Does Dying of Embarrassment Count as Faking My Death?

On the third day after transmigrating into Jujutsu Kaisen, the protagonist finally got his golden finger:

[System: Die by suicide in Dazai's arms, and smile at him just before you die. Teach Dazai the weight of life.]

Protagonist: System, why don't you look around? This is Tokyo Jujutsu High. Bungou Stray Dogs is just a new anime here, okay?

Protagonist: What do you mean, die in Dazai's arms? Am I supposed to jump off the roof of Tokyo Jujutsu High while clutching a life-size Dazai Osamu body pillow, and make sure I smile foolishly at my merch before I die?

Protagonist: Haha, this death is so absurd. Are you trying to make me compete with Gojo Satoru for the most dramatic funeral?

System: Reward: Reverse Cursed Technique.

Protagonist: On my way.

Ten minutes later, everyone at the school watches a classmate attempting a leap of faith from the rooftop.

Gojo Satoru: ...Huh? You're trying to kill yourself just because I snatched your limited-edition Dazai Osamu merch?

Suguru Geto: Gojo, don't just take other people's toys. It's rude. (Turns to the protagonist.) Classmate, sorcerers can't die from jumping off the school roof. Want me to lend you a cursed spirit so you can try again from five thousand meters up?

Yokohama set.

[System: Join the police academy squad, save the police academy squad, keep switching between the Red and Black factions, fake your death, become everyone's moonlight, and claim the top spot on the Detective Conan forum popularity rankings!]

Protagonist: Hello, this is Yokohama.

Protagonist: Wait, does teaming up with Edogawa Ranpo to clean up the police academy and get expelled count as joining the police academy squad?

Protagonist: I asked, and Ranpo refused to play rescue-family with me. Can we swap this mission for something else?

Protagonist: What do you mean, switching between Red and Black and then faking my death? Am I supposed to pick five unlucky NPCs at the police academy to act out a tearful farewell right under Dazai Osamu's nose? Seriously? Me?

Protagonist: Just say it. Do you want Dazai Osamu to make fun of me for the rest of my life?

Beika Town set.

[System: You're a beautiful, strong, and tragic heartthrob. Gojo Satoru is infatuated with you, Dazai Osamu is utterly captivated by you, and even Rei Furuya can't sleep at night because he feels for your tragic past... Let your charm run wild and enjoy your harem showdown!]

Protagonist: ?

Protagonist: This is Beika Town. There's no Gojo Satoru or Dazai Osamu here... Oh well, that's not important.

Protagonist: System bro, I'm begging you. Send me to that world. It's not for any special reason. I just want to see Gojo Satoru, Dazai Osamu, and Rei Furuya looking like idiots, completely lovestruck over me.

Protagonist: And give me a camera, bro. Just give me this one chance. Please, bro, this is my only shot at getting even with those three jerks!

[You are the only son of Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha...]

Protagonist: I don't mind being the son of those two big shots, but can you stop dangling promises and give me Wood Release and the Sharingan first?

Protagonist: By the way, which weird place is this? Let's rule out Naruto first.

[Faced with this dark and decaying world, you, a newcomer, decide to change everything by writing novels, drawing manga, and making games!]

Protagonist: Bro, do I really have to write a novel? I never passed a single high school essay!

Protagonist: Bro, I can't draw!

Protagonist: Bro, look at these clear, foolish eyes of a liberal arts student. Do I look like I know programming or how to make games?

[To save everyone, you begin your first reload. This is only the start of your one thousand and first reload.]

Protagonist: When did I reload? Wait, I don't think I even have this golden finger!

[You are a cosplayer...]

Protagonist: I'm not!

You haven't given me a single secret identity. How can you call this a secret-identity novel?

Are you sure this heartthrob buff is working? Bourbon, Rye, and Gin have already started looking at me like I'm an idiot. System, do you have any idea what's going on?

Where's the fake death? You said you'd let me fake my death after I finished the missions. Dying of embarrassment counts, right?

After N worlds, the Jujutsu, Detective Conan, and Bungou Stray Dogs sets merge.

Protagonist: ...

The protagonist sneaks into the Port Mafia boss's office in the middle of the night.

Protagonist: Bro, let's make a deal. You don't have to kill yourself. I'll stab you and send you off, and you can set things up before you die to take me with you. How about it?

Then he sees the newspaper on the other man's desk:

[Funniest News Story of the Year] A Tokyo Jujutsu High student tries to kill himself while clutching a life-size body pillow of the Yokohama Port Corporation's president. Is this a distortion of human nature, or a collapse of public morality?

Protagonist: ...

The protagonist tactically retreats.

"It'd be no fun to let you off that easily, would it?"

Dazai Osamu lets out a brief laugh, taps the newspaper absentmindedly, and tilts his head. Calmly, he reasons with him: "It's not as if you let me off, either."

It is an ordinary day.

Dazai Osamu decides to kill himself.

Before doing so, he opens the [Book] to check his plans one last time.

Then he sees a scene from a certain world line: someone jumping off a building with his life-size body pillow on their back.

Dazai Osamu: ?

He'll put off the suicide for now. He needs to come up with a way to punish someone.

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