Hello author, your work is very interesting and I like it very much! However, there are still some shortcomings that can be seen in the work. I would like to raise some questions and suggestions on this:
1. The hostess said the perspective is unclear
In the first chapter, the perspective is "first person" but in the next two chapters it is not clear whether it is "one or three". You can change it to confirm.
2. The protagonist of the character's speech is unclear
There is more than one question. You can add some information and actions of the characters after or before the words.
Such as:. . . (Adjective) say
. . . (? Details of actions or mood) said
3. Transition
There is no or inappropriate transition when it should occur in the work
4. Character information
The description of the character's appearance does not appear at the right time or is too deliberate.
The character's personality is not obvious and too focused (bushi
5. Paragraphs are incomplete
In the scene where Xia Li and Wei Wei are in the playground, there is an incomplete description of the environment. It shows that the author's writing is good, but incomplete sentences will not resonate with people very much. I hope it can be improved!
Generally speaking, Dada's work is quite good. From the article, it seems that he has just started writing novels. There are only a few problems, but the character descriptions are vivid and the plot is clever. I hope the author Dada will get better and better on this writing road!
Hello author, your work is very interesting and I like it very much! However, there are still some shortcomings that can be seen in the work. I would like to raise some questions and suggestions on this: 1. The hostess said the perspective is unclear In the first chapter, the perspective is "first person" but in the next two chapters it is not clear whether it is "one or three". You can change it to confirm. 2. The protagonist of the character's speech is unclear There is more than one question. You can add some information and actions of the characters after or before the words. Such as:. . . (Adjective) say . . . (? Details of actions or mood) said 3. Transition There is no or inappropriate transition when it should occur in the work 4. Character information The description of the character's appearance does not appear at the right time or is too deliberate. The character's personality is not obvious and too focused (bushi 5. Paragraphs are incomplete In the scene where Xia Li and Wei Wei are in the playground, there is an incomplete description of the environment. It shows that the author's writing is good, but incomplete sentences will not resonate with people very much. I hope it can be improved! Generally speaking, Dada's work is quite good. From the article, it seems that he has just started writing novels. There are only a few problems, but the character descriptions are vivid and the plot is clever. I hope the author Dada will get better and better on this writing road!