HP Girl, Let Me Tease You

This story is about a tomboy with the attitude of a roguish seme who accidentally transmigrates into the eldest daughter of the Black family. Seriously, are all the so-called pure-blood nobles living with just one huge Gryffindor dog? Hey! Oh... there's also Kreacher, a house-elf who acts like a fussy housekeeper, and a very easy-to-tease, submissive Chosen One.

Professor Snape is practically a shining example of fatherly love, Aunt Narcissa is secretly obsessed with changing outfits, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is Tom. None of that is surprising anymore. But why the heck is he such a schemer?! The real Chosen One isn't Harry, that little submissive, it's Dumbledore, Dumbledore!

Why am I hearing this version where Grindelwald made Horcruxes, killed Harry's parents, killed my dad, drove Neville's parents mad, and was finally defeated by his old flame, Dumbledore?

Aaaah, Tom, you're framing me!

At least I still have adorable (?) Draco to comfort my wounded heart. A prickly, tsundere uke is the best [covers face]

[Draco!]

[What?]

[Kiss!]

[You kissed me again!]

[Didn't you want me to do that?]

[Who would want that?!]

[Come on, don't be shy~]

[I'm not shy!]

[Your face is all red~!]

[*...&%...&%...￥%￥%#] (I'm mad, that's all!)

[So Draco doesn't like me...]

[= =]

[I've been imagining things all along.]

[Hey...]

[Maybe I'll go find Harry instead. He confessed to me the day before yesterday.]

[You're not allowed!]

[Why not?]

[No reason. Just don't!]

[Say you like me.]

[No.]

[Then I'll go find Harry.]

[...]

[Goodbye.]

[...I like you.]

[Hey, babe, come let me tease you!] (Tilts her chin up)

[Let go!] (Slaps his hand away)

[Harry...]

[What do you want?] (grits his teeth)

[=v=] (Rises on tiptoe and gives him a fleeting kiss)

[The man is supposed to make the first move!]

[Mm... Draco, you've learned some bad habits...]

-----+=_= A loving and harmonious divider =_+-----

Karina: Listen up, everyone. I've been wanting to say this to you for a long time!

[TO: Dumbledore] Grandpa Dumbledore, you're so nice to Tom. He's your illegitimate son, isn't he? Come on!

[TO: Snape] Professor, please stop using your sharp tongue to express your love. It's too much for me to bear TAT

[TO: Little Tom] Don't think I haven't noticed that you've had a crush on little Harry for ages!

[TO: Harry] There, there. Even though you've lost the promising career of being the Chosen One, you're still quite good as a little uke!

[TO: The Twins] Forbidden love between brothers is so sweet!

[TO: Draco] Hey, babe, come let me tease you!

[TO: Sirius] The revolution isn't over yet, so keep at it, puppy. The professor has a thing for virgins, I swear I'm not saying this so you can pounce on him right away XD!

By now, you should understand that this story is pure parody. It doesn't follow the original plot and turns everything on its head, so read at your own risk.

P.S. This is a collaboration between Mo Fei and someone unknown and unnamed (Mo Fei: Peach, did you really have to pick such a confusing pen name? = =) (Peach, summoned: I didn't mean to! I was going to say 'known but unnamed,' but I'm really not known...~)

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