Just How Many Good Brothers Do You Have?!

This novel is also known as: "I'm Not Exactly Short on Energy, So Why Can't I Be a Player?"

/"What?! How Could My Brother Possibly Not Be Straight?!"

The top, tentatively ending with no CP, leaning toward the top

Blurb One: The Plain and Simple Version

My name is Ye Xiaoxiao. I'm an ordinary college student. The only unusual thing about me might be that I have a non-blood-related older brother who's extremely good at causing trouble.

I used to have "absolutely no" affection for my idiotic older brother, who occasionally acted like he was in an anime and was always getting me into trouble. But now he doesn't bother me anymore. He's turned his attention to other people instead, and I couldn't be less happy about it. I just want to ask him, "Big Brother! How many more close male friends do you have?!"

I'm Chu Mingxuan. Yes, I'm the idiot brother she was talking about.

My good friend says she's mad again, but I stopped teasing her, didn't I?

I look at my friend, troubled. "Girls are so hard to understand. How am I ever going to find a girlfriend?"

Blurb Two: The Plot and Character Introduction

Chu Mingxuan has never had a long-term relationship in his life. Either the other person inexplicably breaks up with him, or one of his good friends realizes they're no good, lays out all the evidence, then gently advises him to think it over.

"Could I really be the problem?"

With this question on his mind, Chu Mingxuan decides that dating should start with making friends. As long as he can make all kinds of good friends, surely he'll be able to have the long-lasting romance he wants!

He considers himself straight. He's worried that hanging around female friends all the time might lead to misunderstandings, so he might as well practice with guys!

And so...

His usually gentle instructor is pinned over a desk, held in an embrace from behind.

Chu Mingxuan takes the hand holding the pen, looking troubled. "Teacher, I really don't understand this part."

The substitute teacher, who should be answering his questions, has a wandering gaze and an unrealistic dirty fantasy running through his mind.

The unruly race car driver sits unusually obediently in the passenger seat. He turns to look at Chu Mingxuan, who's laughing with abandon, and can't help smiling too. He thinks to himself: He looks so seductive when he smiles. I'd better keep a close eye on him.

His childhood friend, forced to take over the family business at a young age, stares in shock from upstairs as Chu Mingxuan chats and laughs with someone else downstairs.

He rarely swears, but this time he blurts out, "What the hell?! Isn't this a gay bar?!"

Chu Mingxuan holds a scalpel and gently traces it across the doctor's chest, murmuring, "Doctor, is it red here too?"

His body shivers with pleasure in response to the movements of the person above him, but his smile remains as calm as ever. "It's not just this part of me that's red. Don't you want to peel me open and take a look, little one?"

Chu Mingxuan has been in a bad mood lately because he's realized he may have lost his former interest in soft, sweet girls.

And now, the phone keeps buzzing with messages, making him even more irritated. So he puts everyone in a group chat. "Just putting this out there: I think studying is more important after all. We can put romance on hold for now, so stop messaging me all the time. You're annoying me."

Blurb Three: The One-Sentence Version

Everyone encounters a few jerks in life. Unfortunately, you met me, the biggest jerk of them all.

Key points:

The protagonist is a sunny, cheerful, naturally selfish womanizer who thinks dating works just like making friends. Since he can never make a relationship work, he frantically makes friends, hoping to glean romantic experience from them, while firmly believing he's straight. Sometimes he acts like a big puppy (but he's not a devoted top!). Who could resist a big puppy? (In the story.)

The characters' values don't represent the author's. Feel free to criticize anyone, but please don't criticize the male lead or his younger sister.

Content warnings:

1. The male lead tries to become a player from the start. (Though he doesn't think of himself as one.)

2. His younger sister has some scenes, so I mentioned her in the first blurb to avoid catching anyone off guard. (Actually, this was originally supposed to be a story about sibling affection. That's why I named it this way, because of my own selfish wish. Damn it! Why don't I have an older brother?!)

3. The author talks a lot and is a hopeless amateur who loves writing anyway, qwq.

4. I haven't thought of anything else, so I'll leave this blank for now. If anything catches you off guard, little angels, tell me and I'll add it.

Theme: A sunny, cheerful big jerk