The Last Zoldyck

But after reading the author's text, I was a little confused. At the beginning of the article, the enemy guest who was beaten was not in his castle. This was an era earlier than the leader, Yi Mi, and Jindu. The time period is about 100 to 80 years ago in the comics. The so-called fandom is a happy ending that people give to their favorite characters, giving them a complete life. Rather than being a fan, the author borrowed the world settings and character settings from Hunter and then created a new character himself. Scroll down to see. Except for the first chapter and a few occasional chapters, the number of words written by the author is over 2000+. Please give it a thumbs up. However, it is best to keep the word count above 3,000. I hope the author will pay attention to this. The author's complicated sentences made me a little anxious, and it was not easy to understand. Here I will take the first chapter as an example and list a few sentences for the author's reference: In the distance, the last enemy-beater is practicing. Sit on your knees on a high horizontal bar with your legs tightly parallel to the metal bar, but really "on" it rather than clamped on it. [╮(╯▽╰)╭, If I hadn't read this sentence four times before I could understand it] The chill got worse and worse, and a sudden sweep made me shiver. There was an unsettling gurgling sound coming from the next door, and soon there were voices, and the closed door began to ooze blood from the crack at the bottom. It was silent at first, then became gurgling, and soon it was gurgling again. [Gu~~(╯╰)b, what does this sentence mean? Please forgive my poor IQ] The author may consider reviewing it after writing it and transforming the complex sentences into simple sentences that are easier for people to understand. Actually, I want to say that the first few sentences of the first chapter still make me feel like I am actually there, so I want to see more plots and descriptions of psychology and characters, yes! [This is my inner cry! So, I think the young author will not disappoint me, but in the middle of the first chapter, I have to ask the author, what is your plot? What is your background? Is the character fat, thin, tall or short? Does it take me to a cartoon scene or is it a transformation of animation shots or what do I want to do? [Close eyes and recite silently] I thought of it - it turns out that the author wanted me to think about it myself. In fact, the author's writing is not bad, but he lacks a little skill in creating scenes and describing the characters. Here, I need to clearly ask the little author what he thinks: 1. Who are the readers you are facing? Are you just one-sided fans? Or more, this is something that needs to be seriously considered as an author. The original intention of writing an article is to have a larger readership, or to practice or improve yourself. As for the article, the first three chapters are definitely the most critical. If you keep the first three chapters, leave them. If you can't keep them, just close the page and never see them again. 2. Do you want to completely show what you want to write in the article, or do you want to explain everything in the comments that they don't understand? 3. Do you like readers to ask in the comments: "What will the author do next?" "It's really good, please update it" or some innocuous "Come on!" In fact, as long as the author Jun pays attention to these things, he will make great progress in the future~~ I wish the author Jun will write better and better! ╮(╯▽╰)╭ Please remember to go to Changping Shop to get your order [Yuanfang, what do you think_Long Commentary Wenpu: Xiaojiu]

I want to jump in, but I still hesitate after seeing this update and date... Xd I want to ask the author if he is still writing?

I really like the writing style, imaginative and realistic.

Ahem, Mo Qiong is here. First of all, I would like to express my deepest apologies! Ahhh, sorry! I have no chance to use the computer for exams every day lately! I hope the author will forgive QWQ! [Hands clasped together] But because it's my fellow hunter who really wants to take it, so... Anyway, the author is so awesome! It took so long! So, let's start the text. The title of this article is "The Last Beater". When I first read it, I didn't have any special feeling. It probably meant "the Beater is going to perish?" I think most people will understand it this way. Judging from the copywriting, it is very bland and has no particularly attractive highlights. However, from the introduction, it is "based on the Hunter World as the skeleton, but it does not have much to do with the plot of the comic." For girls/men who generally read Hunter Hunter, they probably won't pay too much attention to it. I think this is easy to understand, because generally those who watch "Hunting" like to watch comic characters competing against the protagonist. But the subject matter of the work itself is very novel and bold. How to write it down depends entirely on the author's imagination. I can't help but have a little expectation. Hehe~ Then the reading begins. The first chapter is actually a somewhat unclear beginning, which makes people have vague judgments and make people want to continue reading and eager to know "what is going on." In fact, this kind of beginning is more pleasant. [I really like the beginning w like this]. The second chapter and the following chapters continue the slightly confusing style of the first chapter. In fact, I would like to make a suggestion. It is best for the author to clearly describe the protagonist as soon as possible in the second chapter or an earlier chapter, that is, the origin of "I" and the reason for "why you pay so much attention to the bird-beating the enemy guest". Because some readers will not have the patience to read on if they still haven't made it clear about the protagonist's identity or other information after reaching the second chapter. [Of course, this is just a small suggestion. The author can just stick to his original style. This gives a general explanation of the first two chapters. Next, this article can generally be regarded as a development article, a guide and education for the growth of "Little Bird - Beat the Enemy Guest". In fact, the character of the protagonist is quite good. In fact, in my heart... Bu Su Bubai's character is basically OK. The protagonist's actions may seem random, but every step is actually meaningful and cautious. The image of the bird is well created, making people feel the transformation from "slightly wary" at the beginning to the later. This process is well performed. In fact, the author's writing style is similar to the protagonist's personality. At first glance, it seems a bit casual. In fact, every word and every sentence can be seen in the writing style that is quite mature. It is neither plain nor vigorous. This feeling makes people feel very comfortable. Sometimes it will suddenly give people an inexplicable feeling, which is really good. Moreover, I was reminded that there was an error, and the author also revised it carefully. Thumbs up! But one thing should be mentioned. The protagonist is actually accepted by the enemy a little faster. In my impression, the enemy guest, although he does not kill people on sight, is still very vigilant. This is probably just a small mistake. I think. Of course, this is just a personal opinion. In fact, the author has handled it very well for many other fellow hunters. Overall, this article is quite interesting, and I hope the author can stick to it and finish it. Come on!

I've been using the claw machine and haven't bothered to leave a review for Bawang for a long time. Sorry. . . I really like this article and am looking forward to it. Good luck to the author~~

Touch my dear, to be honest, I can't remember the previous version you changed. I just know that you have changed a lot, the feelings are a little clearer, and the descriptions are a little simpler.

I can only guess that Gas is gas. The names of other people must also be homophones, right? The history of the growth of a pervert in a pervert concentration camp. No more asking the protagonist for help... This is definitely not a romance novel!

Touch dear, at least this volume is finished. If you don't have inspiration, you really don't have to force yourself...

The mobile phone network was blocked from yesterday to this morning, and now it has climbed up, wiping away the sweat. It seems like a lot of the first half was deleted? Together they look pretty good. Distressed, I think this is actually not a problem, the key is, ups and downs? Suspense? Acting cute? Sensational? Breaking news? ——Compared with the beginning of the whole article, there is just less something that can pull emotions or make a deep impression. It's fine for a few chapters, but if it lasts for a long time, it becomes a bit... Uh, tired? OTL fans, please connect it yourself and take a look.

Hmm... For this part, I think the language could be more concise and clear.