Can You Become an Emperor for the Ages Just by Going Wild?

[Mad Emperor x Everyone Reads Too Much Into Things]

Ji Ling dies and is reborn after transmigrating into a book, becoming a puppet emperor with the same name.

The good news: He remembers every plot point in the book.

The bad news: According to the plot, the State of Jixia will fall in three years. He'll be dragged for a thousand miles behind an enemy warhorse until his flesh and bones are torn apart, and after his death, he'll even be torn apart by five horses and have his head hung above the enemy city.

As an unambitious college student, Ji Ling thinks it over calmly and reaches a conclusion:

Since he's going to die in three years anyway, he might as well do whatever he wants until then. Let him wreck everyone else first!

At court one morning, his regent uncle once again rejects his decree. Ji Ling immediately hurls the imperial jade seal at his head. "This isn't allowed, that isn't allowed. You're so capable, so take the throne and sit on it yourself!"

The ministers fall silent with fear. The regent's face turns livid.

One day, during a visit to the empress dowager, she hints that Ji Ling should appoint one of her nephews as prime minister. Ji Ling flips the table on the spot. "Mother, mind your own business. If you can't do that, then manage the harem. Your nieces, grandnieces, and even distant cousins are all waiting for you to entertain them. Don't stick your hand so far into the affairs of the court unless you want to get it broken!"

The empress dowager freezes in her phoenix chair. That night, she tosses and turns, unable to sleep. What happened to the weak puppet emperor?

Another day, an attendant eunuch cheerfully brings him a tonic soup.

Ji Ling lets out a cold laugh, grabs the eunuch by the chin, and pours the soup back down his throat. Later, gazing at the dead eunuch, he says impassively, "This tonic of yours really is potent. One bowl is enough to send you straight to the underworld to enjoy yourself. At least you didn't drink it for nothing."

A neighboring country on the border sends a letter of challenge, arrogantly demanding that Ji Ling cede ten cities and then travel to the border with thorn branches on his back to kneel and beg for peace.

The ministers wait to see how he will grovel this time. But the letter contains only one line:

"(A string of colorful curses) You stupid bastard! If you've got the guts, come here and let your father kill you!"

The neighboring country's general reads it in silence, suspecting it to be an unparalleled strategy to lure the enemy deep into their territory. In the end, he holds his troops back.

The whole court goes mad.

Minister A: "The king threw the jade seal to sound out the regent! The Prince Regent has acted tyrannically for years, and His Majesty waited until now to make his move. What a deep-laid plan!"

Minister B: "He overturned the empress dowager's tea table and every word was barbed. He must have long been laying the groundwork to reclaim control of the harem!"

Minister C: "That letter... He used the crudest language to provoke the enemy, concealing the military wisdom of striking first and gaining the advantage! The king even understands the art of war!"

Everyone starts frantically recalling every word Ji Ling has said and every gesture he has made.

His past cowardice becomes strategic patience. His cold smile today becomes a mocking jab at the court's incompetence. Even a yawn is seen as a lazy act meant to lull his political enemies into complacency.

A few months later, the regent unexpectedly falls from his horse and is trampled to death by the spooked animal, his chest crushed in a gruesome end. The empress dowager and chief eunuch expose each other's secrets in open court, acting like bitter enemies bent on killing one another. When the neighboring country learns that the State of Jixia is in turmoil, it thinks things over carefully and withdraws its hundred thousand troops. "They're on the verge of falling, yet still dare to make this much trouble. They must have another card up their sleeve."

When news of the retreat arrives, the ministers kneel outside the hall and praise the emperor's wisdom. Inside, Ji Ling is sprawled over the imperial desk, catching up on sleep and oblivious to the world.

When someone wakes him, he looks up in a rage. "...What is it now?!"

The ministers are moved to tears. "Your Majesty, you don't have to keep pretending! At last, we understand all your painstaking efforts!"

Ji Ling: "...?" What a bunch of lunatics.

(Completely numb.)

.

Time passes, and envoys from every nation arrive to pay their respects.

In the State of Jixia, everyone is equal, the people stand united, and the country enjoys peace and prosperity.

Ji Ling sits on the throne and gazes down at the foreign envoys kneeling in a sea of black robes, wondering about his life.

What did he even do? How did the plot end up like this?

The king leans down and asks his attendant, "Why are they so afraid of me?"

The attendant looks at him with reverence. "Your Majesty must be joking. You care for all under heaven, have far-reaching vision, and embrace all things. You understand the past and foresee the future, and are a master strategist... How could I dare presume to comment on Your Majesty's intentions?"

Ji Ling: "…" What even is this?

(He's lost it.)

Reading guide:

A lunatic college student decides to wield the power of an emperor and wreck everyone, only to be remembered throughout history as a wise ruler.

Theme: Being alive is already an effort. Anything beyond that is something to strive for, and that alone is noble enough.