Panda Stand-In, Slacker Goes Viral

[Don't Read This, I Wrote It When I Was in a Bad Place] Panda Jiujiu transmigrates into a showbiz novel full of romantic rivalries, where she becomes the female lead's stand-in. According to the plot, she has to let the men who love the female lead break her heart and dig out her kidney, before she dies a tragic death on the street. Jiujiu declares: Dying is out of the question! System wheedles: Just do as you're told and you'll get little bamboo shoots! Jiujiu makes a pained, conflicted face: A panda will never be a slave, unless you provide food and lodging... So, when do I get my bamboo shoots? In reality, Jiujiu's panda spirit awakens, and all she wants is to lie flat amid the romantic chaos. On a wilderness survival variety show, Jiujiu puts her first panda skill to use: climbing trees! Haters: She's just a tiny bit amazing! On a cooking show, Jiujiu puts her second panda skill to use: eating nonstop! Haters: She's just a tiny bit adorable! Jiujiu, both capricious and carefree, becomes a beloved national star in no time. The original male lead waits for Jiujiu to break his heart and dig out his kidney, as long as she'll honor him with a date. The second male lead holds a press conference and admits he's had a crush on Jiujiu since childhood. The villain has bought a gigantic diamond ring and is secretly preparing a proposal surprise for her! The System sobs: "The plot's fallen apart this badly. What am I supposed to do?" Jiujiu pulls out her little ledger and declares: None of that matters. Pay me all the little bamboo shoots you owe me, in one go! What could a panda possibly do wrong? She only loves bamboo shoots! *shrugs* * As a stand-in, diligent Jiujiu crashes into the villain, a ruthless bastard who turns on people in an instant, as soon as she arrives. Countless bodyguards stand with their backs to them, creating an imposing sense of pressure. Only afterward does Jiujiu realize: I rolled the wrong person. Can we start over? Villain: ... System: ... Beloved Jiujiu lays out these terms for all her suitors: 1. Your home must come with a bamboo forest, and the bigger the better. 2. The panda comes first. 3. Cross-species reproduction is dangerous, so please be aware of that in advance! Coming soon: The Ancestress of the Hehuan Sect Goes Viral on a Dating Show While undergoing a tribulation, Xia Youqing, the ancestress of the Hehuan Sect, is struck by heavenly lightning and ends up in the body of a supporting female character in a dating-show novel. The ancestress has no interest in love. The ancestress only knows how to keep a pond of admirers! Fantasy coming soon: Love Tribulation Rong Dai, a disciple of the Canglan Sect, has undergone six love tribulations, and failed every one. Everyone in the sect knows how deeply she loves her senior brother, Chu Xu. She even gave up a chance to advance, just so she could be with him day and night in the illusion. After transmigrating into the book, Rong Dai protests: You can't blame the original host. It's the sect elders' fault for fishing for trouble. Whenever she underwent a love tribulation, she could run into Chu Xu even on a trip to the latrine. Completed works: The Little Divine Beast Gets Rich Through Metaphysics, The Empress Doesn't Want to Go to Kindergarten, The Wolf Pup, My Son's Adolescence Theme: Cherish the people you have while they're still here