The Fool's Restaurant

Ongoing novel: "Brother, You Dropped Your Chest Binder." Scroll down for the blurb.

Blurb: (Food + Business) (Married Life + Winning Her Back)

Her Side:

She transmigrates into the body of a minister's granddaughter, only to find herself penniless, with both parents dead and a little brother who is still too young to fend for himself.

Tao Zhen curls her lips into a smile. With my exceptional cooking skills, I'll handle this with ease. Before long, I'll be making money, buying land and a house, marrying into a rich and handsome family, and reaching the peak of life. Just thinking about it gets me a little excited.

Wait, what kind of ridiculous ancient era is this? Why is there a law saying that unmarried women over twenty must be forcibly matched by the official matchmaker?

The official matchmaker comes to her door, arrogantly leading a squad of constables. Her booklet is full of hunchbacks, cripples, and poor old men waiting for wives.

Tao Zhen looks over the crowd, raises her hand, and points at the fool who's been clinging to her lately.

A last-minute recruit. You're the one.

Foolish Male Lead: Mommy~~

Tao Zhen: Don't call me Mommy. Call me wife.

She turns to the matchmaker: This is my husband. He just married into my family today.

Matchmaker: That's what you get for being clever. Now you've married a fool. Enjoy your wonderful life.

Now that she has a foolish husband to look after, Tao Zhen prepares herself for the burden.

Unexpectedly, life turns out to be lovely: she kneads the dough while he tends the fire; she washes the vegetables while he tends the fire; she cooks the soup while he tends the fire... Are you trying to get yourself killed? Can't you do anything else?

The foolish husband gets to work: he carries water, washes dishes, chops vegetables, delivers takeout, and greets customers, helping her set up a restaurant. Silver coins flow into their pockets like water.

She makes money, buys land and a house, and just as her dream life comes true, her husband quietly disappears.

Tao Zhen: Could he be some gender-swapped version of the snail maiden, giving without expecting anything in return, then vanishing with the wind one day, his good deeds forever hidden?

Heh heh, now I have another chance to marry into a rich and handsome family!

His Side:

The Cao Gang falls into infighting, and its second-in-command goes missing.

When he returns, the hall leaders discover that their second-in-command, known as the "Jade-Faced Ruthless Lover," has acquired a number of new hobbies. The biggest one is sneaking into the kitchen to tend the fire.

Firewood prices skyrocket in the capital, and everyone starts stockpiling wood.

Then, one day, they find the second-in-command drunk and kneeling outside a restaurant, howling at the sky: "Wife~~ Let me tend the fire for you one more time~~"

Tao Zhen tosses out a divorce letter: We ordinary folk just want a peaceful life. I don't want to get mixed up with the underworld. Please leave me alone, good bandit hero.

The second-in-command returns in a different outfit, wearing an official's uniform.

His attendant introduces him to everyone: This is Chu Yunxi, Vice Minister of the Court of Judicial Review. Two years ago, he concealed his identity and infiltrated the Cao Gang to assist the court's investigation. He nearly died, and even lost his memory. Now the major case has been solved. Congratulations are in order.

Chu Yunxi sneaks a glance at Tao Zhen: Wife, can I still tend the fire for you from now on?

P.S.

1. A brilliant cook with a terrible temper and stunning looks, the former minister's granddaughter VS a Court of Judicial Review vice minister who went undercover in the Cao Gang, became a fool, lost his memory, and ended up among the common people

2. HE

3. The setting is fictional and includes original worldbuilding. Please understand.

[Please add my upcoming novel, "Brother, You Dropped Your Chest Binder"]

Blurb:

When Cui Jiarou ran away from her wedding, she went straight to a high monk to ask for a fortune: "Of the four directions, southeast, northwest, which one is most auspicious?"

The monk calculates with his fingers. "The west is best."

Satisfied, she leaves her reward and goes.

Riding a donkey all the way to the Western Regions, she gets into a feud with Xue Lang, the Protector General of Anxi, on her very first day in town.

She praises him as peerlessly handsome.

He wants to eat her precious donkey.

She disguises herself as a man and hides her identity.

He searches the whole city for her, intending to take her back to Chang'an.

Damn that monk for misleading me!

When they first meet, she doesn't yet know that he loathes homosexuality.

Once she finds out, every time she sees him, she gazes at him with sparkling eyes and puts on a lovestruck expression.

"General Xue, your noble bearing is like the bright moon in the heavens. You truly stir my heart, little brother. The night is cold and lonely. May I warm your bed?"

That'll disgust him to death!

Sure enough, Xue Lang always darkens his expression, his long-fingered hand gripping the hilt of his sword as he restrains himself from cutting her down. "Get lost."

Cui Jiarou laughs her way to victory and makes her escape. She'll do it again next time.

Until one day, he annoys her again, so she sidles up to him and breathes softly by his ear: "General Xue, the night is deep, the dew is heavy, and the bedding is cold. It's time to rest..."

"All right," he agrees, for the first time. His tall frame looms over her like a shadow. "Should we go to your place or my tent? Or spend the first half of the night at your place and the second half in my tent?"

Cui Jiarou: "..."

Bonus Scene:

After falling for a man, Xue Lang, who has always despised homosexuality, tosses and turns, growing thinner with longing.

At last, he grits his teeth and decides to accept his fate.

In the gentle breeze and drizzle, Xue Lang sits by the window and writes a letter home.

"Your son is stationed at the border, where life and death are uncertain. I don't wish to hold another woman back, and will never again discuss marriage with anyone.

If Mother longs for the joy of having grandchildren around her, you may adopt two children from a poor family in our clan..."

He sets down his brush and raises his head. Beneath a tree outside the window stands a handsome young man.

The young man has sloping shoulders, a slender waist, and a lean build.

After stretching, a bundle of cloth suddenly falls at his feet, and his chest instantly rises into two high mounds...

The young man is startled. He hurriedly grabs the cloth and vanishes from outside the window.

When he appears again, he first looks around furtively a few times. Certain that no one saw what happened, he strolls over, fanning himself with a paper fan in a carefree manner.

"General, what a fine mood you're in. Practicing your calligraphy?"

The warmth in Xue Lang's eyes fades. He gives a cold laugh and crumples the letter into a ball.

With one more squeeze, even the paper ball turns to dust.

#Cross-dressing, HE#

Theme: Strive to improve and never give up