May I Marry You Today?

The Terminal met them when they were young.

Youthful and full of ideals.

How radiant they were. May their futures shine just as brightly.

As they were about to part, the Terminal said, "Young people, you may each make one wish to me."

Wu○ Wu: "Marriage."

Xia○ Jie: "Please have a child with me."

The Terminal: "..."

The Terminal: "?"

The Terminal: "First, you are minors. Second, bigamy is illegal. I'm afraid I have to refuse."

"Why are you bringing human laws and morals into this? You're an alien!"

"Miss Qiushi, please don't be bound by human conventions."

"But you are human, aren't you? If you are, you need to have a proper understanding of sexual partners, at the very least."

The Terminal replied, "What does a proper understanding of sexual partners mean? It means the other party should at least be a person."

×

It was supposed to be a beautiful, sunny day.

I was looking after the kids, running the air conditioner, and having a hot pot party with my friends, singing as we ate, when the Yotsu police box suddenly called to say someone at my house had gotten into trouble and needed bail.

When I arrived in Yotsu Village in the Sagara area, the village head clutched my hand, crying and telling me how Wu○ Wu and Xia○ You had refused payment after finishing an exorcism job and insisted on helping the villagers turn the waste into compost for free. They worked themselves to the bone, blowing up that latrine from one end of the village to the other for three whole days and nights. Even the production team's donkey couldn't match their tireless, heroic efforts. Wherever they went, not a speck of shit remained. If there was shit to be found, they were sure to be right there.

I pulled my hand from the shit-scented grip of the village head, who was sobbing about how the place had already been blown up seven times, and silently headed to the police box.

Good grief. Through the glass, I saw the suspects, Wu○ Wu and Xia○ Jie: one was fussing over the fruit, while the other lounged with his feet on the table, reading a book. Neither showed the slightest remorse. I knocked on the window, and the scene inside instantly turned into oppressed peasants singing in celebration of their liberation. The young officer scolded the two Special Grade Jujutsu Sorcerers, whose dog-tempered personalities were also Special Grade, and who were acting even more meek and pitiful than they ever did in front of Principal Yaga.

"A contest to blow up a latrine? Have you no shame?"

Me: ...

I even wondered if they had hired an actor just to set me up.

I really wanted to turn around and leave, but the young officer had already enthusiastically ushered me inside. "You're the one here to bail them out, right?"

Wu○ Wu raised his hand. "Honey, you're here!"

Xia○ You swiftly pushed Wu○ Wu's hand down. "Gojo's drunk. This is actually my wife!"

The simple country policeman had never seen anything like it. Both he and his voice trembled. "...What kind of family are you? You two share one wife?"

Me: "That's completely made up. You two failed graves, please stop making up your own drama. I'm his ex-wife. I've handed it over to my lawyer."

:)

×

"...Whatever you do, don't fall in love."

Those were the last words my father left me after my mother died, and the only words he ever said to me.

My concern about those words accumulated in a corner of my mind over the years, becoming a question that had to be addressed. The Origin, Ontology (me), was responsible for regulating it; the Terminal (me) was responsible for immersing itself among the flowing lives.

I am not a "person," and I do not understand "love." That is why I stand here, again and again, gazing from afar at the happiness called "humanity" and the miracle called "love."

Giving unnecessary "love" and "salvation."

Then quietly waiting for the day when the me who has learned "love" and become a "person" (the Terminal) is rejected by me (the Origin) and denied the chance to return.

Waiting for the moment my drifting along the timeline comes to an end.

* Third-person narration.

* The timeline begins in the youth of two problem children and the treasured students of the technical college. It starts a little slowly.

* Basically, everyone survives, and it has a happy ending.

* A huge love polygon, including alternate timelines.

* I'll try to keep things logical and down-to-earth, with a touch of the underworld, but this isn't a brainless, sugary story for unwinding.

* The female lead is older.

* Deus ex machina elements are present.

* The author may have a fit, and some dark content may make you uncomfortable while reading, but justice will ultimately prevail.

Around January 22, this will become a paid novel, with three chapters released at once. The author has to make a living, too, you know. (Shows an increasingly weary smile.) Take pity on this exhausted author, and maybe there'll be daily updates. _(:з"∠)_

Theme: Struggle to do good. People can find happiness.