The Emperor Just Wants to Lie Flat

In the Golden Age, there was only one emperor. At the emperor's side, there was only one knight. The knight was neither dashing nor charming. He was quiet and obedient, always wearing a black mask, like a little dog wagging its tail right behind the emperor. Some called him the Grim Reaper on a leash. Some called him the dark shadow of the Golden Age. Once, someone had knelt trembling before him, crying out: He came from the abyss. He was the only black dragon in the world. The knight ignored them. His dragon form was huge and cumbersome. He couldn't even bend down to get a pat on the head from the emperor. What was so good about that? He'd rather stay by the emperor's side and be her little dog. Apart from getting head pats from Her Majesty, the little dog had one other hobby: collecting shiny things. Shiny gold, shiny gemstones, and the shiny emperor. Her Majesty shone when she spoke. Her Majesty shone when she went to war. Her Majesty shone when she returned victorious. Her Majesty... "Hey." The knight blinked and came back to himself. Thousands of years after the Golden Age, in a room with the air conditioning on and a PS4 running, the emperor was sprawled on a chair in baggy shorts, legs apart, playing video games. She gave him a dead-eyed look. She said, "My hands are busy. Chips." Knight: "..." The knight opened a snack bag for Her Majesty and fed her chips, then bent down to take away the empty instant-noodle bowl she'd just finished. Her Majesty stayed sprawled in front of her giant monitor, gaming without moving. With a flick of her finger, she used a Moonlight Greatsword to smash a screenful of dogs to pieces. They said Her Majesty had spent the day before yesterday grinding away to conquer Ashina Castle, conquered Old Yharnam yesterday, and was conquering the Elden Ring today. The knight, whose only job was to hand over chips and soda, didn't really understand. But he thought, mm. Sure enough, Her Majesty was still shining today. Emperor: There's a kind of wood that's indestructible, diamond-hard, and so dense it could smash reinforced concrete. Even in the Big Bang, it would probably stay a piece of wood. Guess who it is. Knight: ? Emperor: ...Never mind. Feed me chips. My hands are busy. A slacker gamer girl who just wants to lie flat after conquering the world x the universe's number-one steel-headed, shiny-loving, adorably dense dragon Reader's guide: 1. This is a story inspired by an idea. Turn left at the prologue for the author's Chris Tode AU in the collection. 2. The author hasn't been able to log in to their Weibo for ages; the account is banned. Feel free to chat with the author in the comments~ 3. A lighthearted, silly slice-of-life story, with no angst, dramatic ups and downs, or turbulent love and hate. The romance is a slow burn. Just relax and enjoy it~ 4. Once it goes premium, updates will be daily and regular, but the exact update time isn't fixed, probably around midnight. Any changes will be announced in the comments~ Thanks to the lovely reader Mo Ran Fan Wu for making the cover for this novel~ Theme: Love buried in dust will eventually cross the boundaries of time.