The Secret Love Affairs of Dolores Umbridge

Dolores Umbridge was clearly not an extraordinary person.

But she was a close confidante of former Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge.

She had also served as a professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, Senior Undersecretary to the Ministry of Magic, and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts.

Later, she became Headmistress of Hogwarts and issued several Educational Decrees in an attempt to interfere with teaching at the school.

It was not until Voldemort fell that Umbridge was sentenced to life imprisonment for her past actions, including cooperating with Voldemort.

She would serve her life sentence in the highest-security wing of Azkaban, the wizarding prison.

But it is rumored that she has been secretly released and is recuperating at a private residence.

So how exactly did she climb to the top, step by step, without ever truly falling from the cliff?

The writer has discovered that it all seems to have something to do with a number of mysterious gentlemen.

Who are they, exactly?

What sort of romantic escapades did the imprisoned former Senior Undersecretary get up to?

Stay tuned for this magazine's "The Secret Lovers of Dolores Umbridge"

Respectfully submitted,

Rita Skeeter, author of this magazine

This is a parody. Please do not take it too seriously.

A little light mockery of Dolores Umbridge (& Rita Skeeter)

The plot requires it. No harmful messages intended.

Minors are advised to read with caution.

Hahahahaha, I can't believe I actually wrote something like this :)

Updates whenever inspiration strikes

Theme: Fighting made-up nonsense to the very end