Name: CPs Can Be Niche, But They Can't Be Weird [Esports]
Author: Liang Ci

Synopsis

[New novel: Mr. Huo Is as Helpless as a Dog. Visit my profile to save it!]

On the eve of the twelfth season of the survival competition game Lost Wilds, the wealthy SAG team made a high-profile announcement that they had successfully signed Jiang Song, the league's top-tier star newcomer, on a two-year contract.

At the same time, Xia Qinghuan, a homegrown SAG player hailed as the last ace of the Chinese division, suddenly announced he was taking an indefinite break from competition.

Some speculated that Xia Qinghuan had quit because Jiang Song joined SAG. After all, rumors had long claimed that the two were at each other's throats. Nobody knew why, but it was probably related to Jiang Song's many past misdeeds in Lost Wilds.

*

As two nationally renowned players in the esports scene, Jiang Song and Xia Qinghuan are completely different, both in personality and playstyle.

Xia Qinghuan is cool and restrained. His consistently calm, rational manner has led countless esports fans to think of him as an emotionless damage-dealing machine: loyal and dependable, but without a hint of warmth.

Jiang Song, by contrast, is the most despicable cross-dressing scammer on the Asian server. His hobby is pretending to be a girl and acting all cute, begging big brothers to carry him, then leaving them speechless and red-faced when he shows off his skills.

His specialty is easily evading the in-game pursuit of the "Online Dating Scam Victims' Alliance." His finest moment was seizing an opportunity during a thrilling escape to wipe out the opposing team, escalating the conflict in one fell swoop.

His hidden talent is that he once foolishly tried to scam Xia Qinghuan, only to get beaten until he was black and blue and scrambling away. He thereby earned his first ever loss in his online scamming career.

So why exactly are they so at odds? The answer is obvious, but each of them has a reason they would rather not bring up.

-

Although Xia Qinghuan left the team midway through the season, Jiang Song's dominance in the league was no fluke. After leading SAG to victory in the Mid-Season Invitational all by himself, he was photographed by a reporter at Xia Qinghuan's home.

"I did what I promised you. So now you'll come back, right?" Jiang Song looked at Xia Qinghuan with a determined gaze and a sincere tone, no longer acting as careless and nonchalant as usual. "Come back, bro. I can't relax when you're not here."

"There are so many people out there. Why do you have to cling to me?" Xia Qinghuan gave him a sidelong look. "I'm not coming back."

"No." Jiang Song moved closer, a clumsy innocence showing in his eyes. "I don't want anyone else. I only want you."

"Bro, I'm begging you."

"Come back... please."

Hearing this, Xia Qinghuan lowered his eyes and nodded. Though his tone was still cool and languid, he finally relented a little. "I'll go back, but you have to agree to one condition."

"Name it. If you'll come back, I'll agree to anything."

[Weibo Headlines, several days later]

[SAG's top assassin Jiang Song makes first appearance after winning the championship. Cross-dressing livestream sparks controversy, heartfelt performance of "The Best Thing a Woman Can Do Is Act Cute" is all emotion and no technique]

[Acting cute is the best thing a woman can do. Jiang Song's singing can kill]

[Hey, Jiang, I'll give you 200 yuan. Just say you're from the neighboring EUK division]

[He sings pretty well, but it hurts to listen]

[You sang well. Don't sing again]

[Well, you assassin players sure do hit hard]

[Have SAG's assassins finally mastered the art of killing in one move?]

-

Much later, the media suddenly reported that Jiang Song's cross-dressing livestream that night had no other purpose. He'd sacrificed every last shred of dignity just to make Xia Qinghuan smile, just like King You of Zhou lighting beacon fires to amuse his favorite consort.

The netizens were once again beside themselves.

[He's so genuine, I'm crying]

[Is this tea legit?]

[No way. These two seem like they'd spit at each other even if they just crossed paths]

[I'd sooner believe Lin Daiyu and Megatron were sworn brothers than believe Jiang Song and Xia Qinghuan have something going on]

[Ships can be niche, but they can't be that bizarre]

[Didn't people say Xia and Jiang had a terrible relationship, and Xia resented Jiang for taking his place?]

[Have you ever seen someone hold a grudge like that? Their eyes are practically making strings]

[So he's holding such a grudge he wants to take him to bed? They'll fight it out eight hundred times to work out their resentment, right? I can't even.]

The two members of the bizarre Happy Together ship, sitting side by side on the bed with their arms around each other as they lurked online: "? How did they know?"

Happy ending, alternate universe, sweet mutual-pampering romance. Competition + everyday life (but I really love writing romance, and I'll write a lot of it, so forgive me).

-------Coming soon: My Love Rival Keeps Crossing the Line. Blurb--------

Chi Xu has always thought that the fact he and Huo Zhiyun managed to stay friends for twenty-seven years was an oddity worthy of being recorded in the history of humankind.

In elementary school, Chi Xu picked a bunch of wildflowers from the Huo family garden to give to Huo Zhiyun. Huo Zhiyun played a trick on him, claiming the flowers had been painstakingly grown by the family gardener and were magical roses. Now that Chi Xu had picked them, he'd been cursed and would have to stay at the Huo house as Huo Zhiyun's wife for the rest of his life, never allowed to leave. Chi Xu was so scared he sat on the ground and cried for half an hour. Afterwards, Huo Zhiyun barely escaped getting beaten to death by his father.

After graduating from high school, Huo Zhiyun mysteriously told Chi Xu he had a very precious graduation gift for him and that he had to treasure it. Chi Xu believed him, so he'll never forget the helpless, horrified expressions on his parents' faces when he pulled a flying masturbation cup out of the gift box Huo Zhiyun had given him, right in front of them.

During summer break at university, Huo Zhiyun said he'd take Chi Xu on a road trip. Just as Chi Xu naively thought Huo Zhiyun had finally done something decent, Huo Zhiyun grinned and told him halfway there that he'd actually signed Chi Xu up for the local edition of The Boys and Girls Are Coming Through. During the three-hour drive, Chi Xu insulted Huo Zhiyun in every conceivable way for two and a half hours. In the end, he even made Huo Zhiyun compete in his place and win a refrigerator.

Now, after all these years, Huo Zhiyun's pranks are clearly still going strong.

Otherwise, there was no explaining why the Huo family had chosen the very day of Chi Xu's birthday to demand that Huo Zhiyun and Lou Mian appear as a couple at this grand reception.

Chi Xu had been in love with Lou Mian since he was ten, for a full eighteen years. During those eighteen years, Huo Zhiyun had been vanishing and reappearing, who knew how busy he was trying to charm some girl from some family.

So what made Huo Zhiyun think he was worthy of dating Lou Mian?

At the reception, Chi Xu got drunk out of frustration, and Huo Zhiyun eventually took him to the room originally prepared for Huo Zhiyun and Lou Mian.

The room was decorated with an intimate, suggestive atmosphere, and the rich, heady fragrance of the incense would have stirred anyone's desire. It did nothing for Chi Xu, though.

"It's a joyous occasion. Why aren't you spending some quality time with your future wife? Why drag me here?" Chi Xu's question was cold and hard, with a strong hint of jealousy.

"I never realized before that President Chi cared so much about my private life." Huo Zhiyun seemed drunk too. As he looked at Chi Xu, his expression carried a hazy, indistinct affection. "I sent her home."

"You sent her home?" Chi Xu looked around at the room's decorations as he spoke, falling deep in thought. Then he frowned and gave a bitter laugh.

"Huo Zhiyun, I think you might be impotent."

"?"

That very night, Huo Zhiyun, who was never good with words, proved through his actions that not only was he fully capable...

He was exceptionally capable.

From then on, Chi Xu had one more reason to want to dismember Huo Zhiyun.

[Huo Zhiyun's point of view]

After failing to reach an agreement with his family for the 998th time, Huo Zhiyun was finally given an ultimatum by his father: get engaged to Lou Mian, the second daughter of the Lou family.

Huo Zhiyun knew Chi Xu had liked Lou Mian since they were children. So the instant he heard the news, the first thing he thought of wasn't how he would spend the rest of his life if he married a woman he had never loved.

He thought of Chi Xu.

He was afraid of seeing Chi Xu look at him with eyes full of confusion, disappointment, or even hatred when he heard the news. That would be worse than being killed outright.

Huo Zhiyun wanted to explain things to Chi Xu.

The reception that evening was his last chance.

That night, he took a drunk Chi Xu to a room so they could talk.

But Chi Xu didn't want to cooperate at all. He kept taking verbal jabs at Huo Zhiyun, leaving him completely at a loss for words. Seeing that the conversation was going nowhere, Huo Zhiyun decided to leave the room to Chi Xu, who was having trouble getting around, and go somewhere else himself.

"Where are you going?" As Huo Zhiyun headed for the door, Chi Xu grabbed him. "I won't let you leave this room..."

"Why?"

"I won't let you go see her. If you dare look for Lou Mian, I'll kill you."

"...Then where should I go?" Huo Zhiyun didn't resist, letting Chi Xu do whatever he wanted with him.

"Stay here."

"?"

"Stay here with me, and you won't be able to go fool around."

Huo Zhiyun couldn't help but laugh at that.

"You really underestimate me."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I said you'd better keep a close eye on me."

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