This Lazy Fish Is My Emperor's Dark Moonlight

[Blurb] The first time I tried to poison him, my hands shook with fear. A gust of wind blew the poison right into my eyes, and I poisoned myself. The first time I tried to assassinate him, my hand shook so much I could barely hold the knife. I even stepped on my own skirt. The blade cut through the back of his robe, exposing his magnificent rear, and then I chipped it with my teeth... None of this was my fault. I'd transmigrated into this melodramatic novel as a top-tier spy, but I hadn't inherited any of the original owner's memories or skills, and my superior was forcing me to act. After so many failed attempts, I knew that even if he was an idiot, he'd have figured out I was a spy. I'd tried to escape again and again without success. I thought I was done for and wouldn't even be able to live the carefree life of a lazy fish. As I waited, the tyrant died. The Empress Dowager and the empress both swallowed gold and killed themselves, and he rebelled and took the throne. I gaped at the gold seal and register they sent me: This is huge. There's no way I can swallow it. The new emperor, Shen Che, stared at me and said, "Want to swallow it? If you can't, then accept it and become empress." Bonus Scene One: Half a year later, I reminded Shen Che once again that the harem couldn't have just one empress. Several senior members of the royal family had hinted at it many times. "Then let's add some," Shen Che said. He looked at the fat cat in my arms. "I'll make it Consort An. It looks like peace and prosperity personified. And the other two: the nimble black one can be Consort Min, and the timid white one can be Consort Jin." Me: "...Isn't that going too far?" If word got out that Shen Che and I had made cats into consorts, we'd be an utterly depraved emperor and a disastrous empress! "Then let's build a golden age and clear our names!" Shen Che said with a grin. Bonus Scene Two: Little Eunuch A came running in a panic to report: "Your Majesty, Consort An and Consort Jin... secretly mated and had a litter! And Consort Min scratched up the emperor's robes and even stole a chicken leg from the imperial kitchen." Little Eunuch B came running in a panic to report: "Your Majesty, the emperor requests your presence in the imperial study. The Ministry of Revenue officials are there. They'd like to ask about this year's experimental greenhouse plots for vegetables..." I cried my eyes out. My days as a lazy fish weren't peaceful at all. *See the author's profile for completed novels: The Beautiful Concubine's Marriage (Double Rebirth), The Villainous Beauty's Top-Notch Rural Life, and She Became the Beloved of All After Transmigrating into the Wicked Mother-in-Law. Coming soon: My Beautiful Concubine's Character Is Too Convincing A pretentious, thieving concubine X a big bad wolf of a general whose heart catches fire late in life Coming soon: A Down-and-Out Cousin Comes to the Marquis's Estate A hard-to-mess-with lazy fish X a two-faced, black-bellied heir (In short: Don't mess with me, thanks.) Theme: Life will always get better through kindness and hard work