Raising a Wimpy Little Husband

This novel is complete. The first two volumes of the Great Qi farming series are also complete. Visit the author's page to read them.

Blurb:

As someone who transmigrated, Wei Xiaohua may be only five years old, but that does nothing to diminish her lofty ambitions.

The goals of escaping poverty in three years and achieving moderate prosperity in five aren't worthy of her status.

Later, she brings two even younger burdens along and does everything she can to find someone to take them in. That's when she meets Liu Boyan, who must be coaxed, pampered, and treated with respect.

But...

The rich young master and heaven's favored son, Liu Boyan, gets trampled under her feet again and again!

Wei Xiaohua becomes Liu Boyan's study companion. She beats people and scolds the tutor, teaching you in no time what it feels like to be worse than her at both studying and fighting!

Liu Boyan holds his bloody teeth in his palm and wails at the sky. His teeth have been knocked out...

Wei Xiaohua becomes the chief steward of the Liu household. Liu Boyan often wakes in terror in the middle of the night. Don't ask why. The answer is that he's having nightmares about Old Tiger Wei beating him in all sorts of ways!

Wei Xiaohua frowns at the person in front of her. Seeing this, Liu Boyan strikes the most timid pose and says the fiercest words: "I've already had my fifteenth birthday. You can't hit me in the face anymore." After a moment, he adds emphatically, "And no pulling down my pants to hit me, either."

Later, Liu Boyan, eyes red and looking timid, hands over his arithmetic homework. "Sister Wei, help me with this. I don't know how to do this problem, either."

Wei Xiaohua, who is several months younger than him, wants to flee in the middle of the night. What should she do? The Liu family's only heir has been raised into a weakling by her!!!!!

One day, a sudden downpour lashes the banana leaves, while candlelight flickers and casts red peonies in the shadows. Old Tiger Wei turns into Lazyfish Wei: "I admit it. I'm done pretending. I'm the real weakling."

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Volume Two of the Great Qi True Men series, I, a Prince, Am Forced to Pretend to Be Poor and Pitiful, is complete.

After spending ten years in the harem in constant fear (and carefree luxury), Xiao Zhuoyu has wished upon every star and moon, and finally gets to leave the capital at age ten to travel and study.

He's rubbing his hands together, ready to go. This time, he's going to make a fortune and come home with pockets full of money.

As the emperor's youngest son, born to a palace consort, Xiao Zhuoyu has dreamed since childhood of becoming a carefree, wealthy prince with no responsibilities. When he was younger, he relied on his cuteness and shameless pleas to pry gold, silver, and jewels from his royal family's powerful backers and build up his little treasury.

Now he's almost twelve, a young man already. It's time to support himself and make his little treasury even fuller. In another couple of years, once he leaves the palace and establishes his own residence, the only thing keeping him from becoming a carefree, wealthy prince will be money.

As a rather favored member of the imperial family, Xiao Zhuoyu has a high opinion of himself. He believes no one before him has been so capable, nor will anyone after him.

He doesn't covet power. He only loves money, and only money he earns through honest means. How upright and proper of him!

Yet despite being so upright and proper, his father and eldest brother don't appreciate him at all. They keep taking advantage of him.

In the Imperial Study, Emperor Taikang strokes a sheet of paper whose edges have already begun to fray, lowers his eyes in thought, and after a long while lets out a sigh. "This is a grand undertaking, but without money in the treasury, the country can hardly take a step forward."

Beside him, his fine eldest son, Crown Prince Xiao Zhuosheng, lightly touches the jade ornament at his waist and smiles warmly as he offers to relieve his father's worries. "Father, I've heard that Fifth Brother has quite a bit of spare money in his little treasury. Why not borrow it for now and pay him back once the treasury is full again?"

Emperor Taikang looks up at the Crown Prince. The Crown Prince really has some nerve, reaching for Little Five's purse. But father and son are of one mind. Laughing heartily, he pats the Crown Prince on the shoulder.

"Ha ha ha! Good, good. Excellent idea. You can handle it. I'm sure there won't be any problem."

When his youngest son returns to the capital, he won't come after him to settle accounts. The eldest son suggested it and handled everything himself. It has absolutely nothing to do with him. Ahahaha, excellent, excellent.

Before long, Xiao Zhuoyu receives a letter from the capital: "The bank drafts have been cashed. We'll pay you back someday."

(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

Xiao Zhuoyu's blood surges, his eyes nearly splitting with rage. He roars at the sky, "You dare touch my little treasury? Just you wait."

He vows to rush back to the capital and protect his little treasury.

During his travels and studies, Xiao Zhuoyu works hard toward his little goal.

Before he can even get started, he receives a letter from Emperor Taikang. It says: Little Five, your father can't keep going, but he can't bear to give up! I'm afraid your eldest brother won't be able to protect you all, and so on and so forth...

The whole letter is full of emotional appeals. Xiao Zhuoyu finishes reading and replies through tears: Father, I have some savings with that fat fellow Fan. Take my letter and withdraw it.

His tears fall onto the paper and blur the ink. He's crying from heartbreak over his own loss. Another stash of savings is gone. o(╥﹏╥)o

Just as business starts to pick up, money comes in to cover expenses. Before he can even tally the new earnings, a letter arrives from the Crown Prince. It reads: Fifth Brother, when are you coming home? Father thinks of you day and night and longs for your return. He's wasting away from pining for you and can't sleep through the night. I miss you, too. I hope you come back soon.

Xiao Zhuoyu collapses into his chair in tears. His big brother doesn't miss him at all. He misses the money that just came in. That's the hard-earned money he made by staying up all night and losing his hair!

Years later, Xiao Zhuoyu can no longer remember the dream he had when he was young and ignorant. But everyone in the capital knows that Prince Shende doesn't like gold or silver. He only likes paper money for the dead.

Prince Shende himself, Xiao Zhuoyu...

Damn it, I only like paper money for the dead because I was forced into it. Take a look: there are three or five chests of it piled up in my residence's treasury, and nobody touches it.

Besides, if I suddenly drop dead one day, they can burn it for me as is. I'll take it with me and bribe the King of Hell to give me a good next life.

Everyone, take my advice: before you transmigrate, keep your eyes open. Never choose a royal family with a national treasury.

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Coming soon: My Scheming Husband. Please add it to your collection.

Liu Zijin has known since birth that her parents are no ordinary people.

What makes them so unusual?

Just look at her mother's skin, smooth as cream, and her delicate, willow-like figure, or her father's imposing bearing and handsome, pine-like appearance.

Yet this pair of celestial beings live in Great Willow Bay, one keeping house and the other serving as a tutor.

With parents so unconventional, of course their one and only daughter must follow in their footsteps.

When the time comes for her to marry, she sets her sights on Chen Dongyu, the most famous old bachelor in all the surrounding villages.

Overnight, she becomes the peony everyone nearby knows about, planted in a pile of cow dung.

And that's not all. Less than ten days after her wedding, she has to observe mourning, earning herself a reputation for being ill-fated and bringing death to her family.

In the eyes of her truly wealthy peony-flower cousins, Liu Zijin is brainless and has terrible taste, throwing herself at a peasant from the village.

Only Liu Zijin knows how comfortable married life really is.

On their wedding night, her husband hands over control of the household finances. She has a generous dowry and never has to worry about money. Her parents-in-law take her side. She can sleep in a separate room from her husband without hiding it from anyone. When she feels like it, she makes pastries and gets praised to no end. When she feels lazy, she sleeps until the sun is high, and no one bothers her.

When word gets around the village that the Chen family has married a lazy wife, her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are the first to rush over and curse the gossipers.

Life is just too comfortable.

Of course, even a comfortable life has its troubles. Her clumsy, honest husband suddenly seems like a different person after they marry. The usually thrifty Chen Dongyu never seems to have enough pocket money.

And in her bedroom, a flowerpot appears one day, and a pair of earrings shows up in her makeup box the next.

Liu Zijin sees Chen Dongyu holding out his hand for money. She turns around, digs out the box containing the household funds, finds five coins, and hands them over. "Starting now, your daily pocket money is reduced to five coins."

Chen Dongyu isn't happy and grumbles, "What can you do with five coins? It isn't even enough to buy you a bowl of sweet soup and pastries."

Her peach-shaped eyes flash like knives, and he immediately falls silent. He tries to placate her. "My lady, my lady, your husband was wrong."

Liu Zijin: "Speak properly."

Chen Dongyu: "My lady works so hard managing the household. Let me rub your shoulders."

From then on, he gives her gifts once a month, and never the same thing twice.

She watches with her own eyes as, after his pocket money is cut, Chen Dongyu's gifts to her gradually upgrade from wooden hairpins and wildflowers to a top scholar's wife title and a first-rank noblewoman's title.

Chen Dongyu has someone hidden in his heart. Because of the difference in their family circumstances, he has never brought it up. He keeps putting off marriage until at last he becomes an old bachelor.

His grandmother clings to life just to see him get married, and the whole family blames him for being unfilial. Irritated, Chen Dongyu goes out for a stroll.

That stroll leads to a marriage proposal.

After they marry, he accidentally learns that his wife doesn't like him at all. She only married in haste to avoid an arranged marriage.

He doesn't show it on his face, but inside he's enormously relieved. He must be lucky, or else, among all the eligible young men in Great Willow Bay, why would his wife have chosen him?

Then comes an overwhelming sense of crisis. Every day, he lives in fear that his wife will suddenly ask for a divorce and leave him.

From then on, Chen Dongyu has three daily worries: What surprise should I give my wife today? Has she fallen for me even a little today? Has her desire to divorce me weakened even a little today?

Reading guide:

1. A farming novel about a transmigrated woman who wants to raise someone, only to discover that she's the one being raised.

2. A sweet ancient-style romance about a taciturn, secretly lovesick male lead who gets to marry the woman he loves.

3. The female lead falls in love after marriage, while the male lead's secret crush becomes requited.

Theme: Live earnestly, and don't let time pass you by!