[Genshin Impact] Alhaitham's Godly Wife

[Check out my friend's amazing Genshin Impact fic by Meisuisui: I Have 101 Rumored Love Interests. Lumine x Anemo Boy, so good!]

[New upcoming story: The Wanderer's Own Kitty. Blurb at the very bottom!]

On Nahida's orders, Alhaitham sets out to retrieve a forbidden book lost by the Akademiya.

But he accidentally breaks the seal on the book,

releasing an ancient demon god imprisoned inside,

and somehow ends up bound to her by an unbreakable marriage contract.

His once peaceful life turns into utter chaos.

The demon god takes over his bedroom and his bed,

and even his favorite places to take a break are no refuge from her clutches.

She constantly teases and torments him.

If that were all, he could handle it.

But then...

First, the Tsaritsa of Snezhnaya repeatedly sends Harbingers to his house to "invite" the demon god to Snezhnaya.

The demon god declares, "She must be after my good looks."

Next, Zhongli, a consultant at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in Liyue, shows up at his door,

demanding to "catch up" with the demon god.

The demon god complains, "I only snipped off a tiny bit of his dragon horn back then. He's so vindictive."

Then a giant blue dragon snatches him off the street and takes him to Mondstadt.

A boy in a green cape smiles at him and says,

"Sorry. Hetalian took something of mine. Could you help me get it back?"

When Alhaitham sees Hetalian again, he finally loses his patience.

"Have you had a falling-out with any other gods? Please tell me everything at once."

"I don't think so?"

Hetalian tilts her head and thinks it over.

"I'm on pretty good terms with all of them."

Later, when the shrine maiden of Inazuma sees her, she is so terrified that she takes a boat home in the middle of the night.

Fontaine's Chief Justice warns his own god to stay away from Hetalian.

And as for Natlan, they never went there.

Because as soon as Natlan's god heard the rumors, he put both their names on a blacklist of people forbidden to enter the country.

Alhaitham says, "I can't believe I trusted you."

Hetalian giggles. "Don't worry. Nahida and I really haven't done anything to each other."

But when he turns around, Alhaitham sees a whole room full of Aranara in her secret hideaway...

Grandmother, if I want to live a peaceful life, I'll have to kill a god.

[Genshin Impact] The Wanderer's Own Kitty

**

Yan Li is a divine beast who has lived in Jueyun Karst for a hundred years.

But the Lord of Geo always says that the Adepti have spoiled her, and she needs to go out and see the world.

So the Lord of Geo personally takes her to visit the gods of neighboring nations.

"Please take good care of her."

The God of Wisdom, who isn't even as tall as she is, solemnly agrees and thoughtfully finds her a playmate.

Yan Li likes her playmate, a boy called Hat Guy, very much.

He's good-looking, speaks nicely, and can do anything.

When she's frightened into her true form, Big Brother Hat Guy helps her teach the crocodiles a lesson.

Though when he does, he accidentally steps on his own tail and calls her a giant caterpillar.

When she's soaked by the rain, Big Brother Hat Guy uses the wind to dry her off.

Though he uses a little too much force, and she loses a lot of fur.

When she misses home, Big Brother Hat Guy makes delicious hometown dishes for her.

Though he always says he can't cook, doesn't want to cook, and won't cook, and scares her by saying that if she eats too many sweets, all her teeth will fall out.

And so much more.

All in all, Big Brother Hat Guy is the best playmate. She wants to stay with him forever.

**

That day, the Little Lord Kusanali inexplicably foisted a girl student on him.

She told him to take good care of her and be each other's playmates.

The Wanderer, who had spent a hundred years adrift in the mortal world, needed a playmate least of all, and was the least suited to be one.

That was what the boy thought.

He also thought she would feel the same way.

Until one day, he accidentally saw a stack of letters she was preparing to send home.

"Brother Xiao, Big Brother Hat Guy made me almond tofu today. It was even better than the one at Wangshu Inn! I'll bring him home for Lantern Rite, and have him make you some."

"Sister Ganyu, I've been shedding a lot lately. Big Brother Hat Guy says it's because I don't go to sleep at night. Make sure you go to bed on time, Sister Ganyu!"

"Little Shenhe, have you made any new friends in Liyue Harbor? I made a good friend in Sumeru. He's not human, but a very kind and very beautiful puppet. I'll bring him home for Lantern Rite, and I'm sure you two can be friends too."

"Madame Ping, how have you been? Big Brother Hat Guy says he doesn't have a home. Could you build him the most beautiful home for me?"

"Auntie Liuyun, how have you been? Big Brother Hat Guy flew me up into the sky last time, and I saw Mt. Aocang. I miss you."

"Daddy Morax, I miss you so much. Big Brother Hat Guy really liked the bamboo shoots you sent last time. Could you send some more? Big Brother Hat Guy's birthday is coming up too, and I want to get him a present, but I'm running out of Mora. Also, Big Brother Hat Guy is coming home with me for Lantern Rite. Can we set off a few more fireworks in Jueyun Karst this year? ..."

Home...

The boy carefully put the letters away, his expression complicated.

Who said I'm going home with you? Hmph, don't flatter yourself.

Theme: As heaven's movement is ever vigorous, so must a gentleman ceaselessly strive for self-improvement.