The Night Before Ascension (Matriarchal Society)

Everyone says that Shen Qianmiao, the illegitimate eldest son of the Shen clan, is the most rebellious man in the world. He cultivates the Heartless Path with fierce dedication, enduring countless tribulations and hardships and resorting to any means necessary, all to become the first man in the Nine Provinces to achieve immortality.

The story everyone loves to retell is how he married Mei Pengxue, the foolish young lady of the Biwen Sect's leader, in exchange for half the thousand-year-old spirit plants growing on Mist-Purple Mountain.

A hundred years have passed. Mei Pengxue has become the leader of the Biwen Sect, but he still hasn't achieved immortality. His temper has grown violent and erratic, and he has squandered the sect's wealth just to obtain a prescription for his headaches...

Ever since starting college, Mei Xue has kept having a strange dream.

In the dream, everyone floats around like ghosts, defying Newton's laws of physics. The scenery is breathtaking, and not a speck of dust touches anyone's robes.

Mei Xue is completely baffled. "...I mean, I'm a college girl. Why am I not having spicy dreams?"

One day, she enters the dream again and sees a crested ibis locked in a cage, about to be thrown into a giant cauldron over a blazing fire. Her instincts as an agricultural college student kick in, and she rushes over...

Mei Xue roars angrily, "You can't do this! This is a nationally protected animal! All of you, get out of my way!"

She shoves everyone aside and opens the cage first. The ibis grabs her wrist and carries her away in front of everyone.

The cool breeze rushing toward her feels so real that Mei Xue panics...

It turns out that an immortal lives inside the ibis, and she offers Mei Xue three wishes.

Mei Xue: "...All right. I want to go home."

But the ibis takes her to Mist-Purple Mountain, then eagerly asks for her second wish.

Mei Xue: "...Could I, maybe, get a cup of coffee to calm my nerves?"

The ibis flies with her for five days and five nights, to every corner of the Nine Provinces, until it finds her an Arabica coffee tree.

Mei Xue works at it for a whole month and finally gets to drink the coffee she's been craving. After finishing it, she decides to accept reality and make the best of her life.

But could someone tell her? Why has Shen Qianmiao, that spendthrift, run up a debt of a million spirit stones!!!!!

The night before he is to achieve immortality, Shen Qianmiao's eyes are red as poppies. In a hoarse voice, he asks her, "Don't you have anything you want to say to me?"

Mei Xue: "...Could you put your clothes on first?"

Mini-scene 1:

Shen Qianmiao, furious: "If you write me another divorce agreement, I'll go kill Boss Zhou!!!"

Mei Pengxue: "Tsk."

Mini-scene 2:

Shen Qianmiao, streaming with tears: "...That's why I have to become immortal, sob sob sob!"

Mei Pengxue: "I'm asleep. Do not disturb!"

Mini-scene 3:

Shen Qianmiao, completely serious: "Wife, I've cast a spell on you. If anyone tries to sleep with you, he'll bleed from all seven orifices. Remember to stay away from people like that."

Mei Pengxue: "Really? But you're bleeding..."

Reader tips:

1. The story may include the male and female leads insulting, fighting, and deceiving each other, among other potentially upsetting situations. Please stop reading if you find them uncomfortable.

2. I'm terrible at writing blurbs. The main plot is about opposing cults, with elements of transmigration through time and space.

3. If this story knocks you for a loop, don't blame me~

4. Happy ending

Theme: None