Chasing the Light

Qin Yue has had social anxiety since childhood and is a loner. When she first enters university, she doesn’t have a single person she can talk to. At a chance university-wide competition, she meets Su Qingze, a third-year senior in the computer science department. He smiles like the warm winter sun, facing the light. “I’m a senior in computer science. If there’s anything you don’t understand, just ask me.” He thoughtfully takes her feelings into account at social gatherings and shields her from her classmates’ well-meaning dare-game jokes. At Christmas, he brings her a cup of hot milk. “It’s cold out. Drink something warm to keep cozy.” His gentle, thoughtful kindness slowly eases Qin Yue’s anxiety. She thinks Su Qingze is a light, a light that warms her. She’s willing to leave her comfort zone and move closer to him, chasing that light. But later, she realizes that Su Qingze is just as kind to every girl. He tells the other girls in his club to come to him if they need anything. He politely gives the only chair to a female classmate and stands off to the side himself. Qin Yue finally understands that he was only being kind because it was his duty as a senior. The turtle retreats into its shell once again, and the heart that had opened just a little closes tight. * At first, Su Qingze is only kind to Qin Yue because it’s his duty as a senior. He thinks she’s quite shy and wants to look out for her. The girl is wary of everything around her, like a fawn, but when she faces him, there is light in her eyes. But little by little, that light fades, and she no longer wants to talk to him. “Qin Yue, I think I might... have fallen for you.” When Su Qingze says this, the tips of his ears turn red, and he awkwardly reaches up to scratch the back of his head. He’s always been socially adept and gets along well with the people around him, regardless of gender. But now, in front of the girl he loves, he’s as awkward and inexperienced as an eighteen-year-old boy. “Sorry, Senior, but I have a boyfriend.” Qin Yue turns him down, then smiles brightly and runs to the roommate behind him, taking his hand of her own accord. There is light in her eyes again, just not for him anymore. No one could have guessed that the story began with a girl with social anxiety trying to step out of her shell for a light. It ends with the girl finding another light that warms her life. Theme: Love yourself and love others