An overseas Chinese detective story: could it also be a clash of cultures?
And is terrorism truly a personal pain?
Thanks, Shuitian and Daodao. Looks like I really do need to make major changes. Once I've finished writing parts one, two, and three, I'll tackle part five.
After reading it, I have nothing to say about the topic. . . Wow, I'm so excited. . . I originally planned to go to CentralAustralia, so I planned to take the train from Melbourne to Alicespring. . . And Miss Ai reminds me of a teacher. . . -___-
Okay, stop talking and continue reading LZ's article.
Fortunately~~but sometimes the chapters cannot be connected.
Cat readers dive a lot... I came out to spit out water and scatter flowers...
Well, I'm very sincere. Wait until I change it. A new work in Yang Zhong's series of mystery short stories may be about to be completed. Revising an old story is not as exciting as writing a new one, but it will definitely be revised.
After reading several other articles, I was a little disappointed when reading this one. I will not analyze it like the following professionals. As a reader of detective novels who is not very flexible, I would like to ask a few questions.
The first question: Probably because of the writing technique, Maoda pursues the shot-by-shot effect of a movie, but there are still some places where the connection is not good. A more obvious gap appears between Chapter 3 and Chapter 4. At the end of the previous chapter, Yang was still reciting poetry, but at the beginning of the next chapter, he was surveying the scene. It was too jumpy. But this may be because my brain is too stubborn to turn around.
The second problem is the magical door between the two red and gold dining cars.
Chapter 3 It was incredible for female scholar Ai Bing to have dinner with Yang and the others. Because as mentioned before, the gold and red dining cars are locked. When I was watching it, I thought, well, maybe because the Middle Eastern couple moved to the gold car, the lock was opened and not locked again. But Chapter 4 immediately says, "Yang Zhong and Xiao west followed the frightened steward and walked to the locked door between the dining cars." So how did Ai Bing go through the locked door to eat with Yang and the others and then go back to the golden car through the door after eating?
The third question is: When did Ai Bing hear about the bomb. The murderer moved to the gold car when his wife gave birth to a child, and because the red and gold cars were separated, he would not have had any contact with Ai Bing before. The time when the murderer poisoned her was when his wife was still giving birth to her child. Therefore, it should be during this period that Ai Bing heard about the bomb. But who would be in the mood to discuss the bomb issue when his wife is giving birth? Those two couples are too perverted. And Ai Bing probably didn't know about the bomb before meeting Yang and the others in the dining car, otherwise she should have told them at that time.
The fourth question is the murderer's purpose of bringing the poison. As Xiaodao said below, the author did not explain the poison. The terrorists brought bombs onto the car, and according to Yang, the target was very clear, which was the golden carriage. And if you want to blow up the train you are riding on, you should be prepared to sacrifice yourself if the bomb is not particularly small. So what is poison used for? Ordinary rat poison is fine, but it is not an ordinary poison. If you take this in the car, is the murderer ready to poison others at any time? The explanation here is unclear.
The fifth problem is still the problem of poison. □□ Is highly poisonous and can kill even a trace amount. The murderer should know this. He grabbed the thermos bottle with gloves stained with poison powder. Wasn't he afraid that the powder would fall into the hot water and poison his wife and children? Even if you can't fall in, wearing poisonous gloves as a doctor's assistant is still very dangerous. Well, maybe the gloves can be replaced, or the killer doesn't mind poisoning his wife and children. After all, even if the poison doesn't kill the wife and children, they will still die if the bomb explodes. Then just pretend I haven't asked this question.
The sixth question is, Ai Bing obviously already knew about the bomb when she called Yang. Why didn't she tell Yang directly at that time? Even if you are playing a numbers game, you can tell him now. Why do you have to send a message? There are already bombs, but Miss Ai still has the heart to play games? Too open-minded.
The seventh question is about my wife. I don't understand why the murderer brought his expectant wife to plant a bomb. Isn't this a hindrance? You see, the wife was transferred to the golden carriage to give birth to the baby. Planting a bomb there would endanger the life of the wife and baby. Even if you sacrifice for your ideal, isn't it enough to sacrifice one? Why sacrifice three at once? Obviously you haven't learned economics well. The train didn't stop for a long time when the murderer committed the murder. The murderer knew it. Why didn't he plant a bomb before? What was he waiting for? As Xiao Dao said, he is not a competent terrorist. Originally, his wife had a difficult childbirth, which gave him the opportunity to go to the golden carriage, but he didn't bring a bomb! Then the existence of his wife is simply meaningless. She is just a matchmaker for Ai Bing and Yang to get to know each other.
The eighth problem is that the princess appears out of nowhere. It would be better if the author explained that the princess was the target of a terrorist attack, but now the princess is only used as a prop for Yang's reasoning process, which is too wasteful. Maybe the author thinks that readers can understand it, but I think it's better to explain it, because if you don't say it, we readers will guess it ourselves. Who knows whether it is true or not.
All in all, this article is really unsatisfactory compared to Maoda's other articles.
"You live at the head of the Yangtze River, and I live at the end of the Yangtze River." - It should be "I live at the head of the Yangtze River, and you live at the end of the Yangtze River."
Girls are so cute, boys are so annoying
Good article, good article, really good article, dig it haha, I found a good article
Are you trying to lead the trend of detectives recently? I agree, I agree. The originality of the detective is really good. What's especially rare is the high score of the reviewers (in fact, many of the reviewers are adults who write their own detectives, haha). Xiaodao's reviews are very good, and they pay attention to details and structure.
Adults and commentators, please work hard together, haha, I hope to attract more viewers.
After watching "Laws of Nature", I came to watch the next installment in the series, "Death Train," and I had high expectations. After reading it, I paraphrased the author's own sentence and felt that "white jade is slightly flawless", which is a bit regretful.
Unexpected and reasonable. Fiction should not be arbitrary and capricious. This should be the basic principle of writing novels. I remember talking about the creativity of a toothpaste advertisement last time. The client was probably influenced by a certain brand's advertisement, and insisted on designing it so that the model holds a lime in her left hand and an ice cube in her right hand, chewing on it one bite at a time. We said at the time that this was not okay and unreasonable. Forget about chewing ice cubes in the summer. Why don't you grab a lemon and chew it? It's not an apple. This actually makes sense. You can edit what you can, but you have to make it reasonable. The audience and readers are not fools. Not only are they not fools, they are actually smart.
The biggest irrationality of "Death Train" is the characters' reactions to certain events. Let's take a look at the entire incident and let me talk about where it is unreasonable.
It started one night when Yang, Wang, and Jian took the same train. This is a virtual continuation of the previous chapter. Yang was in the golden car, and Wang and Jian were in the red car. Yang Zhong went to find Wang and Jian, and then met a pregnant woman who had given birth prematurely. With Yang Zhong's masochistic temperament of taking the world as his own responsibility and insisting on suffering for others, it is normal for him to propose changing seats with others. Whether the terrorists followed him because they loved their wives or because they thought they could get closer to their targets was a point that could have been put into play. But since the author has not used it well, I will leave it aside for now.
After changing seats, Yang Zhong met Miss Ai. She raised her hands high, trying to trick the murderer. But since the author said that her lady is arrogant by nature and treats others as dirt, it is understandable. Yang Zhong was a man who regarded women as scourges, so he quickly ran away, leaving the murderer face to face with the deceased. There must be a small BUG here. Since Miss Ai is so arrogant and indifferent to the murderer, her affection for Yang Zhong has no basis. Put another way, since she admired Yang Zhong's gentlemanly and chivalrous style, she should also be an enthusiastic person, at least cold on the outside and hot on the inside. Otherwise, why would she have lent a water bottle to the murderer, and she must have been too courageous knowing that the other person was a terrorist. Also, it's a bit strange that a person who studies Middle Eastern culture didn't speak a word of Arabic when he bumped into a Middle Easterner. We have a director from New Zealand. His Chinese proficiency is only in the first grade of elementary school. When he meets everyone, he always says "Hello, have you eaten?" I guess you just let Yang Zhong run away to avoid the temptation of the goblin, and didn't take care of anything else.
The next morning, Miss Ai came to the door by herself and played some brainstorming, which was actually a disguised form of flirting. Her lady was still very relaxed and relaxed at this time, and it seemed that she had not heard the news about the bomb yet. At this point, I have to criticize the terrorists. They are so unprofessional. What did they do all night? According to the idea of Hollywood blockbusters, missiles of all sizes should be on the scene by now. There is a hint of suspicion here. No matter what, you should step out and step on the plate when you have time, for example, if you attempt to poison someone but fail, ask someone to stop you and explain the poison along the way. I came back and told my wife that the first of the two sets of teams was useless, and it seemed that firearms would have to be used. This was another explanation of the leak, so it was considered natural. It's not meant to affect the author's creative ideas, just give some reference.
Then people die. Detailed description has always been the author's specialty. He describes wine bottles, wine glasses, and carpets, and embeds threads, which are all good. The bad thing is that Miss Ai's password was so poorly designed that it didn't make her appear smart at all. How dare she give such a simple password to her favorite male detective? The author must be lazy.
Upon examination by the doctor, the conclusion of poisoning was very smooth. Then things took a turn for the worse. As soon as Yang Zhong slapped his forehead, he knew there was a bomb or something suspected to be a bomb in the car. It is almost suspected that the password was designed simply to allow Mr. Yang to take quick action and arrest him. Then two problems appeared, one big and one small.
Let's talk about the small ones first. Wang west's identity is not mentioned here, but looking at the author's original manuscript, the first case in this series seems to be related to him. He seems to be from an aristocratic family, and he is a student at school, studying for a master's degree in astrophysics. Even if this kid loves sports and is in good health, he is definitely not comparable to a professional spy. Why did he get on the roof of the train without saying anything? Have you watched too many Hollywood blockbusters? Yang Zhong is a professional detective, and he knows how to punch and kick, so he can go up there himself. It is not appropriate for Wang west to just catch the terrorists. He is just kidding with human life.
Let's talk about the big ones. Miss Ai knew there was a bomb and called Yang Zhong, but she didn't say anything at the time. When will you have the leisure to play games? We still have to wait until the next stop to stop. Wouldn't it have exploded earlier? Such a smart person should know what is light and what is heavy. Did she have any reason not to say it then? To round things out here, you have to explain the reason.
After catching the prisoner, the detective had to give a speech, and what Yang Zhong said was basically reasonable. The killing method is rather strange, and the motivation is also strange. These are actually related to the previous problems.
There is so much nitpicking, but there is actually no other meaning. This article still has potential, and it is a very good subject matter. Although it is a bit of a fringe topic, the scale is well grasped. If the above questions can be corrected, it should be a very good detective novel. I have said that if you have a subject matter that no one else has, you can write something good. Don't be afraid of lengthening the article, writing well is the most important thing.
After reading it, I have nothing to say about the topic. . . Wow, I'm so excited. . . I originally planned to go to CentralAustralia, so I planned to take the train from Melbourne to Alicespring. . . And Miss Ai reminds me of a teacher. . . -___- Okay, stop talking and continue reading LZ's article.
Fortunately~~but sometimes the chapters cannot be connected.
Cat readers dive a lot... I came out to spit out water and scatter flowers...
Well, I'm very sincere. Wait until I change it. A new work in Yang Zhong's series of mystery short stories may be about to be completed. Revising an old story is not as exciting as writing a new one, but it will definitely be revised.
After reading several other articles, I was a little disappointed when reading this one. I will not analyze it like the following professionals. As a reader of detective novels who is not very flexible, I would like to ask a few questions. The first question: Probably because of the writing technique, Maoda pursues the shot-by-shot effect of a movie, but there are still some places where the connection is not good. A more obvious gap appears between Chapter 3 and Chapter 4. At the end of the previous chapter, Yang was still reciting poetry, but at the beginning of the next chapter, he was surveying the scene. It was too jumpy. But this may be because my brain is too stubborn to turn around. The second problem is the magical door between the two red and gold dining cars. Chapter 3 It was incredible for female scholar Ai Bing to have dinner with Yang and the others. Because as mentioned before, the gold and red dining cars are locked. When I was watching it, I thought, well, maybe because the Middle Eastern couple moved to the gold car, the lock was opened and not locked again. But Chapter 4 immediately says, "Yang Zhong and Xiao west followed the frightened steward and walked to the locked door between the dining cars." So how did Ai Bing go through the locked door to eat with Yang and the others and then go back to the golden car through the door after eating? The third question is: When did Ai Bing hear about the bomb. The murderer moved to the gold car when his wife gave birth to a child, and because the red and gold cars were separated, he would not have had any contact with Ai Bing before. The time when the murderer poisoned her was when his wife was still giving birth to her child. Therefore, it should be during this period that Ai Bing heard about the bomb. But who would be in the mood to discuss the bomb issue when his wife is giving birth? Those two couples are too perverted. And Ai Bing probably didn't know about the bomb before meeting Yang and the others in the dining car, otherwise she should have told them at that time. The fourth question is the murderer's purpose of bringing the poison. As Xiaodao said below, the author did not explain the poison. The terrorists brought bombs onto the car, and according to Yang, the target was very clear, which was the golden carriage. And if you want to blow up the train you are riding on, you should be prepared to sacrifice yourself if the bomb is not particularly small. So what is poison used for? Ordinary rat poison is fine, but it is not an ordinary poison. If you take this in the car, is the murderer ready to poison others at any time? The explanation here is unclear. The fifth problem is still the problem of poison. □□ Is highly poisonous and can kill even a trace amount. The murderer should know this. He grabbed the thermos bottle with gloves stained with poison powder. Wasn't he afraid that the powder would fall into the hot water and poison his wife and children? Even if you can't fall in, wearing poisonous gloves as a doctor's assistant is still very dangerous. Well, maybe the gloves can be replaced, or the killer doesn't mind poisoning his wife and children. After all, even if the poison doesn't kill the wife and children, they will still die if the bomb explodes. Then just pretend I haven't asked this question. The sixth question is, Ai Bing obviously already knew about the bomb when she called Yang. Why didn't she tell Yang directly at that time? Even if you are playing a numbers game, you can tell him now. Why do you have to send a message? There are already bombs, but Miss Ai still has the heart to play games? Too open-minded. The seventh question is about my wife. I don't understand why the murderer brought his expectant wife to plant a bomb. Isn't this a hindrance? You see, the wife was transferred to the golden carriage to give birth to the baby. Planting a bomb there would endanger the life of the wife and baby. Even if you sacrifice for your ideal, isn't it enough to sacrifice one? Why sacrifice three at once? Obviously you haven't learned economics well. The train didn't stop for a long time when the murderer committed the murder. The murderer knew it. Why didn't he plant a bomb before? What was he waiting for? As Xiao Dao said, he is not a competent terrorist. Originally, his wife had a difficult childbirth, which gave him the opportunity to go to the golden carriage, but he didn't bring a bomb! Then the existence of his wife is simply meaningless. She is just a matchmaker for Ai Bing and Yang to get to know each other. The eighth problem is that the princess appears out of nowhere. It would be better if the author explained that the princess was the target of a terrorist attack, but now the princess is only used as a prop for Yang's reasoning process, which is too wasteful. Maybe the author thinks that readers can understand it, but I think it's better to explain it, because if you don't say it, we readers will guess it ourselves. Who knows whether it is true or not. All in all, this article is really unsatisfactory compared to Maoda's other articles.
"You live at the head of the Yangtze River, and I live at the end of the Yangtze River." - It should be "I live at the head of the Yangtze River, and you live at the end of the Yangtze River."
Girls are so cute, boys are so annoying
Good article, good article, really good article, dig it haha, I found a good article
Are you trying to lead the trend of detectives recently? I agree, I agree. The originality of the detective is really good. What's especially rare is the high score of the reviewers (in fact, many of the reviewers are adults who write their own detectives, haha). Xiaodao's reviews are very good, and they pay attention to details and structure. Adults and commentators, please work hard together, haha, I hope to attract more viewers.
After watching "Laws of Nature", I came to watch the next installment in the series, "Death Train," and I had high expectations. After reading it, I paraphrased the author's own sentence and felt that "white jade is slightly flawless", which is a bit regretful. Unexpected and reasonable. Fiction should not be arbitrary and capricious. This should be the basic principle of writing novels. I remember talking about the creativity of a toothpaste advertisement last time. The client was probably influenced by a certain brand's advertisement, and insisted on designing it so that the model holds a lime in her left hand and an ice cube in her right hand, chewing on it one bite at a time. We said at the time that this was not okay and unreasonable. Forget about chewing ice cubes in the summer. Why don't you grab a lemon and chew it? It's not an apple. This actually makes sense. You can edit what you can, but you have to make it reasonable. The audience and readers are not fools. Not only are they not fools, they are actually smart. The biggest irrationality of "Death Train" is the characters' reactions to certain events. Let's take a look at the entire incident and let me talk about where it is unreasonable. It started one night when Yang, Wang, and Jian took the same train. This is a virtual continuation of the previous chapter. Yang was in the golden car, and Wang and Jian were in the red car. Yang Zhong went to find Wang and Jian, and then met a pregnant woman who had given birth prematurely. With Yang Zhong's masochistic temperament of taking the world as his own responsibility and insisting on suffering for others, it is normal for him to propose changing seats with others. Whether the terrorists followed him because they loved their wives or because they thought they could get closer to their targets was a point that could have been put into play. But since the author has not used it well, I will leave it aside for now. After changing seats, Yang Zhong met Miss Ai. She raised her hands high, trying to trick the murderer. But since the author said that her lady is arrogant by nature and treats others as dirt, it is understandable. Yang Zhong was a man who regarded women as scourges, so he quickly ran away, leaving the murderer face to face with the deceased. There must be a small BUG here. Since Miss Ai is so arrogant and indifferent to the murderer, her affection for Yang Zhong has no basis. Put another way, since she admired Yang Zhong's gentlemanly and chivalrous style, she should also be an enthusiastic person, at least cold on the outside and hot on the inside. Otherwise, why would she have lent a water bottle to the murderer, and she must have been too courageous knowing that the other person was a terrorist. Also, it's a bit strange that a person who studies Middle Eastern culture didn't speak a word of Arabic when he bumped into a Middle Easterner. We have a director from New Zealand. His Chinese proficiency is only in the first grade of elementary school. When he meets everyone, he always says "Hello, have you eaten?" I guess you just let Yang Zhong run away to avoid the temptation of the goblin, and didn't take care of anything else. The next morning, Miss Ai came to the door by herself and played some brainstorming, which was actually a disguised form of flirting. Her lady was still very relaxed and relaxed at this time, and it seemed that she had not heard the news about the bomb yet. At this point, I have to criticize the terrorists. They are so unprofessional. What did they do all night? According to the idea of Hollywood blockbusters, missiles of all sizes should be on the scene by now. There is a hint of suspicion here. No matter what, you should step out and step on the plate when you have time, for example, if you attempt to poison someone but fail, ask someone to stop you and explain the poison along the way. I came back and told my wife that the first of the two sets of teams was useless, and it seemed that firearms would have to be used. This was another explanation of the leak, so it was considered natural. It's not meant to affect the author's creative ideas, just give some reference. Then people die. Detailed description has always been the author's specialty. He describes wine bottles, wine glasses, and carpets, and embeds threads, which are all good. The bad thing is that Miss Ai's password was so poorly designed that it didn't make her appear smart at all. How dare she give such a simple password to her favorite male detective? The author must be lazy. Upon examination by the doctor, the conclusion of poisoning was very smooth. Then things took a turn for the worse. As soon as Yang Zhong slapped his forehead, he knew there was a bomb or something suspected to be a bomb in the car. It is almost suspected that the password was designed simply to allow Mr. Yang to take quick action and arrest him. Then two problems appeared, one big and one small. Let's talk about the small ones first. Wang west's identity is not mentioned here, but looking at the author's original manuscript, the first case in this series seems to be related to him. He seems to be from an aristocratic family, and he is a student at school, studying for a master's degree in astrophysics. Even if this kid loves sports and is in good health, he is definitely not comparable to a professional spy. Why did he get on the roof of the train without saying anything? Have you watched too many Hollywood blockbusters? Yang Zhong is a professional detective, and he knows how to punch and kick, so he can go up there himself. It is not appropriate for Wang west to just catch the terrorists. He is just kidding with human life. Let's talk about the big ones. Miss Ai knew there was a bomb and called Yang Zhong, but she didn't say anything at the time. When will you have the leisure to play games? We still have to wait until the next stop to stop. Wouldn't it have exploded earlier? Such a smart person should know what is light and what is heavy. Did she have any reason not to say it then? To round things out here, you have to explain the reason. After catching the prisoner, the detective had to give a speech, and what Yang Zhong said was basically reasonable. The killing method is rather strange, and the motivation is also strange. These are actually related to the previous problems. There is so much nitpicking, but there is actually no other meaning. This article still has potential, and it is a very good subject matter. Although it is a bit of a fringe topic, the scale is well grasped. If the above questions can be corrected, it should be a very good detective novel. I have said that if you have a subject matter that no one else has, you can write something good. Don't be afraid of lengthening the article, writing well is the most important thing.