[Western Crossover] A Wish-Granting Machine Decides to Go on Strike

[Slowly filling in the plot holes]

Agatha Green inherited a general store from a relative. The shop doesn't sell goods, but wishes.

A look at the popular review site shows that if star ratings could go negative, the number after the minus sign would be bigger than Agatha's net worth.

Customer A: One-star review. I wished to lose five pounds, and then I lost my head.

Shopkeeper's reply: Hello, dear! We gave you three pounds for free. Are you unhappy with that?

Agatha looked it up and found that a human head usually weighs around seven to eight pounds.

Customer B: One-star review. I wished to become rich overnight. The money arrived the next morning, but the denomination was a bit off.

Shopkeeper's reply: Hello, dear! You didn't specify the currency, so our little shop chose the best-selling one.

Agatha glanced at the customer's photo. It said “Bank of the Underworld.”

Agatha was at her wit's end. Whoever wants this lousy shop can have it!

But then she saw the penalty for closing down, and decided she could manage after all.

To improve the shop's rating, Agatha decided to take some unconventional measures.

[Strategy One: Find the customer before they find you.]

A grieving customer had lost his son.

Agatha: Hello, dear! Were you looking for this rebellious eldest son, this rebellious second son, this not-so-rebellious third son, or this rebellious fourth son?

A certain Bat: ...

[Strategy Two: Create repeat customers, or sell one wish twice.]

A fanatical environmentalist: I want plants to cover all of Gotham!

The next day, amid a sea of greenery, other Gothamites made their own wishes: ...Make everything normal again, please.

Agatha: See? The cycle just keeps turning!

[Strategy Three: Reduce negative reviews as much as possible.]

A customer whose name cannot be revealed: “I'm reporting you! I want to leave you a terrible review!!!”

Agatha: “Bang. Bang.”

If customers don't get a chance to leave bad reviews, there won't be any bad reviews.

[Strategy Four: If there's no demand, create some.]

People have wishes because they have regrets.

Some people have lives that are too perfect. Let's create a few regrets for them.

Agatha rubbed her hands together as she looked at the villains.

Later, Agatha was classified as a dangerous individual by the superhero organization and marked as the number-one enemy by the supervillain organization.

Agatha: ...Obviously, I'm just an ordinary small-business owner.

Reader's guide:

* A crossover with many series, including but not limited to superhero stories.

* The heroine enjoys stirring up trouble for fun.

* Contains original worldbuilding and a heavily altered timeline.

* The author is a compulsive reviser.

* Pairing undecided. The exact version is still to be determined; it may not be the main universe version and could be from a parallel universe.

Next up: [DC and Marvel] Stop Your Antisocial Behavior!

The Keeper said they'd written a new, untested scenario called “Doomed in Arkham.”

Investigator A: That title sounds ominous.

Investigator B: Feels like we're all going to die.

Keeper: So, are you in or not? If not, I'll find someone else to play.

Investigator A: I'm in.

Investigator B: I'm in.

Investigator C: Count me in! I definitely won't flake!

And then the citizens of Gotham experienced...

A bunch of vile outsiders teaming up to rob the GCPD armory;

Mercenaries hired by a senator enchanting passersby every day;

A detective who was supposed to investigate a murder repeatedly trying to pickpocket Gotham's vigilantes;

A good Samaritan helping stop an Arkham breakout, while taking every opportunity to spread the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the Joker.

Dark Knight: ...Get out of my Gotham. Now.

Theme: Humanity's happiness is up to us to achieve.