Snakes hold grudges, of course."

He had ended the Age of Declining Magic with little effort and taken his revenge. He was ready to flick his tail and leave, to find somewhere scenic and live in carefree ease, when he was dragged into a horror game.

Right off the bat, he got a 996 schedule, an unfair contract, and empty promises. Was he supposed to put up with that?

He was Lu Zhenbai, who had never worked a day in his life: mountain king, barely socialized. So he decided to lie flat. NPCs? Let the snakes bite them. Scripted kills? Take a nap. The death mechanic? Anyone who had touched his blood either died of poison or lost their mind to the Heart-Erosion Gu.

But the endless waves of scripted events were too much of a bother. He just wanted to sleep, play with snakes, and feast!

Then a charlatan showed up and told Lu Zhenbai that if he followed his instructions, he could pretend to put in effort for five minutes and then lounge around for the rest of the game!

For Lu Zhenbai, who would always take a shortcut rather than earn a single extra point of exploration progress, and would always take a nap rather than move one step more, this was perfect.

And so the two became the most shameless duo in the horror game. They swindled the pants off countless players, and even the System fell victim to their tricks.

The System at first: Warning! Points will be deducted! You can't do that! You can't do this!

Lu Zhenbai: Merciless.jpg (sleeping)

The System later: Sir! Please! This instance only lasts five days. Just go through the motions. You can even sleep the whole five days! Please don't cause trouble with that other shameless player!!!

The System later still: Free rest time! Please, my lords, stop entering instances, sob sob sob.

Lu Zhenbai: (yawns) It's cold. I'm going into hibernation.

Mu Qidan: That wouldn't be right. We're the game's most devoted players. (Smiles slyly, then sells the instance exemption tickets at a huge markup.)

The System: Great! Absolutely great! Who would dare say otherwise!! (in a tearful voice)

Little scene

On a damp, muggy, rainy day, Lu Zhenbai slept fitfully beneath a soft blanket. He suddenly caught a strange, enticing scent. His appetite drove him toward the kitchen, where a pot of mushroom soup was bubbling away on the stove... Mu Qidan had just returned with the ingredients delivered to the door and was about to start cooking when he saw the young man standing barefoot in the doorway, licking his lips with a look of lingering satisfaction.

He clung softly to the man's body and murmured, "I'm so hot. What did you put in the soup?"

The man, thoroughly pleased, smiled seductively and said slowly, "Hot water."

And a little bit of delicious, undercooked mushroom. It was enough to stop the little snake, whose heat was approaching, from thinking only about sleep all the time. Now he was ready to sleep... with him.

Warnings: Both leads are black-hearted. The bottom is a snake, so avoid if you're afraid of snakes. Beautiful bottom, handsome top. They use each other at first, then the act becomes real (?). Both are virgins. The bottom has snake-kin blood (he can pass on his bloodline, but that doesn't happen in this story). He has little morality and thinks like a wild animal. The top has no morals and will buy anything. One-sided crush at first, then mutual. The bottom is merciless after getting what he wants. The bottom is beloved by all. Fake poly relationship (the top splits into two).

Mad, battle-hardened snake who pretends to be a helpless flower but is actually a big shot x The scheming, domestic-life-ready Daoist who pretends to be vicious but is actually a shameless player

Theme: Who with any sense would go to work?