How the Little Evil God Conquered the World

How to Conquer the World

Step One.

Reveal the Evil God's super-scary body to intimidate the ignorant little ants!

Step Two.

Utter indescribable, evil mutterings to confuse the foolish little ants!

Step Three.

Now you can lie back and enjoy the little ants' services. You can do whatever you want!

A Tuo closed the book, looking serious.

It had made up its mind! It would set off to conquer the world ahead of schedule!

Two-hundred-year-old A Tuo, convinced it was all grown up, set off in high spirits.

The book left on the table had a cover with several large words plainly written on it: Evil God Primer: Children's Edition

After countless hardships, A Tuo finally made it to a new world.

A Tuo revealed its fearsome body and let loose indescribable, unhearable mutterings.

"Meow~"

A Tuo: "?"

The cat was confused.

--Scene 2--

"A new great demon has arrived at the Bureau of Nonhuman Creature Management!"

"What, what? A phoenix returned to its ancestral form? A dragon?"

"No! I heard it's a cat!"

"Huh?!"

"They say its fur is super soft and smooth, and it's so beautiful and adorable you can't take your eyes off it. Its meow is sweet and darling, too! And what's more!!"

"What's more?"

"If you beg it on your knees and offer tribute, like food, toys, or whatever, then declare that it's your master, it'll let you pet it!"

"What an amazing deal!! I'm going right now!!!!"

"Wait, I forgot to say, the queue's already up to number 888. Sigh..." The speaker spread their hands, looked at the ticket in their hand marked "No. 446," and smiled like a lovestruck fool.

"Hehe, kitty, pretty kitty, hehe."

--Scene 3--

"I heard they've already handed out six-digit ticket numbers?" A large hand expertly petted the little Evil God, who purred in utter contentment.

"So what?" The little Evil God had been pampered into comfort, and spoke with righteous confidence. "I want them all conquered beneath my paws!"

"I have a suggestion."

"Meow?"

"Marry me. I'll make sure the whole world gets to see you. How does that sound?"

The little Evil God opened its eyes wide. What a great deal!

"Okay! But you can't go back on your word!"

"Then let's start by getting familiar with what engaged couples need to do."

With a poof, the little Evil God appeared in human form before him. A pair of large hands grabbed it by the waist and carried it back to the room.

--A Few Things to Know--

1. The little Evil God is born with a charm, intelligence-lowering, confusion buff (its effect is weaker on powerful creatures). How could an ordinary biped possibly resist a kitty with maxed-out charm~

2. It's only an assumed form, and it can transform.

3. There's nothing a meow can't solve. If there is, then meow twice! (Not really.)

4. The little Evil God won't get petted bald. It's picky, too!

Theme: Everyone has a kind heart