My Dad Is Erlang Shen!

Also known as: "A Little Baby Dropped from the Sky," "The True Lord's Daily Life Raising a Child," and "All the Immortals Want to Team Up and Steal the Kid Every Day"

Xiaoguai's version:

Xiaoguai was a little red carp from the Western Sea, innocent and carefree, knowing nothing of the world. Then she was kidnapped and taken up to the Heavenly Court.

In the solemn halls of the Heavenly Court, she saw that proud, upright figure for the first time.

Her father: the True Lord Erlang, Zhaohui Xiansheng.

Later, she fell right into her father's arms. (/ω\)

The Heavenly Court's version:

At the Peach Banquet that year, all the immortals saw it with their own eyes: a baby suddenly appeared before the palace hall and landed squarely in the arms of the Judicial God, who was famously cold, ruthless, and impartial. The child opened her mouth and called out in a clear little voice, "Daddy!" The incident shocked all three realms.

After that, True Lord Erlang had a little shadow trailing after him that he couldn't shake off.

Later still, he realized that more and more people were forming teams to sneak into his temple and steal the child every day.

The Jade Emperor: Ahem. Erlang, I don't have anything in particular to ask. I just wanted to see if the little one is doing well.

Chang'e: Xiaoguai has always loved snacks. Your Highness, take these fruit wines back with you.

Nezha: Hmph. I just came to check on the Dragon King's beloved granddaughter for him, so you don't neglect Xiaoguai.

Little Golden Crow: I just wanted to visit my little niece...

Erlang Shen, who sees right through them all: Hah.

*

Yang Jian once thought that he would rot away in this filthy mire for the rest of his life, alone, bearing the weight of all his sins as he walked the defiant path against Heaven with no way back.

No future. No hope.

No redemption. No release.

Death had once seemed like the most perfect ending for him.

But when the great axe truly came crashing down, he saw a tiny figure.

That tiny figure rushed in with all her might, clutching him tightly with little hands and shining with a faint, warm light that illuminated the desolate room.

*

Bonus scene:

Second Master's daily life raising a child

"Daddy, I'm hungry!"

Erlang Shen, who had abstained from food for thousands of years, attained sainthood in the flesh, had long forgotten what hunger felt like, and was an immortal of a thousand years: (eyes wide with shock)

Inner thoughts: What is hunger? Why do children get hungry? What do children eat? Peaches of Immortality? Can they eat magical power? Immortal pills?

Thinking very seriously...

The Supreme Old Lord: (Suddenly feels a chill run down his back.)

Please see the author's note in Chapter One for content warnings.

***On my upcoming list: "The Years I Kept Running into True Lord Erlang [Cyberpunk]"***

My take on cyberpunk immortals and a cyberpunk world.

Original female lead x Yang Jian. A few lighthearted stories full of banter.

Blurb:

Meng Qing had been holed up on Mount Buzhou for countless millennia. Her impression of the Heavenly Court still came from the grand gathering of immortals at the Peach Banquet, the last time before last.

It wasn't until she went down the mountain to visit a friend one day and came face-to-face with a pair of enormous, cutesy eyes on the little machine blocking her way at the Southern Heavenly Gate that she realized:

The times had really changed.

"Heavenly Court Visitor Services Smart Robot, Spirit Official No. 337, at your service! Press 1 if you have an appointment, 2 if you're a visitor, or 3 to speak to a human operator. The Heavenly Court accepts no responsibility for anyone who forces their way through the Southern Heavenly Gate!"

*

Meng Qing first met Yang Jian on a rainy night.

He looked disheveled then, taking shelter in the little shop at the foot of her mountain with a tiny bundle cradled protectively in his arms.

Out of kindness, she served him a bowl of chicken soup.

The next time they met, he was the Heavenly Court's specially appointed cyberpunk ghost-catching True Lord,

while she was the cyberpunk female ghost he had come to catch.

_

Theme: Love and redemption, with both finding their way to each other.