The Heavenly Road

Updates are all clouds and clouds~~

I'm sorry, the critical moment is gone, this,,,,,,, Too boring

I'm really embarrassed to be the overlord. Okay, I admit that I am a bad person, come out and make a fuss

Dizzy, you have the code to prevent right-clicking, but I can't post it at all. . . I wrote it in WORD~~

I clicked on "The Road to Heaven" late at night and saw Yan Fei smiling at Su Su and saying, "I am your husband." To be honest, for a moment, I was moved. We will always be touched by some casual words at a certain time, so no matter what happens later, we must first say thank you to the author. Get rid of the gorgeous and pretentious sadness that I am used to seeing, and restore the most unpretentious feelings. He smiled at the tip of her nose and spoke to her softly. There is a prequel before "The Road to Heaven", and the author said that you don't have to read it, so I started directly from this article, which doesn't have much relevance. After reading it once, I circled the screenshots and made a lot of notes in case I forget them when writing a review. Most of the comments are based on self-excerpts, which may be biased due to being out of context, but they are all my opinions. If there is any confusion or misunderstanding, I hope the author will not hesitate to enlighten me. Let's talk about people first As we all know, novels have three elements-character, environment, and plot. Characters in novels are called typical characters, and "mixing various types into one" is a common technique. They are different from real people in life. They often originate from life and are higher than life. They are universally representative. Due to the special way in which they exist, online novels have lowered their requirements in many aspects, resulting in many characters in the novel being mixed and not distinct enough. The following is an analysis of the parts that appear in this article. ◎Susu◎ As the heroine of this article, Susu deserves a lot of space. However, after I read it over and over again and saw countless young talents fighting for her, I couldn't help but wonder, what does she rely on? Alluring looks? Good. Even though the author didn't use the vulgar phrase "the fish sinks and the wild goose closes in the moon to shame the flower" like many people I have seen, it is not difficult to see Susu's stunning beauty based on the behavior of every man after seeing her. Since ancient times, men have valued sex over affection, so it is not difficult to imagine those so-called princes and generals behaving like this. However, let me ask, those who dare to compete for fame and fortune on the battlefield without fear of life and death will lose their souls just because of three points of color? Otherwise! Since appearance is untenable, what is the character of the mind? It can be seen that the author prefers simplicity and kindness in the setting of amnesia Su Su. However, in my opinion, it seems to be only on the surface. Let's talk about simplicity first. Su Su's performance in the article can indeed be called these two words, even a little too much. Just imagine, as a person who has lost his memory, the pursuit of the past should be instinctive. However, after the first chapter, "The back of her head feels cold, but when she thinks about the past, it hurts fiercely, and she can't think of anything, so she has to give up." She has never taken the initiative to explore again, and she seems to be satisfied with the present. I haven't read the prequel, so I can only speculate on Su Su's character before she lost her memory. However, from the single incident of seeking revenge on Yan Fei for Twelve, it is not difficult to see that she is a very friendly and responsible woman. Amnesia may make people no longer hateful, but the nature deep down in their bones cannot be wiped out. It would be easier to say if this was the case in the previous article. Otherwise, we may still need to figure it out here. Speaking of kindness, this has almost become a trait shared by many female protagonists. I don't have much to say about it. Just to cite a certain sentence in Chapter 3, it says that after Miss Yi killed Gui Si, "Susu leaned her head on Yan Fei and couldn't bear to look at it anymore." For Su Su, who could only describe it with a blank sheet of paper at this time, seeing a person die in front of him and just tilting his head to look at it seemed too thin. Could it be that her kindness is just that she can't bear to watch the death of a wicked person? The author even spared no words to describe her inner struggles at this time, which gave her a bit of "hypocrisy". It is recommended that the author try to figure out more and give specific behavioral expressions to the character's traits. Third-person writing is actually suitable for multi-faceted psychological description. When the behavior is difficult to express, it is actually a good way to use the character's heart and environment. ◎Yan Fei◎ First of all, let me ask a question. In the first few chapters of the article, the author replaced Yan Fei with "Yan Fei" many times. I don't know whether it was a typo or deliberate. If it is a clerical error, it would be better to correct it, because when I read this, I had a misunderstanding about whether there was a third person, and I believe the author does not want such an error to occur. My initial impression of Yan Fei came from his appearance. He was said to be charming and handsome, with a pair of red and phoenix eyes that are particularly attractive. The author has already done this by giving him a head start. For those of us who like evil men, this male protagonist is indeed very attractive. However, the more I read to the end, the more I feel like, does this man only have looks? Of course not, he has peerless martial arts. Although there are constraints everywhere, it is a fact that he has martial arts skills. Although what I often see is that he uses his supreme light kung fu to secretly come back to see his drunk lady, or uses three points of his strength to seriously injure others when his subordinates concealed Su Su's affairs and did not report it. Still, the fact cannot be concealed. To be honest, the setting of peerless martial arts combined with stunning beauty is a bit outrageous, but if the author uses it appropriately, it can still be eye-catching. But there are no other qualities besides the simple setting, which makes it hard to like. Yan Fei is affectionate? Yes, you can see his attachment to Su Su between the lines, but when a man comes to this world, can the word love be included in one word? Even though he is so deeply in love, is it appropriate for an emperor to only care about a woman when everything has not yet been handed over? I love men to be affectionate, but Yan Fei acted too much, which made him look petty, and not as ruthless as the author calls "regicide to seize the throne". What made me dumbfounded even more was that in Chapter 23, Yan Fei went crazy because he thought Su Su was remembering the past because of the sentence "pull your hair" in the letter. I was already quite helpless about his comment that pulling back his hair was equivalent to reminiscing about the past, but when it happened again, I really didn't know how to react. The author is reminded here that inappropriate feelings are what a man is all about. When it is, this man is basically hard to fall in love with. ◎Supporting Role◎ Let's talk about Miss Yi. As the heroine's good sister, she appears a lot in the article, and it can be seen that she is a strong, independent and kind-hearted woman. However, some details in the article may be due to the author's inappropriate choice of words, which makes her seem less pure. The initial impression came from the four scenes of her personally killing ghosts. To be honest, this was a bit false. I initially thought she was an ordinary daughter from an ordinary family, and it was normal for her to be panicked when facing bandits. However, once the enemy is restrained, he will kill a person with one knife without hesitation, so neatly that even the executioner would be ashamed. Is it true? Perhaps the murder of her father can be used to explain her angry actions at that time. Then where was the panic and fear she must have had afterwards? No, she continued to grieve over the betrayal of her father's deceased relatives, and panicked about whether she was marrying someone wrong. If the author had put himself in his own shoes, he would not have made such mistakes. Therefore, a very important aspect of writing is substitution. If you can't feel the truth yourself, how can you let readers feel it? I hope the author can give some thought to this. Speaking of Fuyou, this person doesn't appear much. I don't want to say anything about image creation, but I want to remind the author of another mistake he made. That is, when you write each character, you don't think about giving him a certain fixed personality. Instead, you have the feeling that people change with circumstances. In Chapter 15, Fuyou didn't know what he said that made Yan Fei furious and couldn't stop kowtowing. He immediately "smiled" after the other party apologized. Fuyou is quite old, so he shouldn't be "smiling" anymore. Even if he is old-hearted, he clearly does not have this trait as described in the article, and he only shows loyalty. Therefore, every time you write about someone, please first think about what kind of person I want her/him to be. Once you understand it before writing, you won't make such avoidable mistakes. Let's talk about things Things in novels generally revolve around characters, which are the main aspects of character expression. In order to make the things in a novel attractive, it needs to be reasonable on the basis of imagination and not divorced from life. ◎Things match people◎ Here I mainly mention the kneeling plot in Chapter 4. The first person to kneel down was Yi Zhijiang. Her father had recently died. Because of Yan Fei's help, she was able to kill her enemy. There was nothing wrong with kneeling down out of gratitude. The second person to kneel down was Yan Fei. He was grateful to Miss Yi for giving him a place to stay, so he "knelt down when he put down the tea cup." Sigh! I really want to ask directly, is such a small matter worth kneeling down? Where is the identity of the savior? Even if you don't take it as your own, it's not a big deal if someone else solves the housing problem, right? Do you need to kneel down solemnly? ! Okay, maybe it is polite to keep the grudges between old friends clear, but may I ask, who is Yan Fei? The emperor of Tianlong! Master Tiandi Jun, he is ranked third, it is his limit to not let others kneel to him, but he bends his knees so easily? The answer is of course no. So here, the author, you really need to think carefully. ◎Details should be appropriate◎ The detailed question has been a question that the teacher has been obsessed with since we started learning to write articles. The so-called detailed writing refers to the specific narration and description of the main materials that can directly express the central meaning, and the writing is relatively full; the so-called abbreviation refers to the use of less writing and summary description of the materials that are related to the expression of the central meaning but not directly expressive of the central meaning. In the subject matter of the novel, the detailed requirements are not as detailed as other issues, but they are still indispensable. However, in the text, the author often spends too much pen and ink writing things that are not very important. Chapter 10 is about Yan Fei going to learn martial arts in a cottage in order not to reveal that he knows martial arts (I think this plot is too far-fetched), and then a third of the chapter is about Li Hongtian venting his anger because of the failed robbery last time. Touch forehead. Who is Li Hongtian? Cannon fodder. What is the role of cannon fodder? The tall and powerful character that sets off the protagonist promotes the development of the plot. Is it necessary to specifically describe his angry and heroic figure and the fact that after setbacks, he becomes more and more disgusted with the protagonist? No, no need to. All he needs is a very simple summary. He is cannon fodder, not a supporting actor, nor a male protagonist, and is not worth spending so much time on. Forgive me for being a little over-emotional! ◎Pay attention to the context◎ In the fourth chapter, Susu and Miss Yi went out to buy jewelry, and met Mr. Gu, who said something about "cutting off love". To be honest, at that time I went back to see where this hero came from. Unsuccessful. In Chapter 16, Su Su refused Prince Qiao's invitation, saying that her husband was protected by experts and there was no need to bother. I was just wondering why Susu's receptivity was so good. After all, Yan Fei had always acted very ordinary and popular. Wouldn't she be surprised and suspicious when so many "my husband's men" suddenly appeared? This is just human nature. Therefore, certain plots cannot be omitted, otherwise the context will be out of touch, which will make people confused for a while, or the entire plot will be difficult to connect and will be completely scrapped. Therefore, on the basis of detailed omissions, some parts that cannot be omitted are regarded as general, connecting the context and making a natural transition is a good solution. Finally, let's talk about the details As the saying goes: "The subtleties reveal clues." Certain details may seem insignificant at the time, but may be the most important in hindsight. Therefore, the author is advised not to be too dismissive of these aspects. One said self-proclaimed. To be honest, every time I see Yan Fei calling himself "husband" or "husband", I feel deeply uncomfortable, as if he is deliberately using this word to deepen Su Su's stress reaction. This may be regarded as Yan Fei's selfish intention, but it is really incongruous for him to call himself this way every time he talks to Su Su. For example, Chapter 14, "Would you like to play some music for your husband? My husband has something to deal with. You are here waiting for my husband to come back." I don't know how the author felt when he read it. When I read this, besides being deliberate, it was deliberate. Then there is Susu's self-identification. Please allow me to excerpt some information from the Internet: Elderly women humbly call themselves - "Old Body"; humbly call their husbands - "clumsy husband"; princesses and queens call themselves in front of the emperor - "concubine"; princesses and queens call themselves in front of courtiers - "my palace"; widowed empresses call themselves - "Aijia"; folk women call themselves - "little girl", "people's daughter"; women humbly call themselves - "the beauty of a plum tree". It is conceivable that married women generally call themselves "civilian women", and of course it is okay to call them "civilian women". These names are naturally not as nice as Susu, but they are true. Calling yourself Susu is frivolous, so it is only appropriate to use it on people who are close to you. The second is modification. There is a sentence in the first chapter: "Su Su glanced briefly and saw the glistening water in Yan Fei's eyes, burning her beauty." Baidu's interpretation of "Zhuo Zhuo Qi Hua" is "flowers blooming as brilliantly as red clouds", which can be extended to people, but how does it harmonize with the "glittering water" in the previous article. There are countless such seemingly gorgeous and beautiful modifications in the article, but some of them are inevitably too heavy, which loses the purity washed away by the lead. I hope the author will not fall into such misunderstandings. Third, let's talk about writing. The general writing style of this article is close to the way modern people speak, but some sentences are tinged with ancient dialects. For example, "Yan Fei said nothing, but the hand holding Su Su tightened tighter and tighter. It was like she had dispersed into a wisp of smoke, and would drift away no matter how much she stayed." If this is the style of the whole article, I will not comment. However, the article clearly contains a lot of current words, and the sudden use of the sentence pattern of "floating away" is an excessive pursuit of ancient meaning, which is self-defeating. Another example is, "If I am seven feet tall, can I just eat vegetarian food?" Does the word "dignified seven feet" used here have anything to do with "vegetarian"? I won't list all of them one by one. I just hope that the author will first clarify what his own style is when writing. This does not mean that the ancient sayings are necessarily beautiful. Modern linguistics is flexible and the artistic conception is elegant and natural. The review is now complete. Although there are many comments, please believe that I did not mean to do so. I know that the author wants to seek progress, so I do my best to help. Maybe it is inevitable that some people will speak in different ways, but every word is from the bottom of my heart. I hope the author will not be unhappy with my blunt remarks. Finally, I give it to the author with the horoscope "Too much is too much, and things will turn to the extreme". I hope it will be helpful to you and write more good works. Long mouth commentator: Qingyao has a drink

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Sprinkle the flowers first, then look carefully and taste them carefully

Nan Er, (*^__^*) hee hee...

I realized that I also had love for Nan Er, so I crawled away silently

Spread the flowers first, take a closer look when you have time, haha