I Have Five Immortal Mountains

Approved by the editor: entering VIP on May 30! May 30! May 30! Three chapters will be posted that day! Chapters 43 and 44 are paywalled chapters, so buy with care!

Things have been rather busy lately, so update times are unpredictable.

The young man carrying a huge sack of wild produce he had grown himself introduced himself to people like this: “Just call me Xiao Xian. If that doesn’t work, you can use my childhood nickname, Xianwa.” He was simply too embarrassed to explain that, back when he’d had a severe case of middle-school syndrome, he’d forced his grandfather to change his name to “Immortal Lord” at the county household registration office.

Introducing his name was always a painfully awkward experience.

Gu Tingyuan, whose heart was as dry as a riverbed and whose body was full of holes, thought that just being alive was torture. He smiled brightly. “Who says that? You are an Immortal Lord, a heavenly immortal who saves the suffering and turns decay into wonder.”

Gu Tingyuan had more money than he could spend and a lofty status, but he was born premature and had never been healthy. His parents’ deaths, his elders’ favoritism, and his relatives’ schemes had all left the already frail Gu Tingyuan mentally and physically exhausted. Though he was only in his twenties, he seemed to be running out of strength and burning through the last of his life. Then one day, after he passed out asleep by the hospital lake, he woke to find a young man with hair that looked as if a dog had chewed it standing guard beside him.

The other man said his surname was Xian and that he could just call him Xiao Xian.

#At first, everyone in Shanghai thought that country bumpkin was incredibly lucky to have latched onto Gu Tingyuan. Later, the whole world learned that Gu Tingyuan had powerful backing#

#I just grow trees#

#I raise a white ape#

#My family owns a few little mountains#

A few years later, the once-obscure, remote Mist Mountain had become famous around the world. Gu Tingyuan, who had once been delicate and sickly, now had a healthy glow. As the founder of Immortal Mountain Group, he fulfilled everyone’s fantasies of an “overbearing CEO”!

Then, in the space of two minutes, he posted twice on Weibo in response to netizens’ suggestions that the master of Immortal Mountain offer himself to Gu Tingyuan.

#Keep dreaming#

#Not even in your dreams#

The whole internet erupted within an hour. Netizens who loved watching the drama piled on: #You’re so overbearing, have you even asked the master of Immortal Mountain what he thinks?#

A few hours later, someone with the verified account “I Own Five Immortal Mountains,” personally certified by the government, replied to the netizens.

#He’s right#

The whole internet promptly crashed!

For fun:

In public, Xiao Xianjun lifted Gu Tingyuan’s chin and smiled wickedly. “Beauty, give me a smile.”

In private, Xiao Xianjun was trapped in a tiny space by the beauty and became a meek, humble weakling. “How about... I give you a smile instead?”

Xiao Xianjun, kissed until he was floating among the clouds, thought wildly to himself: So this is what you’re like, beauty. I misjudged you!

A not-so-polished, doting top x polished, doting bottom

A story about two people spoiling each other rotten

Content warning: Light fantasy. There are immortal mountains, but no cultivation or immortal cultivation! No updates on Sundays!

Approved: entering VIP on May 30! May 30! May 30! Three chapters will be posted that day!

Coming soon: “Shipping the Most Impossible Pair in the Mystic Sect”

The wise ones of the Mystic Sect predicted that spiritual energy would soon return. To deal with supernatural incidents across the land, the nation’s top leaders and the elders of the Mystic Sect agreed to establish a special operations team outside the official system.

The team members are as follows:

Captain: “Sword Maniac” Gu Lingjun: I have a sword that slays demons, destroys devils, suppresses evil, purifies souls, and cleanses filth. Its fame resounds across the Nine Provinces, and nothing can withstand it!

Deputy captain: “Demon Bell” Liu Rushi: I have a bell named Soul Preservation, Dreamlike, Soul Suppression, Spirit Shocking, Time Reversal, Salvation, Divine Descent, and Godslayer!

Member: “Demon-Hating” Pei Ci: I have a kasaya that controls all things, saves all living beings, resounds through reincarnation, and questions the countless karmic ties of past and present lives!

Member: “Demoness” Hua Yan: I have a silk sash that can bind immortals above and ghosts below. One becomes three thousand, and three thousand become countless!

Member: Lu Jiang: All of the above are big shots. I’m the only lackey.

Everyone: The chief and the sect elders sure have a few tricks up their sleeves.

This team lineup is enough to make your vision go dark, yet somehow it’s thrilling. The four prodigies of the Mystic Sect are together, and if you don’t ship them, you’re no human!

People ship them like their lives depend on it, thinking about it the moment they wake up... but nobody dares ship “Sword Maniac” and “Demon Bell.”

#How do you feel about the ships you’re into becoming canon?#

#I’m dying (pinching my philtrum and trying to revive myself, oh my god, I never even dared imagine this ship becoming real, let me lose my mind for a while first)#

Theme: A little effort can bring great rewards.