That's Right, I Have Cheat Powers

Question: What should you do if you transmigrate into an emperor? How's the experience? Asking online, kind of urgent.

Tang Heming: Thanks for asking. It's an ancient world with nonhumans. I just ascended the throne, and there are two assassins on the roof, three under the bed, and even the eunuch outside the door is an assassin!

But I absolutely refuse to die, because I've got cheats!

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The proper blurb.

Tang Heming transmigrates into the body of a sickly royal relative who's barely alive, and also gets bound to a System called "Emperor Training 1.0."

She gains a stat-raising System and seems destined to rise to the top in no time.

However, an error message soon appears: "Dear Ms. Tang, you are the wrong binding target. You were bound ten years too early. After discussing this with headquarters, the System has decided to give you a choice."

"1. Restore your identity as a woman and switch to the Palace Intrigue System."

"2. Cancel the binding, return to the modern world, and erase these memories."

Tang Heming: An obtuse angle.

Who'd choose anything else when you can be emperor?

Oh, she also needs a compensation gift package.

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The new emperor takes the throne. The benefits are:

Previously, the ministers worked six days before getting a day off. They got up earlier than the chickens, went to bed later than the dogs, and had only two holidays: the emperor's birthday and the New Year.

Afterward, the ministers work five days and get two days off. Whether there's a morning audience depends on the emperor's mood, and they get their holidays on time. Back then, there was no making up for missed workdays.

The downside: they have to clock in and produce documents in a standard format.

Everything is standardized, from document formatting to font size, and no one can skip the daily, weekly, monthly, or annual reports.

The threat of being cut for poor performance is always right behind them.

Oh, and the Imperial Academy also has final papers and practical coursework. Anyone short on credits gets held back.

The ministers and officials: "Who came up with this?!"

Tang Heming smiles faintly, hiding her accomplishments.

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A small border kingdom comes to congratulate the Emperor of Liang on her birthday. In reality, it has brought dozens of assassins, all intending to sneak into the palace and take the Emperor of Liang's life.

But before they can act, the dog emperor sitting up front has already vomited three pints of blood, and the distinguished censors of Liang stand up: "We condemn this! We strongly condemn this!"

The prince of the small kingdom: stunned.jpg

What the hell, who did this? This is a setup!

That night, Tang Heming lies in bed, looking at the list in her hands. "This one, this one, and this one. They're all traitors. Kill them all!"

"The prince of that small kingdom seems decent. Capture him and bring him to the palace."

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Many years later, the Empress of Liang has unified the realm. The former kings of the small kingdoms are kept in the capital, and all their sons and daughters are sent to the palace to curry favor with Her Majesty.

Asked what they think of the Empress unifying the realm, the former rulers weep bitterly: "She's poison, I tell you!"

In response, the Empress's new official historian says, "Our Empress is noble and upright. These are all slander!"

"If you want the real story, read the official national novels: My Years as an Empress, The Former Regent's Secret Love Affairs, and The Former Chancellor's Bottom Literature."

"What? Making things up? Slander! Pure slander!!"

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1. An utterly ordinary heroine. She's not the best at anything, but she's second-best at everything.

2. Still a heart-stealer.

Theme: Life is hard, so don't make it harder