"An'an, I want you. From the first time I saw you, I have wanted you, I only want you, before, at this moment, and in the future."
"Shen Lie, I want you. From the fourth time I saw you, I have wanted you, only you, before, at this moment, and in the future."
It's not that he never stopped himself from getting closer, nor that he didn't have the opportunity to tell her the truth, nor that he didn't take action and give everything he had in exchange for freedom. He even thought for a time that he could bury his past quietly, and when he turned around, he would be a clean Shen Lie, a Shen Lie that could completely belong to her.
Purpose: Adult love requires independence, bravery, determination, and being each other's comrades.