Naruto: Blue Dragon, Akatsuki (Days Wandering Among the Akatsuki)

The bluebird is a bird of happiness that lives in paradise. My name is Bluebird. Hm? You want to know if I'm happy? Ha, why are you asking me that... Are you brain-dead? You're just like Deidara. The Akatsuki is a group of lunatics. What, I'm not allowed to call them lunatics? Fine, fine, Konan isn't. She's so quiet and refined. Fine, fine, Deidara isn't. He's so adorable. Fine, fine, Pain isn't. He's just got a few extra piercings, a few extra bodies, and lollipop eyes. Fine, fine, Itachi isn't. He's such a perfect, cool older brother. Fine, fine, Sasori isn't. He's just a little fake-shota with a bizarre shell. Fine, fine, Hidan isn't. He's just got a huge slicked-back hairstyle like Chrollo's and is a bit hot-blooded. Fine, fine, Kakuzu isn't either. He just loves money. Fine, fine, Kisame isn't. He's always seemed pretty honest, even if he's not human. After going through all that, who exactly is still a lunatic? Ah, I guess that would be Madara Uchiha... (gets smacked) The Akatsuki is the Akatsuki: chicks huddling together for warmth in winter, and us beating each other up in winter... (Ahem, just kidding.) Pain: “The Jade Group is going to capture the One-Tail.” Deidara: “I'm taking A-Qing with me.” Qing: “I want to go shopping.” Sasori: “All of you, shut up.” Pain: “...” Sasori: “Eternity is art. Goodbye.” So Sasori left, Bluebird went berserk, Deidara ran off in tears, and Pain was speechless. Pain: “Qing, go with Deidara, and take Tobi.” Qing: “Come here, little Tobi, be a good boy~” Deidara: “Damn Tobi~ Pain's picking on me! Hm!” Pain: “What-does-that-have-to-do-with-me...” Konan led Pain away, leaving Deidara sobbing. Itachi: “Three servings of three-color dumplings.” Qing: “Three servings of lotus-leaf dumplings!” Itachi: “Three servings of three-color dumplings, you fool.” Calmly. Qing: “You brother-obsessed creep, three servings of lotus-leaf dumplings.” Unruffled. Itachi: “Three-color dumplings, foolish woman.” Crisp and decisive. Qing: “Lotus-leaf dumplings, red-eyed weasel.” Briefly. Kisame: “Itachi, Qing, how about squid balls instead?” Unmatched. Itachi: “...” Qing: “One skewer for you, one for me, and one for him.” Everyone: “...” Honestly, you're the one who leaves us most speechless. The ending is happy, so don't hesitate to start reading~ (This story was posted on Tieba before. I thought the post might be too long, so I moved it here~ Meow~) [Ha ha ha, I've changed the title again...]