My Master Is Sick, but I Have No Cure

[The blurb is written in first person; the main text is in third person.]

My diary of life with my master:

My master is quite vain, thanks to his good looks. He often thinks people have crushes on him and want to have their way with him.

Me: "Master, beating them is like beating children for you. What are you afraid of? Besides, everyone in the cultivation world knows that nine out of ten sword cultivators follow the Heartless Dao. Who would be foolish enough to think that way?"

Master: "Even the heartless can be captivating. You don't understand. Getting involved with someone who follows the Heartless Dao is more thrilling. That's the kind of trouble only a cool and aloof immortal like me has."

Me: "How about I take you to get your head checked, Master?"

My master silently drew his sword. Remembering my childhood spent being chased and beaten by him, I had to change my tune. "Then what do you think we should do, Master?"

Master: "If we want thrills, we should see it through. Let's pretend to be in an even more forbidden master-disciple romance and scare them off."

Forget it. I'd better take my master to get his head checked.

That idea changed when I was gossiping over a storybook one day. It said: "Yuan Kongcui ate what he had brought her, was drugged, and consummated things with the Demon Lord..."

Just then, the Demon Lord suddenly appeared.

Me: !?

Me: I can't beat this guy at all!

Master, save me!

Notes:

1. Master and disciple. Happy ending.

2. Written with complete disregard for restraint.

Also promoting my upcoming story: "Have I Won Over the Saintess Today?"

After being killed by the Saintess seven times in prophetic dreams, Ren Dongliu took a hard look at himself and decided to reach her while she was still young, win her over, and turn her to his side. He would make her a good person and change the fate of the world.

Ren Dongliu in year one: The Saintess is so dangerous. If I can't turn her to my side, I'll kill her.

Ren Dongliu in year three: I serve the Nine Que Heavenly Palace. I can do this! I will never submit to the Saintess!

Ren Dongliu in year ten: The Saintess is the truth. I live for the Saintess. What kind of wicked cult is the Nine Que Heavenly Palace?

Ren Dongliu: I didn't want to fall in love, but she's so bewitching!

As the future Saintess, Yin Mengqiu had long had her path laid out for her: auspicious clouds, flowers, praise, and admiration. Everyone looked up to her and revered her.

She had to remain powerful and mysterious forever, hanging high in the sky like the sun.

But just as she was about to embark on that path, fate suddenly took a turn. Yin Mengqiu met a fox with bad intentions.

Notes:

1. The rise from fluffy body pillow to male lead.

2. What do you do when your fated nemesis is too adorable?

Theme: Persevering in defiance and resisting fate.