1. My name is Nakahara Haruno, but actually, it should be "Nakahara and Haruno Combined, No. 001."
I also have a nickname, given to me by Dazai. He calls me Little Monkey because I have a monkey tail.
My tail is great, really strong, and it hurts when I whip people with it.
I like the nickname, too. Monkeys are so cute, after all. Who doesn't like monkeys?
That is, until I accidentally transmigrated to a parallel world and discovered that my friend had grown up to become a monkey-hater.
I don't care what you meant by it. I'm correcting you!
2. My name is Geto Suguru. I'm an honorary member of the Monkey Protection Society. Ever since I joined, I've been feeling more energetic and less chuunibyou, and I'm working hard to become its president. (Don't ask. I was forced into it.)
Because I love monkeys more than anything. (Sneaks a glance at Haruno.)
Every week I visit the monkey enclosure at the zoo. After Haruno eats all the bananas in front of the monkeys, I pick her up and run away.
This is so hard. I hate monkeys.
Haruno: Glaring
Geto Suguru: I love them! I really do!
Reporter: Um, Mr. Geto, are you all right? If you've been kidnapped, just blink!
Nakahara Haruno's ability is [Monkey]. She's on the verge of surpassing the ability user limit, but once a month, on a random day, her ability goes out of control. She transforms into a 50-meter-tall giant mountain gorilla and goes on a rampage, smashing everything around her.
(Haruno: I'll say it again: it's a monkey, not a gorilla. It's a monkey no matter how tall it gets. Gorillas don't have tails, okay?!)
In the five months after Dazai Osamu eloped with his best friend, she took turns demolishing Yokohama's five landmark buildings. The leader, whose finances were in the red, and a certain older brother, whose wallet was drained, sent her to Tokyo Jujutsu High.
The leader: Go cause trouble for someone else! Wipe out the jujutsu world and then come back!
The older brother: I did everything I could! I even stole and used Verlaine's card! If she demolishes anything one more time, we'll go bankrupt!
Years later, Haruno returns to Yokohama. Not only has she completed her mission with flying colors, she's also brought back a special-grade jujutsu sorcerer.
The leader: There's a deal like that?
The older brother: @#￥%…&… It's all that mackerel's fault! If he hadn't run away, there'd have been someone to suppress Haruno's ability. Then she wouldn't have gone to Tokyo Jujutsu High, wouldn't have met that smiling fox, and wouldn't have gotten married @#￥%…&…
In the dead of night, when all was quiet, a 50-meter-tall figure rose up from a campus hidden in the wilderness, held in place by several thick iron chains.
As a shrill alarm rang across the school and a huge roar shook the air, Gojo Satoru dropped his controller, cursing as he leaped out the window. Geto Suguru, who had just returned from a mission, bolted. Yaga Masamichi grabbed him in one swift motion, while the school doctor, still working overtime in the infirmary, took one look out the window at the night sky that had just begun to darken and calmly lowered his head to keep working.
What a wonderful day... not!
Theme: Monkeys really are adorable
[Rolling eyes] Hand over the full text quickly! Otherwise I'll report it to the well 🐰