As Earth's environment deteriorates, humanity relocates to Pangu Star. Though the planet seems to have no advanced life forms, the ruins of an ancient civilization are discovered there. How did this ancient civilization disappear? Or is a more advanced civilization manipulating everything? As humanity explores the unknown civilization, it also seeks the power to transform itself. This power comes from both reality and the virtual world. The power of reality can control the virtual world, but can the virtual world control reality in turn?
Theme: Taking control of oneself
Oh, right! There's another very important and basic point: first, second, and third person perspectives each have their own advantages and disadvantages. For example, first person is convenient for describing inner thoughts, while third person provides an omniscient viewpoint, allowing you to write about things the protagonist is unaware of. The author uses third person, yet describes a lot of inner thoughts; isn't that inappropriate? Furthermore, the punctuation used for inner thoughts is exactly the same as the punctuation used for dialogue; that doesn't make sense either.
Although I've written a lot, I don't feel like I've made much progress. I haven't read much of it, just the first chapter of my previous completed book seemed odd, so I wanted to see if the second book would be the same. And it's pretty much the same. There's a lot of dialogue, and a lot of it is just "So-and-so said...". The only difference from the previous book is that it repeated "A said... B said..." Several times in a row, while this one at least had some adjectives like "loudly." But this is a novel, not a play. Isn't there too much dialogue? Is this kind of dialogue writing appropriate? Dialogue written like this in a novel makes it very boring to read. If you want to improve, you should read more of how other people write.