Notice: This story covers Manchester United from the 2021-22 season onward. The club's current state has me feeling a little overwhelmed, and I've run out of inspiration.
I won't start this story until I've finished the other one. I'll wait and see how the new manager does, and think about whether I can still write it.
Blurb:
Portuguese egg tarts: soft, sweet, and delicious!
A. The first time De Gea met Phil, it was in the restroom at a comic convention.
Back when he was still innocent, he watched in horror as a scrawny "girl" cosplaying as his goddess, Hinata Hyuga, followed him into the men's room and, without hesitation, hiked up her skirt...
B. The second time De Gea met Phil was during a match between the esports team he owned and a Portuguese team.
That Portuguese boy with long hair and a head of hair dyed bright green was by far the flashiest player in the tournament. He was like a god of slaughter, cutting down his opponents left and right and making the young lads on De Gea's team cry for their mothers...
C. The third time De Gea met Phil, the boy had grown into a tall young man. His green hair had turned black, and he walked into the dressing room behind the head coach, looking shy as a new signing in the winter transfer window.
While everyone whispered that the Red Devils were about to welcome a little lamb, De Gea remained silent.
Sure enough, as soon as the head coach left, the "little lamb" showed his true colors.
In a heavily Portuguese-accented English, he brazenly taunted the entire Manchester United dressing room, acting like a total troublemaker.
D. Looking at his future teammate, who would soon stand in front of him as part of Manchester United's defense, De Gea clutched his aching liver in anguish and silently felt sorry for himself.
Was he really going to have to bear all this alone?
**
Impatient Phil: Hey, you big Spanish idiot, quit being so dramatic. The coaches at our academy praised me as a defensive powerhouse who could become Portugal's new Pepe. Could you stop looking at me like you're terrified?
Devastated Dave: Pepe??? So you're good at picking up cards and getting booked???
De Gea had completely forgotten that Pepe was more than just a mad monk. When he kept his cool, he was an impenetrable defensive wall.
And Phil was the perfect partner sent by heaven to stand before him, one who would help him keep clean sheets in the years to come.
Please note:
1. Manchester United's goalkeeper De Gea x Portuguese egg tart Filipe, nicknamed Phil
2. De Gea's girlfriend will get butterfly-ed away. Sorry, miss!
3. Phil may not be the steady type and can be a little unpredictable, but during matches he becomes an unexpectedly reliable defensive wall.
I said I'd give Dave a defensive wall, and I keep my word. Here he is!
4. I'll start this one after finishing the other story.
Theme: I'd give anything for the game.
