Why Do the Anime Films I Make Never Follow the Script?

The newly appointed god Qianteng Mo receives an assignment from his superiors: travel to different worlds and make movies to collect energy. He has to prepare everything himself, from the actors to the scripts.

Convinced he's an excellent judge of character, Qianteng Mo confidently accepts the task. He never expects that, while filming, the actors he picked will one by one stab him in the back without mercy.

[New script unlocked!]

[Welcome Conan Edogawa, who was once only 60 centimeters tall; Chuuya Nakahara, who'll be 160 centimeters for the rest of his life; and Gojo Satoru, whose legs are 190 centimeters long, to this script!]

Conan: ?

Nakahara: ?

Gojo Satoru: Pfft...

[Please name this script, Conan.]

Detective Conan's detective radar activates at once: Does naming the script mean simply giving it a title? Or...

[You have named this script: My Useless Long-Legged Father and Short-Statured Big Sister]

Conan: !!!

He hasn't even said anything yet! He's innocent!

Looking at his own height, still shorter than their legs, and the great writer already flying through the air and nearly losing it,

Conan hugs his soccer ball, weak, pitiful, and helpless: How is an ordinary person like me supposed to survive this?!

What should have been a heartwarming, everyday family comedy turns into a massive action movie full of mystery, detective work, horror, and escape-room survival, thanks to the actors going wild and their inherent traits.

There are all kinds of murders, ships, planes, and aircraft carriers getting blown up at the drop of a hat. And that soccer ball of yours that can score a headshot from 800 meters away is going too far!!!

The budget is burning every second. Some of you really need to reflect on your constitutions, okay?

[Small-Town Family Business Ethics: Dazai-ko, I'm your dad Gin. Send money!]

Dazai Osamu: :)

Now witness the genius strategist Dazai Osamu and Gin, the Black Organization's only hope, with his maxed-out combat skills, lead the whole village down the road to prosperity through entrepreneurship.

Wait! Don't fight! And be careful, making money through organized crime could get the show banned!

When that gun is pointed at Dazai Osamu's head, Gin coldly declares, "I never kill nobodies. State your name!"

After three seconds of silence, Dazai Osamu says, "I go by my name, and I sleep under my own roof. I am Mori Ougai, I love little girls. If you've got the guts, come run me over after we get out. Come on!"

Mori Ougai, watching all this: Have you no manners?

[Youthful, Passionate, and Courageous Dream-Chasing: Coach, We Want to Play Esports!]

Our reliable adults are about to take on a second career!

Let's welcome our team members: Gojo Satoru, Gintoki, Yato, Amuro Toru, and Reigen Arataka.

Facing teammates who are constantly disconnected and only intermittently reliable, the one and only consistently dependable member, Amuro Toru, says: Uh...

After filming the movie, the king of part-time jobs, who can do three jobs at once, declares: I can't. My stomach's about to flare up...

[Independent Woman's Growth and Business Showdown: The Widow Mahito and Her Creditor, Demon Slayer Tsugikuni Yoriichi]

Friendly reminder: Pay off your debts as soon as possible, or you'll be chopped into 1,800 pieces! If you die in the movie, you're really gone!

Mahito, who was just born and already wanted to cause trouble, but was taught a lesson by the pinnacle of combat power: ???

Mahito: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Bro, I was wrong. I love humanity, humanity loves me, we're all good friends~

Faced with movies that aren't exactly the same as the originals, but are completely unrelated, Qianteng Mo says: If this keeps up, even gods will go bald!!!

Theme: We're off to make movies!