[Jujutsu Kaisen] How to Stop My Best Friend from Becoming My Sister-in-Law

A nobody from one of the Gojo branch families fathered a son with another man's wife when he was young. His legitimate wife just found out, and now she's making a huge scene, turning the whole branch family upside down.

The Gojo clan head, Satoru Gojo: Excitedly watching the drama unfold.

The clan head's best friend, Suguru Geto: Watching the drama together.

This marital spat has been a chaotic, drawn-out mess. The cheating man, who has a bad leg, even went to Satoru Gojo and begged him to protect his poor illegitimate son, who was ten months older than he was and had been left to fend for himself.

Satoru Gojo: Pauses the drama.

Suguru Geto: Double the drama.

The acting clan head, who considers himself kindhearted (?), introduces the poor illegitimate son to Tokyo Jujutsu High. At least that way, the wife can't send someone to stab him to death.

It was a good deed, but no one expected it to be like letting a wolf into the house.

Mamiya Akira (gazing at Suguru Geto with deep affection): There he is! My first love! My sun!

O Sole mio! (in Pavarotti's high register)

Satoru Gojo (shocked): The melon has dropped.

Suguru Geto (unfazed): Keeps watching the drama.

Satoru Gojo: I respect all sexual orientations, but Suguru Geto becoming my sister-in-law really won't do.

Mamiya Akira: Why not? Could it be that you secretly have a crush on him too?

Suguru Geto (watching the show): Oh?

Satoru Gojo: If you're gay, that's your business. Don't drag Geto into it.

Mamiya Akira (rebellious): I'm going to defy everyone named Gojo. If you want to stop me, then you'd better become Mamiya Satoru.

Satoru Gojo: ...I guess that's not impossible.

Nothing beats dumplings, so I'll become my own sister-in-law.

A few warnings:

Suguru Geto survives in this story. The male lead and Brain do the heavy lifting for his rebellion arc.

The male lead's personality and appearance change significantly over the course of the story. He's a snarky comic-relief character at first, then goes completely off the rails later.

The first half is about dumb, childish schoolboys and an awkward, innocent romance.

The second half is about a domineering adult in a maximally messy, melodramatic push-and-pull romance.

This story includes most of the popular classic melodramatic tropes. If you're worried about encountering a particular trigger, feel free to ask in the comments or send me a private message (*???).

This story contains an enormous number of original elements and wild antics.

Theme: Fall in love properly, and don't cause trouble.