[Detective Conan] A Dating Sim with No Happy Ending

I'm an ordinary college student.

One day, while browsing □ Station, I came across a new game ad. It looked pretty interesting, and the pitch went something like this.

[Dear player, would you like to try a dating game with no HE endings?]

[Meet an upright police officer, a righteous detective, and a respectable villainous organization.]

[This game offers an incredible amount of freedom! Customize your face and randomly receive any identity you like: villain, detective, police officer, ordinary person, you name it. Pick your favorite~]

[Fine print: This game moves at a very fast pace, so there is no save-and-load feature. If you randomly get an identity you don't like, you'll have to see that route through to the end~ Please be advised~]

[All players are welcome to give it a try~ Contact customer service for details~ Mwah~]

[Helpful reminder: Wise people don't fall in love. We are not responsible for bad endings.]

[We hope you have a pleasant gaming experience~]

I gaped at the screen. What a gimmick! I'd never seen anything like it! In just a few seconds, it showed off all the game's features! The characters were ridiculously gorgeous! The game was ridiculously cocky! And that ridiculously sultry saxophone BGM!

I happily clicked to pre-register, then promptly forgot all about the game.

The next time I saw it was in a friend's QQ Space.

[Scotland, you sanctimonious bastard! You killed me!!! I specifically randomized into the distillery's organization so I could romance you! And it turns out you're a mole for the good guys!][Image.jpg]

[Do you know how many people I romanced for you! This stupid game has no save-and-load! You can only change identities after you die! Waaaaaaaaah, my Scotland! You died so horribly!][Image.jpg] x N

[The Rei Furuya fans are laughing at the Scotland fans losing their minds. My fave is different: each of his three personas comes with all kinds of knives, so one of us has to die, hahaha! The screenshots of my friends screaming about getting stabbed still don't add up to as many as the ones from Scotland's death. That pretty much sums up the players' reality.]

[I'm already on my way to stab the game's developers. I shouldn't have downloaded this stupid game out of curiosity. Honestly, I'm less upset about getting stabbed and more furious that this dumb game can even kill me physically. I'm so mad! All because I was out shopping and gave Gin an offhand