The Birdman Star of the Half-Orcs

Finished reading ~ Yu Fei turned into a loyal dog and attacked... Please give me a sequel...

As long as Bi is happy, this article will be perfect. Although the ending is very hasty, although Yu Fei is designed to be very embarrassed, and District 13 has a different drink ring, as long as he is happy, it is enough~~

The author is a sadist. How can he still fall in love with such a person? He is also a masochist! You deserve to be abused like this. You don't value yourself, but you still want the scum to cherish you and have your sweet dream!

Have you watched Three Kingdoms recently? I was fascinated by the newly released ones. I was moved by the friendship between Liu, Guan and Zhang. I was able to renew the friendship after the separation. I envied Cao Cao's understanding of Guan Yu and asked for leisure. Intoxicated by the poignancy and beauty of Lu Bu and Diao Chan's love. There are a few other songs that are quite nice, such as Naruto's "Lonely", Peter Ho's "I Remember I Loved Before", and Zhang Liangying's "If This Is Love, Why Should We Be Together" by Zhang Jie. Wow, I am the God of Songs. I will be busy, but I will not forget to read your article.

Well, it's almost squeezed into a full-length novel. I ordered it to be a full-length novel~ Long Shaoyan, is this the first novel you have written? Have you ever written a novella?! Remember to fill in the hole when it is opened in the future, even if only one person reads it in the end, well, even you are the only one writing it - the various characters you depict are all your children, haha, they all appear in your notebook, and you have to give them a complete world. Now that it's over, here's some advice for the girl who loves Aiwen. The end of the article is a bit rushed, and many things are not explained clearly. (Did you forget what you said? Bi pretended not to know Yu Fei for the sake of the account book. This is not explained clearly. Why such a hurried ending? I guess, forget it.) Haha, it reminds me of Zhu Xian, Long Shaoyan, you must not imitate Xiao Ding and the third young master of the Tang family, they are not good people. Is your name used in the article? I don't know, but when a reader comes into contact with a new character, it usually takes a certain amount of time to digest him and put him in a position so that he can speculate on his character and the development of the story. This will make the reader feel integrated into the world you constructed. The reader will think, if I were his character, what would I do if something happened to me? It will increase the interest and readability of the article. Therefore, when a new character appears, it is best to spend one or two chapters or more intermittently introducing his background and what happened to him, except for passers-by and cannon fodder. As for the protagonist, in addition to romance, he should have business. Yu Fei is the boss, you said so, but why doesn't he go to ruin other people's business and expand his own territory? Well, maybe I said it a little too much, which means that readers will not recognize him very much, because what did he do to be the boss? It would be best if there are also some things about his career, so that you won't get tired of looking at it, which means you are tired of aesthetics. The author will also have more plots to write. From some career things, it can promote the relationship between him and Bi from the side, because if you just write about how he likes Bi, the readers will not recognize it. Why? Just because he is a beauty? Is it possible for a boss to be so hopeless? Will someone who only likes beautiful women become the boss? For you, I conquered the Palace of Hell, captured Long Shaoyan and Ye Sui, was not afraid of all pressures, overcame all difficulties, and swept the entire neighborhood just to see Bi Yixiao? No, he would fight without Bi, and even give up his own territory. The principle is the same, love him, laugh for him, what has he changed, what has he done that he doesn't bother to do? What if a boss sang a song to Bi and Bi was sick and took him to see a doctor? Does he have a younger brother? He doesn't even have friends. To understand a person, you start with friends, right? Haha, I feel like Yu Fei is a bit like domestic violence. The extra chapters are necessary, but the chapters appear a little late. I don't understand the world constructed by Long Shaoyan. Well, let's talk about Yu Fei's girlfriend. The first time she saw Bi was at the bar, and she immediately became jealous. She likes men, so her sexual orientation is wrong?! It's no longer Danmei. So she shouldn't be jealous, right? Her idea should be that they are friends, not lovers... Hmm. Did you want to portray the man in military boots as being in the military? But who in the army dares to wear military boots and come out as a thug? There are pickets who will keep an eye on them, and those who are disheveled will have to go in and have them corrected. . . Haha, what I mean is that it would be better to tell him who he had beaten so and so before and how he met Long Shaoyan. What is his origin? People in the army don't know martial arts. People in the army can't beat black boxers. Black boxers can't beat special forces. Special forces can't beat killers. Well, as for the mysterious figure, there are a lot of mysterious things. His background and even his current identity should be explained. I can't move around Long Shaoyan's neighborhood. Haha, maybe I'm a road addict. It's best to mention it at the beginning, and then from time to time in the article, I will explain how many districts this place is divided into, as well as the battles between the districts, the main characters, their relationships, and the friction between the districts. As for the article, there should be an outline first, and then the author can slowly fill in the details. What I want to say is the ending. Shaoyan, don't change the outline because of others. You are outstanding. Stick to your ideas and write to the end. Also, it is best not to edit the article, as it will give people a sense of unreality. Most readers will think this way, I have read it, that means it happened, and you have changed it, which does not respect me or the article. I would like to make some suggestions. If you can correct some minor issues that need to be fixed in the subsequent plot development, don't change the original text easily. There are many good things about writing. If any kind of writing wants to be unconventional, it must have its own subject matter, its own rules, and its own system. You did a great job, from the beginning to the writing, between the lines, the naughty author has something to say... I can see your love for literature from your writing. You will add your own wishes, ideals and past regrets to the text. You are writing the text with your own heart. In one sentence, I like your writing. Girls who love love, I hope you will change it if you have it, or encourage you if you don't. Ha, I haven't been so happy for a long time, seeing you finish your first novel. Long Shaoyan, you must have a sense of accomplishment... . . Well, congratulations on writing your first novel.

Depend on! Is this the end? Are you kidding me?! Although this is HE, but. . . But. . . It can't end like this, right? Flip the table!!! Extra extra extra extra! Write quickly! Get the extra!!!!!!

I just didn't go home for two weeks, it's over like this…⊙⊙~~ By the way, what about using a pull ring as a ring? ~Just lost the 13th District like this? Hey Then watch the extra episode~

This comment is waiting for review by the administrator and has been automatically blocked by the system. It will be displayed after passing the review!

This won't end

(⊙O⊙)Wow... I didn't expect that Master Long would end without any warning... Hehe~~~The final ending is good, not bad... Let's spread the flowers!!!!