[Gintama] Ask and You Shall Receive

The day I opened my eyes, I couldn’t remember a thing.

The shrine maiden who woke me handed me a black notebook with an expectant look. She said that to recover my memories, I would need to

Me: “Got it. Become the KAMI of the new world and usher in a wonderful new society, right?”

Shrine maiden: “?”

Shrine maiden: “...No, what you need to do is respond to and fulfill other people’s wishes.”

Me: “...”

Great. So I’m not the protagonist of Death Note, I’m a Holy Grail wish-granting machine from a Fate-style setting.

**

A wish is a heartfelt hope, the truest reflection of what someone desires at that moment.

I can’t remember who said that anymore.

“God of the new world, or, no, Dragon Ball, all-powerful Holy Grail wish-granting machine, let’s make a deal.” The silver-haired natural perm held up one finger and said solemnly, “You grant Gin-san a lifetime supply of free strawberry parfait, and I’ll give you something every god wants. How about it?”

“Perfect, Gintoki.” I clapped like a little seal. “I had no idea you expected so much of me. You think I’m strong enough to beat up the owner of a dessert shop?”

Sakata Gintoki: “...”

Sakata Gintoki: “So what good are you, then?! What happened to being an all-powerful Holy Grail wish-granting machine?!”

“My only use might be making sure the dessert shop owner begs me on his knees not to fall over after he hits me?”

“You’re totally useless!”

“You only just figured that out?”

“Tch, fine, fine. Gin-san will make a little sacrifice.” The silver-haired young man clicked his tongue. He scratched the back of his head and gazed out the window, his eyes wandering. After struggling for a while, he finally squeezed out his next question. “You really can grant wishes in every other area, right?”

I immediately gave him a wary look. “...I can’t promise to do absolutely anything you ask.”

Sakata Gintoki’s expression twisted. “You’re not going to make Gin-san stare at the food in the pot for the rest of his life without getting to eat it, are you?!”

“Huh?” I let out a puzzled little sound. “I mean, if you ask me to cook, I absolutely won’t be able to do a good job.”

Sakata Gintoki: “...”

Me: “Is there anything else?”

Sakata Gintoki: “...”

For some reason, the person in front of me suddenly covered his face and muttered something.

Me: “Gintoki?”

“...I said I’ll handle the cooking!”

Oh, he’s embarrassed and lashing out.

**

A Yorozuya that takes on any job and a god who will help you fulfill any wish (by relying on their own efforts), even if they’re (hopelessly) useless. That’s more or less the story.

**

A ridiculous fanfic.

I could tell from the start, aru. By a Yato

There are some pointless, useless settings.

I could tell completely. It’s obvious at a glance and doesn’t need explaining. By the glasses

Theme: This is so not Gintama!