The Goofy Straight Man Fakes His Death at His Wedding, and the Evil God Comes After Him

Wishing you all happiness every day! This novel is complete. The revised, complete, error-free version is available only on Jinjiang. Thank you, my lovely readers, for your support! My next novel: The Unlucky Straight Guy Gets Married to a Calamity After Being Possessed Blurb: Li Xingshuo binds himself to a System and transmigrates to another world to complete missions, only for the System to suddenly malfunction. At the time, he is working as a low-level spy beside a bloodthirsty evil god. With death as a cannon-fodder extra looming, he frantically racks up trust and affection points just to stay alive. He accidentally goes too far. After the evil god unifies the world and ascends the throne, he actually makes Li Xingshuo his empress. . On their wedding night, the evil god coils his huge python tail, covered in icy black scales, around him. His blood-red, slit-pupil eyes are dark and inscrutable. "My true form is a python, so... if Your Majesty can't take it, you may choose one first." "..." Li Xingshuo finally understands what it means to have an impossible choice between two options. He shuts his eyes, trembling. "Whatever. I can take it (or destroy the world), I love you (or not)." The next moment, the System finally returns. Li Xingshuo springs back to full health and grins smugly. "Fuck off, you bastard!" Still dressed in his wedding robes, he lies flat on the evil god's bed and fakes his death. . Later, Li Xingshuo sees the ancient evil god from another world standing before him, a symbol of disaster and slaughter, and is left utterly bewildered. "What does 'Fuck off, you bastard' mean?" "...It means 'I wish you happiness.'" . Later still: "It means 'I wish you happiness,' huh?" "..." Li Xingshuo takes a deep breath. "What's wrong with that? I am a dog! I wish you a happy sex life!" A goofy, stubbornly straight, sunny PG (short for programmer) bottom who's good at bluffing x a violent, gloomy, lovesick, impossibly powerful evil god top who's easy to fool Note: 1. The bottom does have a bit of a mutual crush on the top, but he's so straight and so slow on the uptake that he doesn't realize it. Almost the entire novel is extremely sweet. 2. Some parts of the blurb are hard to understand due to limitations. Look them up online if you like. In short, pythons have two... 3. A goofy, exaggerated, anything-goes comedy. Lots of original worldbuilding, so don't overthink it. Coming soon: The Unlucky Straight Guy Gets Married to a Tentacle Monster After Being Possessed. Check my author page. Sheng Xingyu encounters a drowning guy at the beach. He's refined, elegant, and incredibly handsome, but there's a black tattoo on his Adam's apple. Sheng Xingyu gives him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Instead of breathing out one last breath, something pushes its way in. When the man wakes up, Sheng Xingyu punches him, but the man grabs his wrist. He keeps spitting. "You pervert! You look so refined, but you took the chance to stick your tongue into the person who saved you!" . That night, Sheng Xingyu finds the same kind of black tattoo that was on the man's Adam's apple on his own abdomen. It wriggles around inside his stomach, and when he gapes in surprise, black tentacles reach out. So the man hadn't stuck out his tongue. Something had shot inside him. He scrambles to get to the hospital, but the man he rescued that day stops him. The black tattoo has disappeared from the man's Adam's apple. Sitting in a car in a sharp suit, he coldly tells his assistant to hand Sheng Xingyu a marriage contract. Sheng Xingyu laughs in disbelief. "I'd rather die, die outside, or jump off right here than sign a single word!" He turns away in a flourish, only to be pinned in place by several black tentacles. When he turns back, he sees that the man's hand resting on the car window has really stretched into several long black tendrils. Even the whites of his eyes and his irises have turned a featureless, solid black. "What's inside your stomach is one of my clones. You can only stay alive if you're with me. To be precise, it's the only reason this planet still needs to exist." "..." Sheng Xingyu returns at the speed of light to sign, cursing inwardly and smiling apologetically as he asks how much cologne this monster has put on to smell so good. "This is a normal reaction to me when the host (the person being possessed) is nourishing the offspring. In the future, you'll only become more and more dependent on me. After we're married, I'll comfort you regularly." Sheng Xingyu: "..." Don't come any closer, aaaaaah! . A goofy college guy bottom x a sinister calamity top (marriage first, love later, a sweet treat) Theme: Face everything life throws at you with optimism, and keep growing toward the light.