Also known as His Majesty's Own Words: The Heart-Wrenching Romance Between the Regent and the Late Emperor
Jiang Ting was the most useless emperor of the Great Jin Dynasty.
He had seven consorts in all. Three were sent by court officials just to make up the numbers. Two were lesbians who insisted on entering the palace because they refused to marry. One was kept in the harem by force because her braised pork ribs were so good. The last was a palace maid who had risen through the ranks and wanted to take court intrigue seriously, but no one paid her any mind. So she picked up her suona again and played while the ladies gambled at mahjong, earning a little tip money.
The consorts spent every day eating and waiting to die, and whenever it was their turn to attend the emperor, they ran faster than anyone. The useless Jiang Ting was still a virgin!
It was just too tragic. Even the Regent, who held the court in his grasp, couldn't stand to watch, so he personally stepped in to help with this little problem.
Regent: Don't mention it. It's my duty as your subject.
You write such vivid stories about me and the late emperor in bed, don't you? Heh.
Jiang Ting: I'm done for. I slept with my stepmother, oh no!
Father, I've wronged you!
*
One day, on a certain month:
Jiang Ting had stayed up late playing mahjong with his consorts the night before. He dozed off in court, and when the Regent woke him, he blurted out, "Stepmom, you scared me to death!"
Court officials: ???
The next day, stories about the Regent and the late emperor spread all over the capital.
One day later: "Did you hear? The Regent and the late emperor had a thing! His Majesty said so himself!"
Two days later: "Did you hear? The late emperor and the Regent had a bedchamber showdown, and His Majesty saw it with his own eyes!"
Three days later: "Did you hear? His Majesty is the child the Regent personally gave birth to for the late emperor!"
Regent: Hahahahahaha!
(Another one has lost his mind.)
The cover was drawn by my lovely friend Suying!
Theme: Rumors aren't reliable. Don't start or spread them.
