After Failing to Matchmake the Protagonist

[Looks-Obsessed Sunshine Boy, a Growing Artistic Cultivator Beauty Bottom × Insecure, Antisocial, Cold and Obsessive Split Top] Song Lanting, a pampered young master and fresh graduate with a clear, if rather foolish, mind, was tricked by the System into transmigrating to the cultivation world as a tool to bring two protagonists together. He took one look and saw two men. Fine, he could deal with that. But they both seemed straight. One had been born without the seven emotions and six desires, while the other was so antisocial he distrusted the entire world. How was Song supposed to deal with that? How could he play matchmaker? But as the saying goes, since he was already here... What was so hard about getting two men together? Straight-boy Song was going all in! (ー`´ー) To create an opportunity for the protagonists to meet, Song Lanting worked hard to befriend them. Protagonist Lin Xuanqing became his wonderful master, and protagonist Ying Guichen became his dear friend. Rubbing his hands together, Song got started on his matchmaking mission: Song Lanting said to Lin Xuanqing, “Master, look at this painting! I painted one of the new disciples who joined the sect this year. Isn't he especially handsome?” “Wow, Ying Guichen is so clever. He grasps everything the moment he learns it, just like you, Master~” “Ying Guichen has such good character. He...” W-wait a minute! Why is Master putting me under house arrest? QAQ Song Lanting said to Ying Guichen, “Look, this is my master. Isn't he breathtakingly beautiful?” “Oh my god, you think that too? My master does as well. You two are sure to get along.” “You like that kind of thing too? So does my master. You two are so meant to be.” “I'll introduce you to my master sometime...” Wait, when did the protagonists' favorability toward each other drop to negative one thousand? O_o Blergh, please don't try to kill each other! Split One: Lin Xuanqing was born without the seven emotions and six desires. To repay the kindness of the person who raised him, he casually agreed to take a disciple. The boy was spoiled, timid, naive, kind, and a little odd... Clearly, he wouldn't live long, but Lin Xuanqing didn't care. Then, by some miracle, his disciple made him feel anticipation, joy, tenderness, jealousy... and even love. One day, the boy said mysteriously, “Master, I read your fortune. You'll spend the rest of your life with a man~” Lin Xuanqing studied him for a moment, but didn't deny it. Another day, Song Lanting took him to a wedding banquet. Partway through, he said, “The newlyweds look so happy. Having a Dao companion wouldn't be so bad, right, Master?” Lin Xuanqing understood the hint and fell into thought. Later, Lin Xuanqing discovered that Lanting had fallen for someone, and that someone wasn't him. Split Two: Ying Guichen was born of lowly origins. He knew he was a monster the heavens would never tolerate. No one had ever expected anything of him, and he was wary of the entire world. At first, seeing all the cultivation resources being delivered to his door, Ying Guichen thought the young master Song was just a naive fool who'd be easy to use. Song Lanting was so bright and lovely that he made Ying Guichen seem all the more unfit to stand in the light. Yet somehow, Ying Guichen was captivated by him and longed to be near him. Song Lanting was perfect in every way, except for one thing: why did he keep bringing up another man? #Three people, three different romance scripts. Can they still get a happy ending?# #Help, I don't want a love triangle! QAQ# #Surely I'm not the only scumbag in the world to fall for two people at once?# #Great, they became one person. Now I can take him home to meet my parents!# ❤️Extra scene: Song Lanting's lips were swollen, and his eyes glistened with tears of physical pleasure. He glared, his gaze both fierce and soft. “Weren't... weren't we just doing that during the day?” The handsome man stroked his face, his expression obsessive and infatuated. He murmured, “That wasn't with me, Lanting. You can't play favorites.” “??” Fine, fine. When you were coaxing me into dating you, you said you shared the same body and soul, but now you want two servings when it comes to the good stuff, huh! ❤️ [Please read before starting] 1. This is a mutually doting romance, with no angst in the relationship. Both leads are virgins, and there is no secondary couple. 2. The top isn't a good person. He just pretends to be one in front of the bottom. He's a severe hypocrite. Coming soon: Why Is That Protagonist Sneaking Around? [Extremely powerful, furtive, with a fear of running out of firepower, black-sesame-tangyuan bottom × Fluffy, loves snuggling his beloved, short-tempered but a hypocrite, demon king top] Everyone knows the roles transmigrators can get: protagonist, supporting character, villainous cannon fodder, or passerby. After working himself to death, Lin Fuguang transmigrated to the cultivation world with a top-tier spiritual root. He clasped his hands in prayer 🙏: A passerby! God of transmigration, please give me the role of a passerby! Lin Fuguang was taken into a great sect. After completing his studies, he counted on his fingers: After decades of hard cultivation, I'll return at sixty years old, just in time to lie flat! His ten-thousand-year-old master couldn't take it anymore and kicked the kid into the sky. “Get out there and train!” Out in the world, Lin Fuguang was furtive and kept changing his appearance. He used an ordinary face, dressed in drab clothes, and even stood at the back when watching the drama unfold. He was determined to stick to his passerby role. Unfortunately, he was unlucky and kept getting dragged into trouble for no reason. Luckily, he had strength and tricks to spare, and always managed to sweep away with spirit stones, magical artifacts, heavenly treasures, and Heaven-grade cultivation manuals... You've got to admit, making a killing by preying on other villains is a fast and satisfying way to build a retirement fund! Lin Fuguang only wanted to find the perfect place to lie flat. He planned to raise a cat and a dog someday... Wait, a wounded kitten? It can even slap a fish! It must not have any special bloodline if it's this useless, so... Guys, I have a cat now!! “Even if you're white, I'm not going to call you Snowy!” The demon king, stripped of all his cultivation and memories, meowed hungrily: Human, what are you babbling about? Hurry up and feed me! Lin Fuguang figured that his countless hours of reading would help him become an utterly ordinary passerby. But he'd overlooked one thing: in his previous life, he'd only read male power-fantasy novels and knew nothing about the tropes in danmei novels... Lin Fuguang and his kitten loved each other and snuggled together, until one day, the kitten turned into a hard, muscular man! Little Lin: O_o C-can I still keep you? What? You're the demon king? Go, go! A passerby like me can't afford to get mixed up with someone that powerful! Demon King: ?? Chu Yi is the only nine-tailed cat in the world. Each time he grows a tail, he faces a tribulation. This time, he lost all his cultivation and memories, and became an utterly unremarkable cat in the mortal world. After being bitten by a stray dog, he was lucky enough to be taken in by a human named Lin Fuguang. Lin Fuguang spoke gently to him and was a master at making cat food. He's a good person. Lin Fuguang's ordinary disguise concealed breathtaking beauty. He's beautiful. Lin Fuguang always ran into trouble, but resolved it in no time. He's clever and capable. Lin Fuguang liked to kiss him and rub against him. He loves me! After the short-tempered and arrogant demon king regained his memories, he was disgusted by the thought of his former self acting all cutesy to seduce a human. But... how could winning over his Dao companion be called seduction? That's true love! Lin Fuguang is the best person he's ever met. He doesn't want his money or power, just his body! What a simple, honest person! What? Not this body? Darling, why don't you give it a try first? #I know you shouldn't pick up men off the roadside, but I picked up a kitten! 0.0# Theme: True love never gives up, whether you stand at the top of the world or have fallen into the dust.