The Little King of Hell Goes Viral Livestreaming with Ghosts [Metaphysics]

[Complete] Blurb: Coming soon, The Monster Kindergarten Qi Wuxian is three years old this year, and the newly appointed Little King of Hell. But the underworld has been in decline for a thousand years. It is backward and poor, and cannot even afford her baby formula. - Later, the hungry Little King of Hell is hastily bundled up by the gods and ghosts and sent to a reality show for kids in the human world, together with the cold-faced, handsomest Judge. They have only two goals: earn money and learn how to develop the underworld. The Little King of Hell and the Judge look at each other in dismay. The Judge suppresses his temper and puts a little backpack on her. “From now on, we’ll each call things as we see them. I’ll call you Your Majesty, and you can call me Dad. How does that sound, Your Majesty?” The Little King of Hell hugs her baby bottle. “Okay, Daddy Judge.” But the gods and ghosts never imagined that the more gorgeous these two were, the worse they’d be at playing to the cameras. On the other livestreams, the shows feature cozy family life. Here, the Judge is taciturn. He just carries the Little King of Hell up to the shrine and burns incense for her. While the other children show off all kinds of talents, the Little King of Hell is always talking to herself, saying she bounced out of a crack in a rock. The Little King of Hell spends all day wanting to fly and walk through walls. When she meets someone who wants to end their life, she flips through the Book of Life and Death and earnestly reasons with them: “Dying is really bad. I’ll tell you a secret: the underworld is so poor that even the King of Hell can’t afford milk!” [???] [This is kind of absurd, but also so cute. What do I do?] The gods and ghosts, once they learn the truth: “...We’re doomed sooner or later.” To everyone’s surprise, this father and daughter become a huge hit in the human world. They help solve cases, grant ghosts their wishes, and bring boundless merit to the underworld, saving it from ruin. [The little one is so healing. Whenever I see Qi Wuxian, all the stress from work just melts away.] [They really dug up an ancient general’s tomb where the little one said it would be!] [My great-grandma, who’s been dead for years, came to me in a dream and said everyone in the underworld is scrambling for the King of Hell’s autograph. What am I supposed to do with that?] [I have a special connection. I saw staff from the Office of Special Incident Management treating the little one with great respect.] [I printed out Qi Wuxian’s ad photo. Am I supposed to hang it on the shrine and worship it?] Meanwhile, the restless ghosts of the underworld are pacified, and its level of development rises rapidly. Electricity and internet reach the underworld, and a reemployment program gets underway. The ghosts lining up to be reborn no longer have to jostle beneath the bridge of the River of Forgetfulness. They can even watch the Little King of Hell’s livestream every day! Author’s note: This story has tons and tons of invented lore, so don’t overthink it. It’s just a story. I hope you enjoy reading! (The little one has no romance plot; the romance is Dad’s. The CP is the last two characters listed in the character section. It’s an alternate-universe setting with lots of made-up details. Sending hearts.) Coming soon: After I Transmigrated into a Book as the Head of a Monster Kindergarten Xiao Ba transmigrates into a book and becomes the head of a kindergarten deep in the mountains. Looking at the mist-shrouded mountains and muddy mountain paths, Xiao Ba nearly blacks out. On the first day on the job, the children line up obediently outside the kindergarten. Every one of them is bright-eyed and adorable, even prettier than the child stars on TV. Xiao Ba takes a critical hit but grits her teeth and vows to help the children leave the mountains! She’ll make sure they eat their fill, stay warm, and see a wider world! Then one of the children’s parents comes to see her with their child. “Director, our kid went to the Fierce Monster class, and came back with their tail practically plucked bald. Could you move them to the Little Monster class?” Xiao Ba: “???” The child turns around and reveals their plucked-bare tail. Xiao Ba nearly blacks out again. Looking more closely, she sees that the little ones at the kindergarten have horns growing from their heads, tails sticking out behind them, and fluffy ears as they run around... Xiao Ba: “...So transmigrating into a book really isn’t easy. The veterans weren’t lying.” Xiao Ba keeps working diligently. To meet the children’s enormous appetites, she follows others’ example and starts livestreaming to earn money: “Monster Kindergarten.” Curious viewers click in and are instantly charmed by the little monsters’ ears and tails. [Those ears and tails look so real! Where can I buy them? Is there a link?] Xiao Ba: Quick! Let’s escape poverty and get rich by making merch! [I can’t believe this little rabbit spirit doesn’t like carrots!] Baby Rabbit: We rabbits really don’t like carrots! [That little tiger spirit is such a scaredy-cat. The contrast is adorable.] Baby Tiger: But that peacock is really scary! Countless viewers tip money in hopes of finding out where the kindergarten is, but no one can track it down. The Monster Kindergarten livestream goes viral, and Xiao Ba becomes the most popular kindergarten director on the entire internet. During yet another livestream, viewers spot a handsome man with a tall, slender build, wearing a pink apron and a hat. [Who’s that? Stay away from my wife!] Xiao Ba calmly says, “He’s one of our preschool teachers.” Before she can finish speaking, the children take off the man’s hat, revealing two long ears. [Holy crap! The kindergarten actually hired a teacher like that? Where’s the decency? Where’s the address? And where can I get in touch?] [Aaaah, those long ears are hitting a certain kink of mine. I won’t say whose!] The man walks over to Xiao Ba with his hat in hand, leans down, and says in a low, slightly wounded voice, “The hat you bought me is broken.” Theme: Warmth, healing, and unity