[Crossover] What's Going On Here?

As one of the rare time-space investigators to successfully survive into retirement, a corporate drone known as Agent 007, I chose to erase all memories covered by confidentiality agreements, seal away every supernatural ability I'd learned, and live out various ordinary retirements in different worlds as an "ordinary person."

No more fighting and killing, nine-to-five shifts, or scheming. No more trembling with anxiety as I risked my life for a measly performance bonus. I would finally live a carefree life as an ordinary human.

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I thought my new life would be as peaceful as I'd imagined, but I'd overlooked one thing: how could a fictional, two-dimensional world ever be peaceful?

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Until I realized that my good friend from the orphanage seemed to have superpowers, and the parents who adopted her were a little strange too.

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Until my childhood friend suddenly confessed successfully and speedily married into his in-laws' family. After not seeing him for a few days, he was a hundred times more agile. Whenever I asked, he mumbled that he was exercising, then asked me to help keep it a secret.

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Until a good colleague who usually worked on boats with me suddenly disappeared. After searching everywhere, I found out he'd gone to the demon realm.

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Until I received an admission letter from Hope's Peak, and my good seatmate said, "What a coincidence, I got one too. Let's go enroll together."

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Until I realized my good neighbor, who lived right next door, had suddenly grown two extra eyes and a mouth on his face, and eagerly asked if I wanted to transfer schools with him.

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Until I realized my good friend, who usually went with me to pick up trash at the village entrance, had suddenly grown a pull cord on his chest and been lured away by a strange, wicked woman.

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Until I was sleeping soundly when justice suddenly fell from the sky in the form of an explosion for unknown reasons. Everything within a hundred miles, including my house, was blown into a giant crater. The culprit apologized, said he'd take responsibility, and wanted to be my friend for life.

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Until I was happily experiencing the life of a death-row inmate, when someone suddenly grabbed me by the braid and dragged me to an island to search for a miracle cure. By chance, I ran into an old acquaintance I hadn't seen in years.

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...And so on.

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That's when I realized: Oh no, it seems I can't live an ordinary person's life after all.

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#The protagonist is chaotic neutral, looks normal but is actually a goofy nutcase(?)#

#A little wish fulfillment, but I'll try to keep it moderate. I don't want this kid to suffer too much, after all (this time I want to be a real mom)#

Theme: Goofiness